Elmo & Patsy: Hit and Run

 Nuance. Subtlety. Understatement. These are three words that don't apply to the music of Elmo & Patsy.

"Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer" was first released in 1979, and with each subsequent Christmas season, the song became more widely known until it eventually became a Christmas standard, like "Santa Baby" and that chestnut song.

Despite being perennially played, the song only charted once, reaching #87 in 1998. Here's the video:

As subtle as a nutcracker's jaws.

I've got to admit, the video puts a little different spin on Grandpa's relationship with Cousin Mel than I would have guessed from just listening to the song. Watching football and playing cards, I was picturing more of a Vic Tayback-ish Cousin Mel, not a woman with cleavage for Grandpa to ogle.

Elmo and Patsy got divorced in 1985. (I'm not sure if Cousin Mel had anything to do with it.) After the divorce, Elmo Shropshire continued to record under the name of Dr. Elmo. (He is a veterinarian.) He even re-recorded "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer" without his ex-wife, Patsy Trigg.

Dr. Elmo has attempted many times to score another hit, but without any success. In 1992 he tried to capitalize on the Grandma theme once again with a song called "Grandma's Killer Fruitcake," It was not a popular song.

Ah, the nuance!

But, Dr. Elmo wasn't satisfied with Grandma-related holiday songs. No, he decided to try his hand at a heartfelt, feel-good patriotic holiday ballad. It's a song called "Christmas All Across the USA."

Beware the giant floating head!

When listening to this song, it doesn't take long to come to the realization that Dr. Elmo has a singing voice meant for novelty songs. (Sadly, Dr. Elmo is no Lee Greenwood.) (I doubt Patsy is, either.)

VERDICT: Oh, hell no! Not even Cousin Mel thinks Elmo & Patsy should have another hit.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                

Alan O'Day: She Said, "Whaaaat?"

 Imaginary lovers never turn you down. (When all the others turn you away, they're around.) 

That's what the Atlanta Rhythm Section says, anyway. (Without the parenthesis. I added the parenthesis.) (I do that occasionally.) And, apparently it's a philosophy that Alan O'Day wholeheartedly agrees with. 

In 1977, Alan O'Day took his ode to making love to figments of his imagination, "Undercover Angel," all the way to #1 on the Billboard charts. It seems his song struck a chord with enough of the lonely record-buying public to outsell every other song in the land for at least one week.

The call him the dream man. (But only because he dreams a lot.)

Really, who among us hasn't dreamed of a fantasy woman demandingly shouting, "love me, love me, love me!"

Oddly enough, this wasn't the first time Alan O'Day had written a number one hit about a person with an imaginary lover. He wrote the song "Angie Baby," which Helen Reddy topped the charts with in 1974. It's about a crazy girl who dances with imaginary lovers in her bedroom at night, until one day when her creepy, peeping-tom neighbor comes over to rape her, but she somehow manages to shrink him down so small that he now lives in her radio. (No, I am not drunk, and no, I did not make up that last sentence.) You don't believe me? Here's Helen to tell you the story:

Living in a world of make believe? Well, maybe.

(Somehow this song goes to #1 in 1974, but that same year "Piano Man" peaks at #25. What exactly were they smoking in 1974?)

So, with two #1 hits about imaginary lovers under his belt (so to speak), the question becomes can Alan O'Day write a hit that doesn't tap into his lonely fantasies? Apparently not. Alan's follow up to "Undercover Angel" was a disturbing little song called "Started Out Dancing, Ended Up Making Love." The song includes these lovely lyrics:

"I can see her body

Pushing at her clothes

Dancing up a sweat now

And I wonder if she knows

That I want her so bad I'm in physical pain

My imagination taking over again

Started out dancing

Ended up making love

That's what I'm thinking of"

"Started Out Dancing, Ended Up Making Love" sputtered out at #73 on the charts, proving that there is a limit to the amount of deluded fantasies people are willing to put up with. (Unless Mr. Roarke and Tattoo are involved.) 

After that, Alan O'Day never made it on the charts in the United States again, although he did have a minor hit in Australia with a song called "Skinny Girls." ("Skinny Girls" sounds like someone put "Short People," Dr. Dimento, and anorexia together in a blender and hit puree.) 

But just because he didn't chart again, it doesn't mean his musical career was over. Alan O'Day would go on to co-write almost 100 songs for the television show Muppet Babies, including a song titled "Good Things Happen In the Dark," which, thankfully, does not include any verses about imaginary sexual partners.

VERDICT: Deservedly a one-hit wonder. (Although that's not saying he didn't imagine he had more hits, many of which he might have made love to.)