170: I Wonder Where the Louisiana Sheriff Went

170. "Amos Moses" by Jerry Reed {#8; 10/70} [iTunes? Yes]
"They raised a son who could eat up his weight in groceries. Named him after a man of the cloth. Called him Amos Moses."

Is there a more fun song out there that so prominently features murder, dismemberment, and child abuse? Oh, and alligators, too.

Jerry Reed is a hoot. He's just a fun, fun singer. He's like Mac Davis without the incredible ego. He was the best thing about Smokey and the Bandit. (And that's no small feat.) In fact, here are the ten best things about Smokey and the Bandit:

1. Jerry Reed
2. Jackie Gleason's swearing
3. Dimwitted Junior
4. The song "Eastbound and Down"
5. Bandit's car
6. Jerry Reed's dog
7. Burt Reynold's moustache
8. Paul Williams as Little Enos
9. Burt Reynolds
10. Jerry Reed's truck
Somewhere around #16: Sally Field. (Would the movie have been better with a hotter female lead, like Lynda Carter, Cheryl Ladd, or Susan Saint James? Or did having the cute-but-not-gorgeous Sally Field  in the role keep the movie grounded to reality? Discuss.)

Anyway, I digress. Jerry Reed was able to ride the success of this song into a guest-star appearance on Scooby-Doo, and the rest is history!

"Keep singing, Jerry!"

It's too bad Jerry has passed away. The world was a better place with him in it. And I think we should all remember and take to heart Jerry's last words to Amos Moses: "Make it count, son!" Good advice. Good advice for all. 

COMING UP NEXT: Don't flout the flautist!

171: We Slip, We Stumble

171. "All Fall Down" by Electric Light Orchestra Part II [iTunes? Surprisingly, Yes]
When it comes to "hidden gem" songs, this was one of the hiddenest. (The hideyest? The hiddeneyest?) As far as I knew, this song was never released as a single and never released on an album. Instead, a video of this song was tacked on to the end of a VHS/DVD of the band Electric Light Orchestra Part II live in concert.

In other words, in order to know this song even existed, you would have to be such a major nerd fan of ELO that you had not only heard of ELO Part II, but you actually paid money to own a recording of a bunch of former ELO members and their ELO-wannabe friends performing old ELO songs in concert! (I am that nerd!)

[Quick explanation: ELO Part II is a group formed after the breakup of ELO featuring former members of the group and a few other replacements. (I'll explain in more detail when I finally get around to writing the "Brief (Ha!) History of the Electric Light Orchestra and the ELO Family Tree of Musicians."]

But, a quick iTunes search shows me that the song is now available there. And, of course, with the advent of YouTube any old fool can hear this song and watch the video. (You can be that old fool! See: ELO Part II: All Fall Down) The video itself is pretty unremarkable, but I think the song is great. Singer/songwriter Eric Troyer (a veteran studio session player who sang back-up on Billy Joel's "Uptown Girl," among many other things) has a great voice.

I like the lyrics, too. It's a nice little song about how nobody is perfect. "We slip, we stumble, and we all fall down." (It reminds me a little of Billy Joel's "You're Only Human.")

COMING UP NEXT: Investigating the disappearance of a Louisiana sheriff.

173-172: A Night At the Opera

173. "Rockaria!" by Electric Light Orchestra [iTunes? Yes]
"She's sweet on Wagner. I think she'd die for Beethoven. She loves the way Puccini lays down a tune. And Verdi's always creeping from her room!"

Remember a few songs ago (#185, to be exact) when I was ragging on Jeff Lynne for not having memorable or clever lyrics? Well, that's not the case with this song! This is a fun little hootenanny about a rocker trying to teach an opera singer how to rock and roll.

This song is memorable, clever, and fun. It's got some driving guitars and some sing-along-able lyrics. And it'll leave you "reeling and a-rocking all through the night!" Yeah, you'll be "rocking at the opera house until the break of light!"

172. "Headache" by Frank Black [iTunes? Yes]
"My heart is crammed in my cranium, and it still knows how to pound."

This one definitely falls into the category of "I don't know why I like it, I just do." It was the late 90s and I was trying to, you know, "stay" "hip" and "with it." I was looking for some new bands to follow. I read somewhere that if I liked They Might Be Giants I might also like Frank Black.

So, I bought his CD "Teenager of the Year" at the used CD store. (You remember the used CD stores, don't you? It was right next to the Blockbuster.) I listened to it and found 80% of it not worth a second listen. A couple of the songs were okay. And then there was this one.

Other than it being a good sing-along song, I really, truly have no idea why I like this song this much. I was trying to figure it out, but it was giving me a headache.

COMING UP NEXT: A song from Billy Joel's backup singer and ELO's bass player!

174: No Way I'm Disco Dancing

174. "I'm Too Sexy" by Right Said Fred {#1; 12/91} [iTunes? Yes]
"I'm too sexy for my car. Too sexy for my car. Too sexy by far."

I don't know if I've ever seen the complete video for this song. But, I can't hear this song without a certain, specific, visual image popping into my brain. For years a commercial ran on the television for a music compilation CD from the early 90s. In that much-aired advertisement, they showed a snippet from the video from this song.

At the exact moment that the song lyrics are saying "I'm too sexy for my shirt," the image on the screen is of a man (Fred?) walking down the street as another person (Right Said?) rips the shirt right off of him, exposing the man's (Fred's?) well-muscled chest.

It's a very striking image. At the moment Right Said rips the shirt off of Fred, I can't help but think, "Wow! He is too sexy for his shirt! That dude is buff. (Or is it "buffed?" I'm not sure on the correct usage.)" I'm not ashamed to say it, but when Right Said rips Fred's shirt off I am in awe, and more than a bit envious. (Of Fred. Not Right Said.)

The song itself is pretty darn fun. Apparently, Fred is too sexy for a whole lot of things.

And, aside from all that, this song has one of the best endings of any song. No, not just of the songs on the HondoJoe Top 200, but one of the best endings of any song ever: "I'm too sexy for this song." END.

COMING UP NEXT: A night at the opera.

175. I Really Want to be Overrated

175. "Metal Health (Bang Your Head)" by Quiet Riot {#31; 1/84} [iTunes? Yes]
"I really want to be overrated." This "wheelhouse" song is here to represent all of the heavy metal radio airplay songs of the early 80s. Most notably, "Cum On Feel the Noize" by Quiet Riot and "We're Not Gonna Take It" by Twisted Sister. ("You're all worthless and weak!") And, to a lesser extent, "Round and Round" by Ratt and "Turn Up the Radio" by Autograph. (And to be clear there is a definite distinction for me between the aforementioned early 80s metal bands and the late 80s "hair bands" like Poison, Motley Crue, Cinderella and their ilk.) (I never much cared for their ilk.)

In my opinion, there is always some room for some guitar and screaming/screeching vocals. (But not always enough room for all that hair.)

Now for the odd fact of the day. This song first hit the charts in January of 1984. For over 25 years I thought the name of the song was "Mental Health." It wasn't until just a few years ago that I realized it was "Metal Health." (You know, "Mental" without the "N.") (But not, however, "Health" without the "L.")

I'm not sure whether I should penalize this song for fooling me for so long, or reward it for being so clever that it snuck that one past me for so many years. It's true what they say, "Metal health will drive you mad!" (And by "you" I mean "me.")

COMING UP NEXT: For me, I guess it really depends on the shirt.

180-176: I Work Hard Every Day of My Life

180. "Somebody to Love" by Queen {#13; 11/76} [iTunes? Yes] "They say I've got a lot of water on my brain. I've got no common sense. I've got nobody left to believe."

Seven years ago this song would have been much higher on this list. But, Terri took Freddie's words to heart and found me somebody to love. As a result, Freddie's tune plummeted about a hundred spots on the HondoJoe Top 200 list. (Somehow, I think Freddie would be okay with that.)

179. "I Can't Dance" by Genesis {#7; 2/92} [iTunes? Yes] "She's got a body under that shirt." (Don't we all?)

It's the last hurrah of Phil Collins and Genesis! Oh, there have been a smattering of songs since 1992, but this album was pretty much their last solid contribution to the world of pop music.

This is a very good song, but what is it that pushes it up into the stratosphere known as the HondoJoe Top 200? I can tell you exactly what it is: the "boing" sound effect! It's true, and you know it! (I'm just saying that if Chilliwack had used a few "boing" sound effects in their songs, the HondoJoe Top 200 would be a whole lot more Chilliwacky.)

178. "25 or 6 to 4" by Chicago {#4; 7/70} [iTunes? Yes] It's the King of the Pep Band Songs! This song is here in honor of all the other pep band songs that didn't quite make the list. Songs like: "Rock Around the Clock;" "Notre Dame Victory March;" "Hawaii Five-O;" "NFL Today;" "St. James Infirmary;""Superman Theme;" and "Don't Stop Believing," to name a few.

Tromboners tromboning.

Of course, there is also "Rubberband Man" by the Spinners, which just missed out on making the HondoJoe Top 200. (It was in the first couple of rough drafts, but got bumped for more Billy Joel and ELO songs.) There are a number of similarities between "25" and "Rubberband." They both had great parts showcasing the trombone. And they both are pretty much lyrically incomprehensible. "25 or 6 to 4?" What does that even mean? And, as far as "Rubberband Man" goes, what the hell is that guy doing with the rubber band up around his nose and down around his toes? I just don't get it.

In the end, "25 or 6 to 4" edged out "Rubberband Man" for this spot. I'm not sure why. Maybe it was the "sitting cross legged on the floor" and "getting up to splash my face" lyrics. Maybe it was because it was a bigger hit. Maybe it was because it had a slightly better "trombone slide" part in it. Maybe it was because I actually saw the band Chicago perform this at the University of Utah football stadium on the 4th of July fireworks show one year. (They Might Be Giants had been the opening act.)

Whatever the reason, here it is. (But, spoiler alert, there is one pep band song that is higher than this on the HondoJoe Top 200. But not in its original form.)

177. "Absolutely (Story of a Girl)" by Nine Days {#6; 5/00} [iTunes? Yes] "This is the story of a girl who cried a river and drowned the whole world. And while she looks so good in photographs, I absolutely love her when she smiles."

This one hit wonder gets the double benefit of being from my late-90's "hip and with-it" period (which apparently spilled over a little bit into the year 2000), and from being on one of my first sleep-music mix tapes for Roni. (Looking at it now, that "hip and with-it" period is probably a bit over-represnted in the HondoJoe Top 200.)

176. "Murder (Or a Heart Attack)" by Old 97's [iTunes? Yes] Speaking of that "hip and with-it" era, here's another one!

I really like this band, the Old 97's. Some of their stuff is a bit too country-ish, but the album this song comes from ("Fight Songs,") and the follow-up album ("King of All the World,") are both excellent, featuring great songs like "Crash On the Barrelhead," Oppenheimer,""Let the Idiot Speak,""King of All the World," "Question," and "Book of Poems," to name a few.

This song is a great exercise song. And it gets points for being (at least on some level) about a guy who loses his cat through a hole in his window screen.  ("And the whole damn complicated situation could have been avoided if I'd only shut the window.")

COMING UP NEXT: I really want to be overrated.

185-181: We Could All Use a Little Change

185. "Ma-Ma-Ma Belle" by Electric Light Orchestra [iTunes? Yes]
I never understood why this song wasn't a hit. It's one of the best rock songs by ELO. The song jumps right on you with that great opening guitar riff, and it doesn't let go. Of course, I don't really know what the song is about. As much as I love Jeff Lynne and his musical talent, lyrics were not exactly his strong suit. (Compare the memorable ELO lyrics and memorable Billy Joel lyrics and there really isn't any comparison. Sorry, Jeff.)

Still, this song should have been ELO's first big hit. (I blame the "exposed belly-button album cover.") (Not a good idea.)

Ma-Ma-Ma Belle-E-Button

184. "Under Pressure" by Queen and David Bowie {#29; 11/81}[iTunes? Yes]

All right, stop. Collaborate and listen. This is an excellent song. And it was made even more memorable when Vanilla Ice decided to rip it off. 

But, even without Chilli Vanilli's thievery, what you have here is two of our best dramatic singers, Freddie Mercury and David Bowie, trying to out-dramatacize each other. How could that not be great?

(Bonus points for the finger-snap fade-out.)

183. "Hold Me Now" by The Thompson Twins {#3; 2/84} [iTunes? Yes]

The Thompson Twins always make me think of Mike Meyers' Linda Richman character. "Talk amongst yourselves. I'll give you a topic: The Thompson Twins were neither Thompsons nor twins. Discuss." (Ah, Mike Meyers was a funny, funny man.) (And then he wasn't.)

One of the reasons I like "Hold Me Now" so much is that it is one of my favorite songs for me to break out my Patrick Stewart voice and recite the lyrics as if they were poetry. (Yes, that's right, when I'm alone in my truck I like to pretend I'm Patrick Stewart, and I recite the lyrics of songs as if I were doing a dramatic reading.) (Does this make me weird? No. But it is one of the many manifestations of my oddity.)

"Hold me now. Warm my heart."

(For the record, besides "Hold Me Now," some of the best songs to Patrick Stewart-ize are by Foreigner. "I Want To Know What Love Is," "Juke Box Hero," and "Urgent," in particular.)

182. "All Star" by Smashmouth {#4; 5/99} [iTunes? Yes]

"Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas. I need to get myself away from this place. I said, 'Yeah, what a concept. I could use a little fuel myself, and we could all use a little change."

I'm not sure why I like this song so much. There are many contributing factors: A) The lyrics are clever-ish; B) It's certainly sing-along-able; 3) I like the imagery of the finger and the thumb in the shape of an "L" on my forehead; and D) I like the name "Smashmouth."

181. "Easy Lover" by Phil Collins and Phillipp Bailey {#2; 11/84} [iTunes? Yes]

"Ladies and Gentlemen, let me introduce one of the finest preachers in the state of New York: Reverend Bailey!"

This is most definitely a "Wheelhouse" song. Ah, November of 1984! My freshman year at BYU. This was when Phil Collins was reaching the apex of his power. He could do no wrong! Earlier in the year, "Against All Odds" was a #1 smash! The very successful self-titled "Genesis" album (featuring "That's All" et al.) was a recent success! The use of "In the Air Tonight" had just made Miami Vice (and Phil himself) incredibly cool! The "No Jacket Required" album was about to launch, with its numerous #1 and Top Ten hits! (You know, the album with the close-up picture of his face on the cover.) And in about a year and a half, the album "Invisible Touch" would land Genesis five songs in the Top 4 of the Billboard charts!

Yes, Phil Collins could do no wrong!

And then he made the movie Buster. And it was all downhill from there.


COMING UP NEXT: Sitting Cross-Legged On the Floor