Video Interlude #1

Today's video interlude: Leonard, Part 2

(This is NOT a HondoJoe Top 200 song. But I thought it appropriate for today.)

(There is much to like about this video, but my favorite part is the finger point at the 1:24 mark.)

COMING UP NEXT: A song that should have been sung by Jack Black or Jack Mack and the Heart Attack. (Yes, I WILL get back to the countdown.)

141: No Dark Sarcasm In the Classroom

141. "Another Brick In the Wall" by Pink Floyd {#1; 1/80} [iTunes? Yes] {YouTube: Another Brick In the Wall. (Wow, that's a cheery little video, idn't it?)}

How naive was I in 8th grade when this song came out? I didn't even know the meaning of the word "sarcasm." When I would sing along to this song (and didn't we all?) I would change the lyrics to "no Dukes of Hazzard in the classroom." Mind you, I knew the lyrics weren't "Dukes of Hazzard," but I didn't know what "dark sarcasm" meant, so I'd rather sing about one of my favorite television programs.

(My how times have changed. Sarcasm? Do I know sarcasm now? Sarcasm is my friend.)

This was an immensely popular song at the time. It's fun(-ish) to sing along with. And it has some memorable lyrics. Plus, it dares to ask the musical question: How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat? (You may have guessed by now, but I'm kind of fond of musical questions.)

COMING UP NEXT: A song that, unfortunately, was not written by Burt Bacharach. (Or Jack Kerouac.)

142: You Don't Have To Wear That Dress Tonight

142. "Roxanne" by The Police {#32; 2/79} [iTunes? Yes] {YouTube: Roxanne.}

"Roxanne" is the perfect confluence of prostitution and falsetto.

(As far as I know.) (Not that I've had any personal experience or anything.)

I'm trying to think of songs that have inspired more bad falsettos and I'm having a hard time. Sure, there are a lot of different songs featuring Steve Perry vocals that send men into the falsetto zone. And then there are the high notes on "Take On Me" by A-ha that get me every time. Also, for the older crowd, "Tiptoe Through the Tulips" by Tiny Tim. But I'd put "Roxanne" right up there at or near the top of that list.

While I'm here, let me point out a pet peeve of mine. (What? Me grumble and complain about something? That's so unlike me.) Looking up this song at various places on the interwebs, I've often found it credited to "Sting and the Police."

NO!!!

This is a song by The Police. NOT Sting and The Police. Plain and simple: The Police.

Yes, Sting was a member of The Police at the time, and yes, he was the lead singer on this song. But THIS SONG IS BY "The Police."

Likewise, it is never "Phil Collins and Genesis." It is either Phil Collins or Genesis. It is never "Lionel Richie and the Commodores." It is either Lionel Richie or the Commodores. It is never "Peter Cetera and Chicago." It is always just Chicago. (No one cares about Peter Cetera.)

I might be talked into accepting "The Police, featuring Sting" or "Genesis, featuring Phil Collins," but most days I don't like those, either. (Because I'm grumpy.)

Now, put away your makeup.

COMING UP NEXT: 8th grade: Who needs it?

143: Holy Cow, I Think He's Gonna Make It!

143. "Paradise by the Dashboard Light" by Meat Loaf {#39; 8/78} [iTunes? Yes] {No official video}

Mmmm....meatloaf! I used to regularly get the meatloaf at Frontier Pies in Pocatello. It had a glaze of barbecue sauce on it. Delicious!

Yes, I'm a hack. I couldn't write about Meat Loaf without talking about meatloaf. It just wouldn't be right.

(It doesn't have to have barbecue sauce, by the way. I'm okay with gravy, too.)

What's that? You say we're not here to talk about the food? You say you want to talk about the musician who calls himself Meat Loaf? This guy:

Not nearly as appetizing. Or meaty. (Although ham is meat, and this guy is definitely hammy.)

I like this song for a number of reasons. 1) It's darn fun to sing along with. 2) I love the baseball play-by-play interlude with Yankees announcer Phil Rizutto. 3) It's an excellent eight-minute long exercise song. The length of the song, plus the three parts to it, make it great for filling up some time during a 30 or 40 minute workout. D) It reminds me of being in Sheldon's basement. He (or Kendall) had it on record, and Sheldon introduced me to the song. He thought it was cool, so I thought it was cool, too. (Sheldon wasn't always my arbiter of "cool," but he was on this occasion.)

Of course, back then I didn't realize the sheer sextitude of the lyrics. Oh well. It's still great to fire me up when I'm on my elliptical.

COMING UP NEXT: The song that launched a million bad falsettos.

144: Communication Breakdown All Around

144. "Sweet Talkin' Woman" by Electric Light Orchestra {#17; 2/78} [iTunes? Yes] {YouTube: Sweet Talkin' Woman.}

This probably won't make any sense to you, but this is one of my absolute favorite country music songs ever. I know what you're thinking. (Besides "HondoJoe, where do you find time to juggle?") You are thinking: "Country? This song is from the height of ELO's disco phase. This ain't no country song!"

Of course, you would be right. But, I propose that the next time you hear this song you think about replacing some of the guitars and violins with some steel guitar, and then sing it with a heavy country "twang" in your voice. And then you'll realize this makes an excellent country music song! (Once you start, you can't stop. I always sing along with a country twang whenever I hear this song anymore.) (Does this make me crazy? No. I was crazy long before I started doing this.)

After seeing the video for this song, I don't feel quite as bad that I've never had the opportunity to see ELO in concert. He's a brilliant musician, but Jeff Lynne doesn't exactly have a riveting stage presence. (A giant afro and goatee can only take you so far.) (Also, in watching the video I was surprised that Jeff actually allowed a spotlight to shine occasionally on bass player Kelly Groucutt.) (And his giant afro.)

COMING UP NEXT: Where's the beef?

145: I'm Not As Ugly, Sad As You

145. "Inside Out" by Eve 6 {#28; 12/98} [iTunes? Yes] [YouTube video: Inside Out.]

Hey, it's another song from my trying to stay "hip" and "with it" era of the 1990s. You may have noticed that the higher we get in the HondoJoe Top 200, the fewer "hip" and "with it" songs we get and the more "wheelhouse" songs we have. That trend will be even more pronounced the higher we get in the list.

This is an excellent "sing-along" song. "Want to put my tender heart in a blender. Watch it spin round to a beautiful oblivion. Rendezvous then I'm through with you."

Eve 6 had another couple of songs that got some radio play. "Promise" and "Here's to the Night" are both pretty good songs. And, there's an album cut from this album that is an awesome driving and/or workout song called "Open Road Song." (It's yet another of those "just missed out on the Top 200" songs.)

[Also, I've decided, where possible, I'll be linking to the "official" YouTube video for each song as I post them.]

COMING UP NEXT: Where did you go?

146: Her Lipstick Reflex

146. "Freeze Frame" by J. Geils Band {#4; 2/82} [iTunes? Yes]

I like me a good organ every now and then. And this song gives you that constant, unrelenting, driving, repetitive organ riff. (Sure, it's probably just a synthesizer, but it sounds like an organ.)

I also like me a good scream in a song every now and then, and this song has an excellent scream toward the end.

I watched the video for this song. It's pretty stupid and unremarkable. (Here's a link: Freeze Frame.) Upon watching the video I came away thinking, dang, that is an ugly band. When you can describe someone as looking kinda like Rik Ocasik, but not quite as handsome, that's not a good thing.

(And look, it's another "wheelhouse" song from early in 1982! It was a very good year.)

COMING UP NEXT: Be careful what you put in your blender.

147: Do I Repulse You With My Queasy Smile?

147. "Grace Kelly" by Mika [iTunes? Yes] {It may have charted, but my book only goes up to 2006, and that's when this song came out.}

His name is Mika. He lives on the second floor. He lives upstairs from you. Yes, I think you've heard him before. (Why? Because he sounds just like Freddie Mercury.)

If Freddie Mercury were alive in 2006 and had come out with a solo album, it would have sounded an awful lot like this. (Maybe. Who knows, maybe Freddie would have released an album of Don Ho covers. It's hard to tell with Freddie.)

I bought Mika's album, and besides "Grace Kelly," the song "Love Today" is also outstanding. There are several other songs which are also very good. I then bought his next album, and it wasn't nearly as good. I don't know if he's put anything else out after that or not. (I guess I could look it up, but I'm too lazy.)

It also helps the ratings of this song that The Wife also likes it a lot, and we sing along together when we hear it.

COMING UP NEXT: How do you like your organ?

148: I Tried My Imagination (But I Was Disturbed)

148. "867-5309/Jenny" by Tommy Tutone {#4; 1/82} [iTunes? Yes]
"You don't know me, but you make me so happy."

This song gets a big boost from being a "wheelhouse" song (shout out to 1982!) and for its sing-along-ability. Not only is it fun to sing along with, it's fun to sing along using other voices. This is a great song to sing using the "Patrick Stewart" voice. Heck, a Jimmy Stewart voice would be fun, too. And, even more appropriate, a Forrest Gump voice would work, as well. ("Jenny? Jenny? Who can I turn to?")

Did you know that Tommy Tutone was a group, not just some guy? I didn't. Now I do.

I'm glad the guys from Tommy Tutone were able to get this song out before the lawyers got their hands on it. Why? Because "555-5309" just wouldn't have been as fun of a song.

And, for some reason, the idea of getting a girl's number from the bathroom wall reminds me of the show Happy Days. And anything that brings to mind The Fonz, Potsie, and Ralph Malph has to be pretty good, right? (How many shows have actually featured a bathroom as one of their regular sets?)

COMING UP NEXT: Not Freddie Mercury! (Just a reasonable facsimile.)

149: The Sweet Green Icing

149. "MacArthur Park" by Richard Harris {#2; 5/68} [iTunes? Yes]
Once more for emphasis: Richard Marx? No. Richard Harris? Yes. (Sorry about that.)

Actually, it doesn't really matter who sings this song, because the lyrics are the star of the show. Sure, the fact that the "singer" is a hammy British actor who would go on to play Dumbledore is just, dare I say it, icing on the cake. (Mmmm......sweet, green icing!) Donna Summer took the song to #1 in 1978, and even the Disco Queen couldn't outshine the lyrics.

Ah, those lyrics! "MacArthur Park is melting in the dark, all that sweet green icing flowing down. Someone left a cake out in the rain. I don't think that I can take it, 'cause it took so long to bake it. And I'll never have that recipe again! Oh no!"

I have no idea what this picture means. I also have no idea what those lyrics mean.

What can be said about those lyrics that hasn't already been said? In his Book of Bad Songs, Dave Barry called it the worst song with the worst lyrics of all time. Who am I to argue with Dave Barry?

I guess the bottom line is: if it is raining, or if there is any chance that it might rain, DON'T TAKE THE CAKE OUTSIDE!!! (Seems like common sense to me.)

COMING UP NEXT: A dime doesn't buy as much as it used to.

150: Save Me Darlin'

150. "Far From Over" by Frank Stallone {#10; 7/83} [iTunes? Yes]
Frank Stallone.

Frank Stallone?

Yes, Frank Stallone!!!

There is no Elton John in the HondoJoe Top 200, but there is Frank Stallone! No Hall and Oates, no Huey Lewis, no Boston, no Kansas, no Outfield, no Chilliwack, but, yes, Frank Stallone.

Once more for emphasis:
Frank Sinatra? No.
Frank Stallone? Yes!

(Joey Travolta must be kicking himself in the face!)

Of course, Frank Stallone can thank Martin Short and Harry Shearer for being on this list. Because, this song brings to mind one of the greatest video shorts in the storied history of Saturday Night Live. (Long before Andy Samberg began to "Lazy Sunday" his way into America's hearts.)

"I'm not a strong swimmer."

A link to the "men's synchronized swimming" clip is here: Synchronized Swimming on SNL. My two favorite lines are, "I'm not a strong swimmer." And, "You're not angry at him. You're just pointing at him."

COMING UP NEXT: Mmmm.....cake!

151: Can't Play the Harmonica

151. "Veronica" by Mary Kai [iTunes? Yes]
There's been a lot of talk about this next song. Perhaps too much talk. This is not a rebel song. This is a song about a pig. A sad little pig. And her name is Veronica.

Yes, this is a children's song. It has been sung at our house quite often, especially the opening line: "Hey, Veronica, why are you so sad?"

And here's something I noticed when I had a daughter, named her Veronica, then did an iTunes search for songs with "Veronica" in the title. The vast majority of songs that have the name Veronica somewhere in the lyrics attempt, at some point, to rhyme "Veronica" with "harmonica."

(Special shout out to Elvis Costello for bucking that trend.)

COMING UP NEXT: Let's be Frank.

152: Everybody Had Matching Towels

152. "Rock Lobster" by the B-52's {#56; 4/80} [iTunes? Yes]

It wasn't a rock.

You've got to like the B-52's, right?

Lobster

I'm not sure why, but at some point I came to the decision that only one song by the B-52's could make the HondoJoe Top 200. So, that meant a showdown between "Love Shack" and "Rock Lobster." (Sorry, "Private Idaho." You are great, too, but you get the bronze medal in this race.)

Both songs are excellent. "Love Shack" has the very best line to sing in an exaggerated Fred Schneider voice: "I've got me a Chrysler, it's as big as a whale and it's about to set sail!!!"

But, "Rock Lobster" has matching towels and the great dog fish, catfish, piranha bit.

Ultimately, I think it came down to the historical significance of "Rock Lobster." I remember when I first heard "Rock Lobster." My reaction was similar to the Steve Martin/Bill Murray skit on Saturday Night Live where they stood on the stage repeatedly saying "What the hell is that thing?" for about five minutes. My initial reaction to "Rock Lobster" was: "What the heck is that song?" It was just so different than anything I had ever heard before. 

And so, the winner is "Rock Lobster." (So hurry up, and bring your juke box money!)

COMING UP NEXT: Not many words rhyme with "harmonica."

153: I Hear Your Name In Certain Circles

153. "Missing You" by John Waite {#1; 6/84} [iTunes? Yes]
Do you know how desperate I've become? No. No, you don't know how desperate I've become. Especially when I'm always catching my breath in certain circles. (Just what are those "certain circles," anyway?)

This is an excellent "wheelhouse" song. (Ah, 1984!) But, thanks to a blip in programming by the fine folks at Apple, this song almost didn't make the HondoJoe Top 200. When I first went through my iTunes list to whittle down the list of songs to 200, I searched through my music collection by artists, going from A to Z. I had a preliminary Top 200 complete, and then I heard this song on the radio. And then I thought, "Wait a minute, I don't think that song is in my Top 200, is it?" I looked, and it wasn't.

So, I looked for the song under "John," because iTunes foolishly thinks everyone's names should be alphabetically listed by the first name. It wasn't there. I looked under "Waite," just in case my iTunes finally decided to alphabetize by last name like the rest of civilized society. Nope, not there. So, I then looked for "Missing You" under the "Song" category, and there it was.

I discovered that some of the songs from "Various Artist" cds were not listed by artist under the "Artist" heading. Very annoying. So, in order to be a completist I then had to go to the "Song" listings and go through every darn song in my entire iTunes collection to make sure I didn't miss any more. (I had. "She's a Beauty" and "Favourite Shirts (Boy Meets Girl)" were unearthed through that search.)

Why am I bringing this up? Two reasons: A) To show that Apple and iTunes are far from perfect. And 2) Because I like to whine.

COMING UP NEXT: Caught between a rock and a hard place.

154: Breathe Deep the Gathering Gloom

154. "Nights In White Satin" by The Moody Blues {Strangely, it only went to #103 when first released in 1968. It was then re-released and went to #2 in 1972.} [iTunes? Yes]

Let's get one thing straight from the get-go here. The version of "Nights In White Satin" that is at #154 on the HondoJoe Top 200 most definitely includes the recited poem (known as "Late Lament") on the end of it.

Yes, the "Nights In White Satin" part of the song is very good, with its "letters I've written, never meaning to send," and its "just what the truth is, I can't say anymore." But, without "Late Lament" added to it, it wouldn't have a chance of making the Top 200. (It would just be another nice "Four Star" song from its era, like The Association's "Cherish" or "Incense and Peppermints" by the Strawberry Alarm Clock.)

No, it's the pretentious, stuffy, (very) British poetry that puts this song on the list! I had a tough time choosing a title for this post. I finally chose "Breathe Deep the Gathering Gloom," mostly because it puts me in mind of a really odiferous fart. (Yes, I am that juvenile.) But, I also strongly considered "Cold-Hearted Orb That Rules the Night," because I'm all for anything that increases our usage of the word "orb." And, I thought about "Senior Citizens Wish They Were Young," just because, well, duh.

Of course, I'm also a fan of the orchestral arrangement on this song. (You can't tell me it didn't have an influence on Jeff Lynne and his ELO cohorts.) And, last but not least, there's that use of the gong to end the song. It's like a wise man once said: "You've gotta like a song if it ends with a gong." (I'm wise, right?)

COMING UP NEXT: Wait for it.

155: Don't Say That Later Will Be Better

155. "Stuck In a Moment and You Can't Get Out of It" by U2 {#52; 9/01} [iTunes? Yes]
I like this song a lot. I really do. I like it so much that when I sat down to figure out the HondoJoe Top 200 songs, I listed this one at #155.

On the other hand, you know how I'm always mentioning songs that just missed out on making the Top 200? Well, if I had it to do over again, this would be one of the songs I would ouster to make room for some of those other songs.

Don't get me wrong, I do really like this song. Just not more than "Mr. Roboto," or "It's Still Rock and Roll To Me," or a large number of other songs that didn't quite make this list. Oops.

(I hope the guys from U2 aren't offended by this. I mean, I wouldn't want to offend Bono, The Edge, Slash, and/or ummm Ringo? John Deacon? Andrew Ridgely? No, wait, it's Michael Clayton, isn't it?)

COMING UP NEXT: Of gloom and orbs.

156: Can't Afford the Rhyme

156. Favourite Shirts (Boy Meets Girl) by Haircut 100 [iTunes? Yes.]
I hear this song and I want to dance in a conga line. I've only danced in a conga line twice in my adult life, at the first two They Might Be Giants concerts I went to. (Both times to the song "No One Knows My Plan.") But, when I hear this song I yearn to conga again.

Also, when I hear this song I think of Ed Grimley, Jr. There is one little section of music in this song, which is repeated often, that brings to mind Ed Grimley, Jr. doing his little happy dance.

Excellent dancing, I must say.

And, now that I think of that, I'm reminded of Snoopy doing his "happy dance."

Happy dance!

Any song that brings to mind so much happy dancing should be in the Top 200, I must say.

(I didn't realize just how nonsensical the lyrics to this song were until I looked them up. And, looking at band leader Nick Heyward, I'm thinking he maybe should have kept trying until at least Haircut 142.)

Haircut 129

COMING UP NEXT: No, not Sonny. No, not Chaz. Something from the other Bono.

157: Anyone?...Anyone?

157. "Anyone For Tennis" by Men At Work [iTunes? Surprisingly, not that I could find.]

Ah, Men At Work! They started off with two exceptional albums, and it looked like they were going to be musical juggernauts. And then, nothing. Well, not nothing. But, nothing noteworthy after those first two albums. It's too bad, because for a time there it looked like they could be Australia's answer to U2 (if U2 had ever asked Australia a question about bands with lots of promise.)

Of course, this song isn't from either of those first two stellar albums. This song was the "B" side to the single of "Who Can It Be Now?" It might also be etched in your memory as a song that the drill team did a routine to back in the day. I was really surprised that I couldn't find it on iTunes. I would have thought there would be some kind of Men At Work compilation or retrospective that would have gobbled up a great song like this. Instead, you'll have to settle for this YouTube clip: "Anyone For Tennis" by Men At Work. (Thank goodness for YouTube!)

COMING UP NEXT: Apparently, the first 99 weren't good enough.

158: A Man In the Mirror Who Has Everything

158. "The Luckiest Man In the World" by Neal McCoy [iTunes? Yes]

Apparently, we are in the middle of the country music section of the HondoJoe Top 200. First we had John Denver, and now we have Neal McCoy.

I came across this song on iTunes while trying to put together a mix tape for The Wife. And, you know what, I really, really like it.

And now, because no one asked for it, my Top 6 McCoys!

6. Colt McCoy

Colt McCoy

I'm not a big fan of University of Texas football. I, like 99.8% of America, have been completely indifferent to his NFL career with the Cleveland Browns. So, why is Colt McCoy on this list? Because "Colt McCoy" is an absolutely AWESOME name!!! Seriously, I'll bet Louis L'Amour is probably rolling over in his grave (he is dead, right?) because he didn't think up the name of "Colt McCoy."

5. Neal McCoy

Neal McCoy

I like his song, and I like his grit. It can't have been easy for a black man to forge a career as a country music star. All I can think of are Charley Pride and Neal McCoy. (Did Snoop Dogg have any cross-over hits?)

4. Van McCoy

Van McCoy

I don't know why, but I never really thought of Van McCoy as a black man, let alone as "The Disco Kid." And, for always and forever I will associate Van McCoy with Coach Pratt. Because Coach Pratt made us do "The Hustle" in junior high.

3. Jack McCoy

Assistant District Attorney Jack McCoy

Over the years, I've probably watched about 11,429 hours of Law & Order. And I know one thing, Perry Mason is pretty darn lucky he never had to go up against Jack McCoy!

2. Hank McCoy

Hank McCoy, aka The Beast

Yes, I am a comic book nerd. And I always liked The Beast. Of course, the incarnation of The Beast that is my favorite is from his brief time with The Avengers in the mid-70s, not so much his years with the X-Men or his time with The Defenders. Or X-Factor. Or his time with the Justice League of America.

1. Leonard "Bones" McCoy

Leonard "Bones" McCoy

Could there have been any other choice? How can you not like a man who grumpily exclaims, "Damnit, Jim, I'm a doctor not an escalator!" (Plus, his nickname is "Bones." How cool is that?) (Okay, not quite as cool as "Colt McCoy," but it'll do.)

COMING UP NEXT: Time to play "B" sides.

159: I Got Cakes On the Griddle

159. "Thank God I'm a Country Boy" by John Denver {#1; 3/75} [iTunes? Yes]
"So, I fiddle when I can, work when I should."

I've written before about a guy I occasionally see at work who looks (and acts) like John Denver. (See: John Denver Guy) He is partially responsible for this song being on this list. Whenever I see him, this song gets stuck in my head for the rest of the day.

But, he's only partially responsible. Even without him, this song is a real hoot. (Possibly even a hootenanny.) City folk just wouldn't understand. I am glad I'm a country boy.

(Yeeha!!!)

COMING UP NEXT: The "Real" McCoy

160: Things Will Get Better

160. "Smile" by PoP Is ArT [iTunes? Yes]
"Everything is gonna be just fine."

I found the group PoP Is ArT one day while fiddling around on the iTunes store. I was looking around at the "If you like _____, then you might like ____." Apparently, if I like ELO, I might like PoP Is ArT.

And I do. I listened to the preview and liked it enough that I bought the album. This is the best song from their album "Epiphany." There are a few other good songs on the album, too. (And some of the songs have more of a Pink Floyd feel than an ELO feel.) "Smile" has a "Mr. Blue Sky"-esque feel to it. And, it has a nice message. (The message being: Smile, things will get better, everything will be just fine.)

It's a good thing I like the song. Because I find the use of capitalization in the group name of "PoP Is ArT" to be more than a bit pretentious. Hey, I'm all for being weird, but not if it seems like your are trying too hard.

COMING UP NEXT: Riddle me this!

161: He Still Has His Sense of Humor

161. "Jack the Lion" by Harvey Danger [iTunes? Yes]
"Jack the Lion roaring his last. Like a vision sent from the past. Bedside crying, holding his hand."

Like Deep Blue Something, Harvey Danger was a "one-hit wonder" band from the mid-90s. Their one hit was a song called "Flagpole Sitta." I tried out their album, and found that I really liked several of the songs. I bought the next couple of albums they put out, too, really liking most of their stuff. The best way I can think of to describe their music is it's like someone took the best parts of Weezer and combined it with the best parts of Green Day. Anyway, I really like their music and would highly recommend any of their three albums.

This song starts out with a driving guitar riff, followed by some good ol' hand claps. (I likes me some hand claps!) And then, it turns into a heartfelt song about a guy going to visit his dad, who is on his death bed.

It takes me back to the spring and early summer of 2006. We knew my Dad was dying. Each time I went up to Arimo to visit him he would be a little bit weaker. It was difficult to see this big, strong man that I had looked up to my whole life getting so weak and feeble. I will always remember the last time I saw him. As I went to leave, he held onto my hand for a few extra seconds, like he knew it would be the last time. I wish he could have lived to see me with my family now. I wish he could have met Amber and been here to share smiles with Roni and Buzz.

This song takes me back to that last day. It has a special place in my heart.

Well, okay, so I know you don't come here to read this expecting sadness and melancholy. You come here to catch a little humor. So, in honor of Harvey Danger, I come to mourn the loss of the name "Harvey."

Is there anyone under the age of 60 named Harvey? I can think of my Uncle Harvey, Harvey Cole, Harvey Korman, and Harvey Kietel. But nobody under the age of 60.

My question is, which is more responsible for the killing off of the name Harvey?
O A. Harvey, the Jimmy Stewart movie about a large imaginary rabbit.
O B. Lee Harvey Oswald.

Personally, I blame Oswald. Not only did he kill JFK, he killed off the name Harvey and the name Oswald. (He might have killed off the name Lee as well, if Lee Majors hadn't been around to hold up the name for heroic goodness!)

COMING UP NEXT: If you chance to meet a frown, do not let it stay.

162: We Both Kinda Liked It

162. "Breakfast At Tiffany's" by Deep Blue Something {#5; 8/95} [iTunes? Yes]
"I said, 'What about Breakfast At Tiffany's?' She said, 'I think I remember the film. And as I recall, I think we both kinda liked it.' And I said, 'Well, that's the one thing we've got.'"

Personally, I've never seen the film. Although, based on a quick perusal of the IMDB site, I think I might kinda like it. Why? Well, I knew Audrey Hepburn was in the movie, but I didn't know who played her love interest. Who, you ask? George Peppard! Yes, that's right, the guy who played boss-man "Face" Hannibal from The A-Team is in this movie!

But wait, there's more! Also featured in Breakfast At Tiffany's? Buddy Ebsen! Yes, that's right, the guy who played Uncle Jesse Clampett in The Beverly Hillbillies is in this movie! And you know who else is in this movie? Mickey Rooney! Yes, that's right! (I think he played "Whiplash" in Iron Man 2. Either that or he was the guy who had those grumpy comedy segments at the end of 60 Minutes. I'm not sure.)

Anyway, with all those peoples in the movie, it's no wonder that the guy and the gal in this song both "kinda liked it."

Deep Blue Something is mostly known as a "one hit wonder" band, their lone hit being this here song. At the time, I liked this song enough that I bought the album on which it was featured. (Probably a "Columbia House" record club choice to pad out my order.) I found that I liked several of the songs on the album, including "Home," "Done," "Song to Make Love To," "Red Light," and the instrumental "Gammer Gerten's Needle." I liked the album so much, that I bought Deep Blue Something's follow-up album. Unfortunately, it only had two song that I liked, "She Is," and "Page Me Wolverine." So, that ended my following of the Deep Blue Something.

Why this song? Well, it is one of the best "sing along" songs you will ever find. My bet is that just from reading the first paragraph of this post the song is probably stuck in your head. Whenever I hear it, I find myself singing along. Whenever The Wife hears this song, she sings along. The chorus repeats itself so often it almost feels like one of those "round" songs that they used to teach us in elementary school. (You know, like "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" and the like.)

Anyway, I dare you to play this song without singing along. Go ahead, try it! I double-dog dare you!!!

COMING UP NEXT: Guitars! Hand-claps! Danger! (And more than a bit of melancholy.)

163: Tell Me Your Troubles and Doubts

163. "Don't You (Forget About Me)" by Simple Minds {#1; 2/85}[iTunes? Yes]
I'm pretty easy. If you want me to like your song, there are three easy ways to get me on your side. 1) Hand-claps. I love hand-claps in songs. 2) A well-timed "Hey!" or "Hey, hey!" And, C) Throw in a good "la-la-la" or "na-na-na." If you put these three things in a song, I am most likely going to like it.

I had finished the first draft of the HondoJoe Top 200, and "Don't You Forget About Me" was on the outside looking in, one of a large number of songs that I deemed worthy of consideration, but not quite good enough to make the list.

And then, one day, I heard it on the radio. It starts out with a great, "Hey, hey, hey, hey!" I found myself singing along through most of the song. And then there's that ending: "La! La-la-la-la. La-la-la-la. La-la-la, la-la-la-la-la-la-la!" How can you not sing along? It was then I decided that, yes, this song had to make the Top 200!

(If Simple Minds had thrown some hand claps in there, we might not be talking about this song until the Top 100.)

I know for many people this song brings to mind the movie The Breakfast Club. Me, not so much. (Although I never understood why Judd Nelson didn't have a better career.) (Ally Sheedy? Never understood why she had as much of a career as she did.)

Another thing I like? Musical questions. And I like the musical question: "As I walk on by, will you call my name?"

Will you call my name?

COMING UP NEXT: Sing along with Audrey Hepburn!

164: Don't Call Me Jughead

164. "I Like Hubcaps" by Brak [iTunes? Not that I can find. An unofficial YouTube link is here: Brak: I Like Hubcaps ]

It's the musical question somebody had to ask: Pineapple upside-down cake. Why's it upside down? WHY'S IT UPSIDE DOWN???

Brak is clearly one of the most under-appreciated comic geniuses of our time! It's like he's on his own little comic cloud. And nobody comes to visit him in his little cloud. (I don't know why. Probably because he's cutting muffins.) (Muffins? Oh baby, pass the butter!)

This is the third song of The Brak Trifecta. ("I Love Beans" didn't quite make the HondoJoe Top 200 cut, but "I Love You, Baby" did.)

Brak likes Charles Nelson Reilly, Veronica and Betty, and all kinds of corn. (ALL KINDS OF CORN!!!)

In fact, I'll go out on a limb and call Brak the funniest alien of all time! Yes, of all time. Who else makes the list? I'm glad you asked. Here are a few funny aliens that come to mind:

7. Jar Jar Binks

Funny has a middle name, and that middle name is "Jar."

6. Galactus

He's the Devourer of Worlds! (And he's got hockey sticks coming out of his hat!)

5. Mork from Ork

Might have been higher on this list if not for "Patch Adams."

4. Alf

Can you ever get tired of cat-eating jokes?

3. Marvin the Martian

It's funny when other people are angry. Very funny, indeed.

2. Mr. Spock

It may not seem logical, but this guy is a hoot!

1. Brak

Don't call him Jughead!

COMING UP NEXT: I forgot.

165. Good Information from a Man Who's Made Mistakes

165: "Tell Her About It" by Billy Joel {#1; 7/83} [iTunes? Yes]

This is just a great song. The lyrics are meaningful and true. The music is peppy and fun. It's just a good, solid song!

I watched the video for the first time in years. (Here's a link: Billy Joel: Tell Her About It) It had been a long time since I had seen the video. It was good to see Rodney Dangerfield again! (It's always good to see Rodney, as long as it's not in high definition.)(No respect, indeed.) It's a pretty fun video. I especially like how Billy inserts himself in as the pizza delivery guy at the pillow fight/slumber party. (In the real world, do attractive girls ever sit around in their underwear and have pillow fights? Or is this just the fantasy of some Hollywood writer that has been used so much it has become a cliche? These are things I want to know.)

On the social commentary front, I'm not sure what to make of the fact that every single one of the Affordables from "BJ and the Affordables" was black. It seems a little iffy. (What, Liberty DeVito wasn't affordable?)

COMING UP NEXT: Charles Nelson Reilly!

166: You Can Look at the Menu...

166. "No One Is to Blame" by Howard Jones {#4; 4/86} [iTunes? Yes]

     GOOD                                                                BAD
Looking at menu                                                  Can't eat
Feeling the cushions                                             Can't have a seat
Dipping foot in the pool                                       Can't have a swim
Building a mansion                                              Can't live in it
You're the fastest runner                                       Not allowed to win
Seeing the summit                                                Can't reach it
The last piece of the puzzle                                  Can't make it fit
Doctor says you're cured                                      Still feel the pain
Aspiration: Cloud                                                 Hope: Drain

With "Eleanor Rigby," I just finished talking about the "lonely songs." Well, I used to consider this my "song for unrequited love."

You say: Unrequited? How can it be unrequited? The lyrics clearly state "And you want her, and she wants you." Sure sounds requited to me!

Well, the thing is, in my mind all of the unrequited loves I had over the years all felt the same way about me that I did about them, they just couldn't act on it. Who were these "unrequited loves" of mine? Well, over my extended time in singledom there were quite a few. Some were real women, some were celebrity women, some were fictional women, and some were imaginary women. (Sorry, but I won't further embarrass myself or any of the women by actually naming names.) (Except for Angela Lansbury, because I don't think she'd mind.)

Anyway, this is yet another song that would have been much higher on the list seven years ago than it is now. (It really is an awesome song. I like Howard Jones. His "Things Can Only Get Better" is also a pretty good honorable mention candidate for the HondoJoe Top 200.)

COMING UP NEXT: Good Information from the Affordables

167: A Sermon That No One Will Hear

167. "Eleanor Rigby" by The Beatles {#11; 8/66} [iTunes? Yes]
"All the lonely people, where do they all come from? All the lonely people, where do they all belong?"

"Eleanor Rigby died in a church and was buried along with her name."

For some reason, I have a soft spot in my heart for "lonely" songs. Songs like "Message In a Bottle" by the Police; "Alone Again, Naturally" by Gilbert O'Sullivan; and "All By Myself" by Eric Carmen. For most of my adult life, these were songs I could wallow in. "Eleanor Rigby" is one of the best of these songs.

Oh, woe is me...I'm so lonely. Just like Eleanor Rigby. And Father MacKenzie.

(Obviously, now that the background sound of my life is the endless happy jabbering of my three year old boy and five year old girl, and I have not only them, but my lovely wife in my life as well, these "lonely" songs don't have quite the same meaning to me as they once did.)

Like "Somebody To Love" by Queen, this song is not nearly as high on this list as it would have been seven years ago.

COMING UP NEXT: I am the fastest runner!

168: Birthday Party, Cheesecake, Jelly Bean, Boom

168. "It's the End of the World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)" by REM {#69; 1/88} [iTunes? Yes]

Speaking of Michael Stipe and REM, here they are. It's a fun little song about the end of the world (as we know it.) And, for even more fun, here's the official "It's the End of the World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine) Picture Quiz:

Match the name of the man named in the song with his picture.
A. Leonard Bernstein
B. Leonid Brevhnev
C. Lenny Bruce
D. Lester Bangs

1.

2.

3.

4.

(Roni came down and looked over my shoulder while I was setting up this little photo quiz. The conversation went like this:
Roni: "Scary."
Me: "What is scary?"
Roni: "All four of those guys are scary looking."
I can't really argue her point. And yet, I feel fine.)

(Brezhnev looks like a Muppet.)

COMING UP NEXT: Wiping the dirt; darning the socks.

169: You're a Rabbit On the Run

169. "Skating Away (On the Thin Ice of a New Day)" by Jethro Tull [iTunes? Yes]
Ah, what would the HondoJoe Top 200 be without a tune from Jethro Tull? Actually, it would have been just fine. We're getting by without Elton John, John Cougar Mellencamp, Bruce Springsteen, Duran Duran and Chilliwack. And yet, here is Jethro Tull.

I did some quick research on Jethro Tull. So here is the "Things I Learned From the Internets" true/false quiz about Jethro Tull:

A. The band is named after a British dude who is credited with inventing the seed drill.
B. Lead singer/flautist Ian Anderson once wrote a book titled "How to Play the Flute for Fame and Fortune." It was a best seller in Great Britain.
C. Ian Anderson didn't know how to play the flute until after the band was formed. He picked up the flute because he couldn't play the guitar as well as Eric Clapton, and he didn't want to be just another "third-rate guitarist."
D. Jethro Tull beat out heavily-favored Metallica for the inaugural Grammy in the category of "Heavy Metal."
E. Due to a typo, their first single was released under the name of "Jethro Toe."
F. During a performance at Wembley Stadium, the band attempted to play "Yankee Doodle Dandy" and were booed off the stage.

As surprising as it is to find Jethro Tull on this list, it's even more surprising that this is the song that made it. Most people would think "Aqualung" might make the list, based on its lyrics of "snot is running down his nose," and panties. Or perhaps "Locomotive Breath," with its driving guitars and "shuffling madness."

Nope. "Skating Away (On the Thin Ice of a New Day)" gets the nod. I hear this song, and I feel like I want to skip. There aren't many songs that make me want to skip. And, it also gets bonus points for featuring one of the two best vocals-that-sound-like-someone-trying-to-start-a-car. (In this song, he sings "A-way-uh-ay-uh-ay-uh-ay-uh-ay-uh-ay-uh-ay" to the point that it sounds like someone is trying to start a car.) (The other vocal-that-sounds-like-someone-trying-to-start-a-car? Michael Stipe in REM's "Man On the Moon" singing, "If you belie-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ve they put a man on the moon.")

(Just for the record, I made up answers "B" and "F." Of course, that doesn't necessarily mean that they are false, just probably so.)

COMING UP NEXT: Leonid Brezhnev!

170: I Wonder Where the Louisiana Sheriff Went

170. "Amos Moses" by Jerry Reed {#8; 10/70} [iTunes? Yes]
"They raised a son who could eat up his weight in groceries. Named him after a man of the cloth. Called him Amos Moses."

Is there a more fun song out there that so prominently features murder, dismemberment, and child abuse? Oh, and alligators, too.

Jerry Reed is a hoot. He's just a fun, fun singer. He's like Mac Davis without the incredible ego. He was the best thing about Smokey and the Bandit. (And that's no small feat.) In fact, here are the ten best things about Smokey and the Bandit:

1. Jerry Reed
2. Jackie Gleason's swearing
3. Dimwitted Junior
4. The song "Eastbound and Down"
5. Bandit's car
6. Jerry Reed's dog
7. Burt Reynold's moustache
8. Paul Williams as Little Enos
9. Burt Reynolds
10. Jerry Reed's truck
Somewhere around #16: Sally Field. (Would the movie have been better with a hotter female lead, like Lynda Carter, Cheryl Ladd, or Susan Saint James? Or did having the cute-but-not-gorgeous Sally Field  in the role keep the movie grounded to reality? Discuss.)

Anyway, I digress. Jerry Reed was able to ride the success of this song into a guest-star appearance on Scooby-Doo, and the rest is history!

"Keep singing, Jerry!"

It's too bad Jerry has passed away. The world was a better place with him in it. And I think we should all remember and take to heart Jerry's last words to Amos Moses: "Make it count, son!" Good advice. Good advice for all. 

COMING UP NEXT: Don't flout the flautist!

171: We Slip, We Stumble

171. "All Fall Down" by Electric Light Orchestra Part II [iTunes? Surprisingly, Yes]
When it comes to "hidden gem" songs, this was one of the hiddenest. (The hideyest? The hiddeneyest?) As far as I knew, this song was never released as a single and never released on an album. Instead, a video of this song was tacked on to the end of a VHS/DVD of the band Electric Light Orchestra Part II live in concert.

In other words, in order to know this song even existed, you would have to be such a major nerd fan of ELO that you had not only heard of ELO Part II, but you actually paid money to own a recording of a bunch of former ELO members and their ELO-wannabe friends performing old ELO songs in concert! (I am that nerd!)

[Quick explanation: ELO Part II is a group formed after the breakup of ELO featuring former members of the group and a few other replacements. (I'll explain in more detail when I finally get around to writing the "Brief (Ha!) History of the Electric Light Orchestra and the ELO Family Tree of Musicians."]

But, a quick iTunes search shows me that the song is now available there. And, of course, with the advent of YouTube any old fool can hear this song and watch the video. (You can be that old fool! See: ELO Part II: All Fall Down) The video itself is pretty unremarkable, but I think the song is great. Singer/songwriter Eric Troyer (a veteran studio session player who sang back-up on Billy Joel's "Uptown Girl," among many other things) has a great voice.

I like the lyrics, too. It's a nice little song about how nobody is perfect. "We slip, we stumble, and we all fall down." (It reminds me a little of Billy Joel's "You're Only Human.")

COMING UP NEXT: Investigating the disappearance of a Louisiana sheriff.

173-172: A Night At the Opera

173. "Rockaria!" by Electric Light Orchestra [iTunes? Yes]
"She's sweet on Wagner. I think she'd die for Beethoven. She loves the way Puccini lays down a tune. And Verdi's always creeping from her room!"

Remember a few songs ago (#185, to be exact) when I was ragging on Jeff Lynne for not having memorable or clever lyrics? Well, that's not the case with this song! This is a fun little hootenanny about a rocker trying to teach an opera singer how to rock and roll.

This song is memorable, clever, and fun. It's got some driving guitars and some sing-along-able lyrics. And it'll leave you "reeling and a-rocking all through the night!" Yeah, you'll be "rocking at the opera house until the break of light!"

172. "Headache" by Frank Black [iTunes? Yes]
"My heart is crammed in my cranium, and it still knows how to pound."

This one definitely falls into the category of "I don't know why I like it, I just do." It was the late 90s and I was trying to, you know, "stay" "hip" and "with it." I was looking for some new bands to follow. I read somewhere that if I liked They Might Be Giants I might also like Frank Black.

So, I bought his CD "Teenager of the Year" at the used CD store. (You remember the used CD stores, don't you? It was right next to the Blockbuster.) I listened to it and found 80% of it not worth a second listen. A couple of the songs were okay. And then there was this one.

Other than it being a good sing-along song, I really, truly have no idea why I like this song this much. I was trying to figure it out, but it was giving me a headache.

COMING UP NEXT: A song from Billy Joel's backup singer and ELO's bass player!

174: No Way I'm Disco Dancing

174. "I'm Too Sexy" by Right Said Fred {#1; 12/91} [iTunes? Yes]
"I'm too sexy for my car. Too sexy for my car. Too sexy by far."

I don't know if I've ever seen the complete video for this song. But, I can't hear this song without a certain, specific, visual image popping into my brain. For years a commercial ran on the television for a music compilation CD from the early 90s. In that much-aired advertisement, they showed a snippet from the video from this song.

At the exact moment that the song lyrics are saying "I'm too sexy for my shirt," the image on the screen is of a man (Fred?) walking down the street as another person (Right Said?) rips the shirt right off of him, exposing the man's (Fred's?) well-muscled chest.

It's a very striking image. At the moment Right Said rips the shirt off of Fred, I can't help but think, "Wow! He is too sexy for his shirt! That dude is buff. (Or is it "buffed?" I'm not sure on the correct usage.)" I'm not ashamed to say it, but when Right Said rips Fred's shirt off I am in awe, and more than a bit envious. (Of Fred. Not Right Said.)

The song itself is pretty darn fun. Apparently, Fred is too sexy for a whole lot of things.

And, aside from all that, this song has one of the best endings of any song. No, not just of the songs on the HondoJoe Top 200, but one of the best endings of any song ever: "I'm too sexy for this song." END.

COMING UP NEXT: A night at the opera.

175. I Really Want to be Overrated

175. "Metal Health (Bang Your Head)" by Quiet Riot {#31; 1/84} [iTunes? Yes]
"I really want to be overrated." This "wheelhouse" song is here to represent all of the heavy metal radio airplay songs of the early 80s. Most notably, "Cum On Feel the Noize" by Quiet Riot and "We're Not Gonna Take It" by Twisted Sister. ("You're all worthless and weak!") And, to a lesser extent, "Round and Round" by Ratt and "Turn Up the Radio" by Autograph. (And to be clear there is a definite distinction for me between the aforementioned early 80s metal bands and the late 80s "hair bands" like Poison, Motley Crue, Cinderella and their ilk.) (I never much cared for their ilk.)

In my opinion, there is always some room for some guitar and screaming/screeching vocals. (But not always enough room for all that hair.)

Now for the odd fact of the day. This song first hit the charts in January of 1984. For over 25 years I thought the name of the song was "Mental Health." It wasn't until just a few years ago that I realized it was "Metal Health." (You know, "Mental" without the "N.") (But not, however, "Health" without the "L.")

I'm not sure whether I should penalize this song for fooling me for so long, or reward it for being so clever that it snuck that one past me for so many years. It's true what they say, "Metal health will drive you mad!" (And by "you" I mean "me.")

COMING UP NEXT: For me, I guess it really depends on the shirt.

180-176: I Work Hard Every Day of My Life

180. "Somebody to Love" by Queen {#13; 11/76} [iTunes? Yes] "They say I've got a lot of water on my brain. I've got no common sense. I've got nobody left to believe."

Seven years ago this song would have been much higher on this list. But, Terri took Freddie's words to heart and found me somebody to love. As a result, Freddie's tune plummeted about a hundred spots on the HondoJoe Top 200 list. (Somehow, I think Freddie would be okay with that.)

179. "I Can't Dance" by Genesis {#7; 2/92} [iTunes? Yes] "She's got a body under that shirt." (Don't we all?)

It's the last hurrah of Phil Collins and Genesis! Oh, there have been a smattering of songs since 1992, but this album was pretty much their last solid contribution to the world of pop music.

This is a very good song, but what is it that pushes it up into the stratosphere known as the HondoJoe Top 200? I can tell you exactly what it is: the "boing" sound effect! It's true, and you know it! (I'm just saying that if Chilliwack had used a few "boing" sound effects in their songs, the HondoJoe Top 200 would be a whole lot more Chilliwacky.)

178. "25 or 6 to 4" by Chicago {#4; 7/70} [iTunes? Yes] It's the King of the Pep Band Songs! This song is here in honor of all the other pep band songs that didn't quite make the list. Songs like: "Rock Around the Clock;" "Notre Dame Victory March;" "Hawaii Five-O;" "NFL Today;" "St. James Infirmary;""Superman Theme;" and "Don't Stop Believing," to name a few.

Tromboners tromboning.

Of course, there is also "Rubberband Man" by the Spinners, which just missed out on making the HondoJoe Top 200. (It was in the first couple of rough drafts, but got bumped for more Billy Joel and ELO songs.) There are a number of similarities between "25" and "Rubberband." They both had great parts showcasing the trombone. And they both are pretty much lyrically incomprehensible. "25 or 6 to 4?" What does that even mean? And, as far as "Rubberband Man" goes, what the hell is that guy doing with the rubber band up around his nose and down around his toes? I just don't get it.

In the end, "25 or 6 to 4" edged out "Rubberband Man" for this spot. I'm not sure why. Maybe it was the "sitting cross legged on the floor" and "getting up to splash my face" lyrics. Maybe it was because it was a bigger hit. Maybe it was because it had a slightly better "trombone slide" part in it. Maybe it was because I actually saw the band Chicago perform this at the University of Utah football stadium on the 4th of July fireworks show one year. (They Might Be Giants had been the opening act.)

Whatever the reason, here it is. (But, spoiler alert, there is one pep band song that is higher than this on the HondoJoe Top 200. But not in its original form.)

177. "Absolutely (Story of a Girl)" by Nine Days {#6; 5/00} [iTunes? Yes] "This is the story of a girl who cried a river and drowned the whole world. And while she looks so good in photographs, I absolutely love her when she smiles."

This one hit wonder gets the double benefit of being from my late-90's "hip and with-it" period (which apparently spilled over a little bit into the year 2000), and from being on one of my first sleep-music mix tapes for Roni. (Looking at it now, that "hip and with-it" period is probably a bit over-represnted in the HondoJoe Top 200.)

176. "Murder (Or a Heart Attack)" by Old 97's [iTunes? Yes] Speaking of that "hip and with-it" era, here's another one!

I really like this band, the Old 97's. Some of their stuff is a bit too country-ish, but the album this song comes from ("Fight Songs,") and the follow-up album ("King of All the World,") are both excellent, featuring great songs like "Crash On the Barrelhead," Oppenheimer,""Let the Idiot Speak,""King of All the World," "Question," and "Book of Poems," to name a few.

This song is a great exercise song. And it gets points for being (at least on some level) about a guy who loses his cat through a hole in his window screen.  ("And the whole damn complicated situation could have been avoided if I'd only shut the window.")

COMING UP NEXT: I really want to be overrated.

185-181: We Could All Use a Little Change

185. "Ma-Ma-Ma Belle" by Electric Light Orchestra [iTunes? Yes]
I never understood why this song wasn't a hit. It's one of the best rock songs by ELO. The song jumps right on you with that great opening guitar riff, and it doesn't let go. Of course, I don't really know what the song is about. As much as I love Jeff Lynne and his musical talent, lyrics were not exactly his strong suit. (Compare the memorable ELO lyrics and memorable Billy Joel lyrics and there really isn't any comparison. Sorry, Jeff.)

Still, this song should have been ELO's first big hit. (I blame the "exposed belly-button album cover.") (Not a good idea.)

Ma-Ma-Ma Belle-E-Button

184. "Under Pressure" by Queen and David Bowie {#29; 11/81}[iTunes? Yes]

All right, stop. Collaborate and listen. This is an excellent song. And it was made even more memorable when Vanilla Ice decided to rip it off. 

But, even without Chilli Vanilli's thievery, what you have here is two of our best dramatic singers, Freddie Mercury and David Bowie, trying to out-dramatacize each other. How could that not be great?

(Bonus points for the finger-snap fade-out.)

183. "Hold Me Now" by The Thompson Twins {#3; 2/84} [iTunes? Yes]

The Thompson Twins always make me think of Mike Meyers' Linda Richman character. "Talk amongst yourselves. I'll give you a topic: The Thompson Twins were neither Thompsons nor twins. Discuss." (Ah, Mike Meyers was a funny, funny man.) (And then he wasn't.)

One of the reasons I like "Hold Me Now" so much is that it is one of my favorite songs for me to break out my Patrick Stewart voice and recite the lyrics as if they were poetry. (Yes, that's right, when I'm alone in my truck I like to pretend I'm Patrick Stewart, and I recite the lyrics of songs as if I were doing a dramatic reading.) (Does this make me weird? No. But it is one of the many manifestations of my oddity.)

"Hold me now. Warm my heart."

(For the record, besides "Hold Me Now," some of the best songs to Patrick Stewart-ize are by Foreigner. "I Want To Know What Love Is," "Juke Box Hero," and "Urgent," in particular.)

182. "All Star" by Smashmouth {#4; 5/99} [iTunes? Yes]

"Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas. I need to get myself away from this place. I said, 'Yeah, what a concept. I could use a little fuel myself, and we could all use a little change."

I'm not sure why I like this song so much. There are many contributing factors: A) The lyrics are clever-ish; B) It's certainly sing-along-able; 3) I like the imagery of the finger and the thumb in the shape of an "L" on my forehead; and D) I like the name "Smashmouth."

181. "Easy Lover" by Phil Collins and Phillipp Bailey {#2; 11/84} [iTunes? Yes]

"Ladies and Gentlemen, let me introduce one of the finest preachers in the state of New York: Reverend Bailey!"

This is most definitely a "Wheelhouse" song. Ah, November of 1984! My freshman year at BYU. This was when Phil Collins was reaching the apex of his power. He could do no wrong! Earlier in the year, "Against All Odds" was a #1 smash! The very successful self-titled "Genesis" album (featuring "That's All" et al.) was a recent success! The use of "In the Air Tonight" had just made Miami Vice (and Phil himself) incredibly cool! The "No Jacket Required" album was about to launch, with its numerous #1 and Top Ten hits! (You know, the album with the close-up picture of his face on the cover.) And in about a year and a half, the album "Invisible Touch" would land Genesis five songs in the Top 4 of the Billboard charts!

Yes, Phil Collins could do no wrong!

And then he made the movie Buster. And it was all downhill from there.


COMING UP NEXT: Sitting Cross-Legged On the Floor


 

190-186: I Need a Banker to Finance My Home

190. "Real Live Girl" by Matt Monro [iTunes? Yes]
"Pardon me miss, but I've never done this with a real, live girl. Straight off the farm with an actual arm full of real live girl." (Hmmm...I wonder why these particular lyrics would be meaningful to me when I was 40 years old?)

Other fun lyrics: "Pardon me if your affectionate squeeze fogs up my goggles and buckles my knees." And: "Speaking of miracles, this must be it! Just when I'd started to learn how to knit."

I put this song on my first mix-tape for The Wife back when she was just barely The Girlfriend. For some reason, it spoke to me.

I had never heard of Matt Monro until I started collecting records from Deseret Industries and other thrift stores. He has a nice baritone voice that is within the range that I am best able to (attempt to) sing along with. Matt is one of those old-style crooners that roamed the free ranges of the 1950s and 1960s. You might say he is Sinatra-esque. Or, you may not say that. If you don't, I will: Matt Monro is Sinatra-esque.

Matt Monro: Sinatra-esque crooner

(Plus, he looks a little bit like my brother-in-law Jeff.)


189. "Self Esteem" by The Offspring {#45; 9/94} [iTunes? Yes]
I like this song and I use this song. I use it often. Whenever there is something on the television or movie screen that I don't want to see or hear (like a preview for a show I'm really interested in), I close my eyes, cover my ears, and sing the opening refrain from this song: "La, la, la-la-la. La, la, la-la-la." You could say I use this song as my personal "Spoiler Alert Prevention" alarm.

This song is from my mid/90s "attempt" to stay "with it" period.

188. "Sky High" by Jigsaw {#3; 8/75} [iTunes? Yes]
"You, you've blown it all sky high. By telling me a lie. Without a reason why. You've blown it all sky high."

I really like the big, dramatic, theatrical/orchestral opening to this song. It's just great. And then they jump right in a nice use of the echo-echo-echo vocals-vocals-vocals effect.

When I think of Jigsaw, my older sister's K-Tel records come to mind. (Ah, K-Tel! Now, that's what we called music!) There was a tiny picture of the guys from Jigsaw on one of the K-Tel albums. The lead singer (I assume it was the lead singer, because he was the most awesome-ish looking member of the band) had a wide-lapel 1970's leisure suit and big Grandma Alice/Elton John-ish glasses! And, he looked a little bit like Alan Alda.

Alan Alda sings!!!

Yes, Jigsaw was cool!!!

187. "Back On the Borderline" by Midnight Oil [iTunes? Yes]
Speaking of lead singers who have to be the lead singer, here's Peter Garrett and Midnight Oil. If you were to line up all the guys from Midnight Oil, it would be blatantly obvious that the giant, bald-headed man flailing about is the lead singer. (Okay, 95% chance he's the lead singer, 3% chance he's the drummer, and 2% chance he's an insane asylum escapee who wandered onto the stage.)

"Back On the Borderline" is a great, rocking tune. It's an excellent exercise song. It's got the driving guitars and screaming Peter Garrett vocals make Midnight Oil so Aussie-ly awesome.

186. "Close to the Borderline" by Billy Joel [iTunes? Yes]
"Back On the Borderline" was close to the borderline of being the best song to feature "borderline" in the title. But, "Close to the Borderline" was closer.

"I need a doctor for my pressure pills. I need a lawyer for my medical bills. I need a banker to finance my home, but I need security to back my loan."

"I got remote control and a color t.v. I don't change channels so they must change me."

"I get attacked by a kid with stereo sound. I don't want to hear it, but he won't turn it down."

Wow. Them's some great lyrics. Looking at the words a little more closely now, I'm thinking this song should be a lot higher on the list. Oops.

My only real question is: What the heck is "a buck three-eighty?"

COMING UP NEXT: Her finger and her thumb in the shape of an "L" on her forehead.

200-191: It Will Cost You a Dollar First

Here we are. Finally. The HondoJoe Top 200!

200: "I'm a Yankee Doodle Dandy" by Genius Entertainment [Available on iTunes? Not that I can find. (They changed the search functions on iTunes, and the new ones, of course, suck.)]
One day, The Wife thought she found a bargain. It was a three-cd set of kids songs called "123 Favorite Kid's Songs." (And when it says "123," it doesn't mean 1-2-3. It means one hundred and twenty three songs!) And, it was quite a bargain. The 123 songs contained a wide variety of children's songs that we all learned as kids, and all kids have been learning (sometimes for no apparent reason) for generations. Songs like "There's a Hole In My Bucket," "I've Been Working On the Railroad," "The Hokey Pokey," "The Farmer In the Dell," and so forth.

Roni loved these cds. A little too much. She started requesting them every night. Especially the cd that began with "Yankee Doodle." Not content with just listening to it every night, Roni began singing it. All the time! Not content with just listening to it and singing it, she tried to get everyone else to sing it, too. The conversation would go like this:

Roni: "Do you want to sing "Yankee Doodle?"
Everyone: "No!!!"
Roni (without waiting for or paying attention to anyone's answer): "It goes like this...." (And then, of course, she would start singing it.)

The Yankee Doodle Siege lasted for about six months. Eventually, the cd got "misplaced" for a while. To this day my sister-in-law Kimmie would probably punch you in the face if you walked up to her and started singing "Yankee Doodle." But, enough time has passed since The Siege that when I hear the song it makes me think of Roni and her funny little funneryisms. And I like it.

199: "Oh Yeah" by Yello {#51, 8/87 (When applicable, I will be including the peak chart performance by the song, according to the 2006 edition of the book Top Pop Singles by Joel Whitburn, a book a highly reccommend to anyone who likes music and likes to waste time. It is a treasure-trove of mostly useless information. Also, I will include the month and year that the song first hit the charts.)}[iTunes? Yes.]

Here's another song that is on this list because of Roni. Don't get me wrong, it's a good, fun song, and on its own merits it would have been in the "honorable mention" range along with with other quirky 80s songs like "Mexican Radio" and "Turning Japanese." But, after hearing the song probably only once, Roni one day just started doing the "cha-chikka-chikkaw" part, in a cute little whisper-sing. So, for about a week we would listen to the song and serenade each other with a "Bow-Bow" here and a "chikka-chikkaw" there. Sometimes even Buzz would join in with us.

(Also, Ferris Beuhler is a pretty funny movie.)

198: "If I Had $1,000,000" by Barenaked Ladies [iTunes? Yes]
"If I had a million dollars (if I had a million dollars) I would buy you some art (a Picasso, or a Garfunkel.)" That was the line that helped move this song from "amusing" to "clever and funny" for me. Also, the line "Not a real green dress, that's cruel" struck a chord with the guy who owned a green suit hated by Aunt Maxie.

Plus, can you have too much Barenaked Ladies? Their album "Gordon," featuring this and other great songs like "Enid," "Grade 9," and "Be My Yoko Ono" made my Top 40 albums list. And their children's album "Snack Time" is a favorite around the house.

197. "Do You Like Waffles? (Sweet Suite)" by Parry Gripp [iTunes? Yes]
Any song that allows you to victoriously shout "WAFFLES!!!" is okay in my book! The whole family knows and loves this song, and we sing it whenever we have waffles. (Or pancakes.) (Or french toast.)

And, for the purposes of the HondoJoe Top 200, I'm including all five songs from the "Do You Like Waffles?" Sweet Suite as one song. The other parts are, "Waffles Are Outrageous," "Dippin'," "Got To Dip It," and "Everyone's Dippin'." They flow together as one outrageous homage to waffles. (And pancakes.) (And french toast.)

196. "Brontosaurus" by The Move [iTunes? No. But you can find the song on YouTube here: Brontosaurus by The Move ]
"She can really do the brontosaurus. She can scream the heebie-jeebies for us." (You have to like any song with "heebie-jeebies" in the lyrics.) This is my favorite song by The Move. (The Move was the precursor to ELO. Don't worry, I'll clue you in more about The Move when I give you "The Brief (Ha!) History of the Electric Light Orchestra Family Musical Tree" in a little while.)

The song starts out with slow, deep, plodding guitars that put one in mind of an actual brontosaurus stomping around. You know, if there ever had been such a thing as a brontosaurus. Apparently, it's an extinct animal that never existed. From the "Things I Learned from the Internets" File, what we always thought of as a brontosaurus was actually an apatosaurus all along. I guess they figured this out a long time ago, but no one bothered to tell anyone in the Idaho education system. (The next thing you know they'll be saying Pluto isn't a planet!)

Anyway, it's a cool song. It's thick and chunky most of the way through, then it speeds up at the end and really gets its groove on. With apologies to Was (and (not Was)) this is the best song ever made about a dinosaur.

195. "Buddha's Delight" by Haley Bennett [iTunes? Yes, but as an "Album Only" track. YouTube it here: Buddha's Delight by Haley Bennett]
When I listed what makes a song qualify for the HondoJoe Top 200, I forgot to mention one key category: hidden gems. There's just something about a great song that no one else seems to know about. (Kind of like how Billy Joel fans think about "Scenes From an Italian Restaurant" or "Summer, Highland Falls.") Well, this is a hidden gem song.

It also falls squarely into the "I don't know why I like it, I just do" category, too.

This song is from the soundtrack to the movie Music and Lyrics, which stars Hugh Grant as a other-guy-from-Wham!-ish, mostly washed-up 80s musician, and Drew Barrymore as his plant-waterer/girlfriend/songwriting partner. (And yes, I know that the other guy from Wham! is Andrew Ridgely. It just sounds more fun to say it the other way.) I can't recommend the movie, but it does have a few good moments. (Especially the music video for Grant's character's 80s "hit," "Pop Goes My Heart.") (Pay special attention to the ugly drummer in the background.)

Anyway, the plot, such as it is, features Hugh and Drew getting hired to write a song for a Britney Spears-esque singer, played by Haley Bennett. This is one of her fake "hits" from the movie. (That's "hits" with an "h.")

I'm not sure why I like this song so much. It's a catchy, fun little pop song. It's got some nice guitar work and an oddly timed "La-la-la" or two. (I'm always a sucker for a good "La-la-la" or "Na-na-na.")

194. "Eye of the Tiger" by Survivor {#1, 6/82} [iTunes? Yes]
"And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night." (Nice way of slipping your group's name into the lyrics of the song!) (THANKS!)

Of course, this gets some nostalgia points as a pep band song. Plus, some good points for the driving guitar riff. When it came out, this was an awesome, rocking song! Little did we know that Survivor would soon follow the path previously taken by REO Speedwagon, Chicago, and Foreigner: The Path of the Sappy Ballads. (Dennis DeYoung tried to drag Styx down that same path, but met some serious resistance from Tommy Shaw and James JY Young.)

Bonus points for any song that brings to mind a sweaty Sylvester Stallone. And a sweaty Mr. T. (I pity the fool!)

193. "I Love You, Baby" by Brak [iTunes? Can't find it. YouTube it here: "I Love You, Baby" by Brak] "Someone left a cake out in the rain (Oh no!) I was going to eat that cake, but now it's all wet and I don't think I want any!" Gotta love Brak! (Especially when he refers to himself as "Braky-Wacky.")

This song also was on the second or third mix-tape I made for The Wife. (And she still married me!)

And yes, I like your Aunt Louise.

192. "Shine" by Collective Soul {#11; 5/94} [iTunes? Yes] I didn't follow music much in the early 1990s. It seemed like it was all either parachute-pants wearing buffoons (MC Hammer, Vanilla Ice, Milli Vanilli) or dirty, plaid-wearing Debby Downers in need of a good shower and some Prozac. Not great times for music.

It slowly got better, and somewhere in the mid to late 90s I started to get sucked in to the "alternative" music that was starting to catch on. I think part of it was a desperate attempt for me to stay "hip" and "with-it." ("Stay," of course, is the wrong word there. I was never "hip" or "with-it," not even when being "with-it" was hip.)

One of the groups I glommed onto at that time was Collective Soul. They weren't really "alternative." They were just a good, solid rock and roll band. They had good, catchy songs and weren't afraid to use a guitar. I especially liked "Shine," their first big hit, because it has a good message that they slowly and methodically pound into your head.

(I also like it when the guy says, "Yeah" throughout the song.)

191. "She's a Beauty" by The Tubes {#10; 4/83} [iTunes? Yes] "Step right up and don't be shy, because you will not believe your eyes." "She'll give you every penny's worth, but it will cost you a dollar first."

This is definitely a "Wheelhouse" song: synthesizers and guitars meshing together as they could only in 1983!

I wonder why we didn't hear more from The Tubes. I can only think of four songs by them, and I really like all four. Besides this song there is "Don't Want to Wait," "Talk To Ya Later," and "Dancin'," the song they do with Olivia Newton-John from the Xanadu soundtrack, which is by far the best non-ELO song on the Xanadu soundtrack. (Faint praise, but praise nonetheless.)

COMING UP NEXT: I need a doctor for my pressure pills. I need a lawyer for my medical bills.