99: Why Was He So Nervous?

99. "Question" by Rhett Miller [iTunes? Yes] {Official video: nope}

This is a song about a marriage proposal. "Someday somebody's gonna ask you, a question that you should say 'yes' to once in your life. Maybe tonight I've got a question for you." I put this song on the second mix-tape I made for my wife (the first one I made for her after we were engaged.) The song was also used in an episode of Scrubs, where Turk proposes to Carla.

Aside from being a wonderfully sappy, romantic song, there are three topics this song brings up that I feel I must discuss:

1) Lead singers of groups who also have solo careers
Rhett Miller is the lead singer of the group the Old 97s. (They were featured on this list way back at #176 with the song "Murder or a Heart Attack.") I think I have four Old 97s albums (two of which I really like) and two solo albums by lead singer Rhett Miller (both of which I like.)

But, neither the lead singer nor the group ever got famous enough for it to be a "Rhett Miller and the Old 97s" situation like it did with "Sting and the Police," "Phil Collins and Genesis," "Lionel Richie and the Commodores," "George Michael and WHAM!," or "Peaches and Herb." Because that's always awkward.

2) When it comes to song remakes, I always like the version I heard first. (Except this time.)
When there is more than one version of a song, I almost always like the version I heard first. The Move (predecessors of ELO) had a version of "Do Ya," but I heard the ELO version first, and I prefer it. I generally don't like "live" recordings, but I prefer every song from Billy Joel's "Songs In the Attic" live recordings to the original versions, partly because I heard the live versions first. And, I don't care how many octaves she can sing, but Mariah Carey can't come close to Harry Nilsson's version of "Without You."

How big of an impact do those first impressions make? Well, generally speaking I love the Beatles and loathe Aerosmith. (The only way Steven Tyler could try to be more like Mick Jagger would be if he actually changed his name to "Mick Jagger.") And yet to this day I still kinda prefer Aerosmith's version of "Come Together" over the original take by the Beatles. And that's because I heard Aerosmith's version first.

This song is the exception to the rule. The song first appeared on the Old 97s album "Satellite Rides." I really liked it. Then a few years later a slightly different version popped up on Rhett Miller's solo album "The Believer." Both versions are sung by Miller, but the newer "solo" version adds 42 seconds (mostly a repeat of the chorus) and is slightly sappier. And I like it better.

C) Album cover that lack creativity
Rhett Miller suffers from "Phil Collins Syndrome."

Album covers can be amazing. There are so many fun and wonderful things that can be done with an album cover. You could put a space ship on it. You could put a futuristic landscape, a beautiful painting, or an interesting photograph on it. You could put a beautiful woman on it. You could put a beautiful woman covered in whipped cream on it. (Thanks, Herb Alpert!) You could even have a bunch of guys pointing at their belly buttons on it (though I wouldn't recommend that.)

Or, you could have Phil Collins Syndrome: "You know what would be great for this album cover? A big, close-up picture of my face! Yup, that's what everyone wants to see!"

For his first solo album, "The Instigator," Rhett Miller went with the Phil Collins approach. Here is the result:

Hi. I'm Rhett Miller. This is a close-up picture of my face.

But, the giant, close-up picture of his face somehow wasn't enough for Rhett. When you pull the cd booklet out of the cd case and unfold it (you remember cd booklets and cd cases, right?) you get this:

So many faces!!!

Just to be clear, each one of these three extra Rhett Miller faces is as large as the picture on the front cover, so if you fold the cd booklet out, accordion-style, you get four huge, close-up pictures of Rhett Miller's face!

Rhett Miller wants you to look at his face! Look at it!!! LOOK AT IT!!!!!

(It's a good thing his songs are so good.)

COMING UP NEXT: Start me up!

100: I Have No Powers, Except Deduction

100. "Super Hero" by Wade Egan [iTunes? Yes.] {Video: Nope.}

I went to school with someone named Wade Egan. I am 99.2% sure that the singer of this song is not that Wade Egan. He was a nice guy and a decent trombone player, but I heard him sing on the pep band bus once, and singing was not his calling. (Mine either.)

I found this song a few years back while doing an iTunes store search for songs about Superman. This song came up in the search, even though it's about super heroes in general, not specifically Superman. I clicked on the song to give it a try, and liked it enough from the preview to buy it.

Wade Egan has a nice, deep, baritone voice, the kind that I can sing along with (or at least attempt to sing along with.)

But, what I really like about the song is the lyrics. Mostly it's about a loser with confidence issues who wants to be able to be a super hero. (It hits a little close to home for how I felt for a significant chunk of my life.)

"I get so tired of being ignored. Nobody likes to feel insignificant."
"I'm not much of a fighter, or a lover, either. Not too good looking, I'd have to wear a mask."
"I got a place where I can ditch my disguise. Dun to dun dun, I'm taking to the skies!"

And, my personal favorite:
"With my x-ray vision, and a little time to spare, I'll probably look for some bad guys, and at your underwear."

If you look past the sad desperation of the lyrics from the point of view of the singer, it's a really fun song. (I am, after all, a comic book nerd at heart.)

COMING UP NEXT: I've got a proposal for you.

101: Too Messed Up to Care

101. "Earth and Sun and Moon" by Midnight Oil [iTunes? Yes] {Video: none.}

Is it "base guitar" or "bass guitar?" I'm not sure. But, for my purposes here (and my porpoises there) I'm going to spell it "bass" and pronounce it "base," just to cover my bases.

The best part of this song? The opening note on the bass guitar! It's a heavy, dramatic note that kind of sounds like the bass guitar's version of a sliding trombone note. Just some great bass guitar work on this song!

"Where are the mighty nations? No lines to be seen."
"Now there's oil spills in the water where Columbus once sailed."
"Too messed up to care. Anyone got a wing and a prayer?"
"Earth and sun and moon. Human tribe. Thin blue line. Earth and sun and moon will survive."

Yes, it's another typical silly love song from Midnight Oil. (Those guys are so sappy.)

You know, when I talk about Midnight Oil, I usually end up just talking about lead singer Peter Garrett.

The quiet and demure Peter Garrett.

Having seen Midnight Oil in concert, this is very understandable. Garrett has an incredible stage presence and a very distinctive voice. In most people's minds, Peter Garret is Midnight Oil.

But, that gives pretty short shrift to the other members in the band. Garrett only wrote a small percentage of the group's songs. And the other members of the band certainly help formulate that rocking Midnight Oil sound.

So, it's time to give a little shout out to the "other" members of the band Midnight Oil! Here's a picture of them I found on the interwebs:

From left to right: Bruce (manager), Bruce (lead guitar), Bruce (bass guitar), Bruce (drums), and Bruce (didgeridoo).

G'day, mates! Thanks for rocking out and making some great music! 

COMING UP NEXT: Dipping my feet in the Wade pool.

102: You Turned the Tap Dance Into Your Crusade

102. "Pressure" by Billy Joel {#20; 9/82} [iTunes? Yes.] {Video: Pressure!}

"You turned the tap dance into your crusade."
"What does it mean?"
"I'll tell you what it means..."
(Actually, I have no idea what it means.)

Seriously, what does it mean to turn the tap dance into your crusade? I don't know. I don't understand. Enlighten me.

Obviously, this is a great song, although it probably was a bit of a disappointment at the time. This was the first release off of Billy's first studio album of new material after the smash success of "Glass Houses." And it only made it to #20 on the charts. Some people say "The Nylon Curtain" is one of Billy Joel's worst albums. I disagree. I think it is pretty good and still holds up today. But, that's the problem when you put out an album as great as "Glass Houses." It's difficult to ever get something that great again.

One thing I don't like about this song is that, similar to "Piano Man," a chopped up, cut-down, shortened, edited version of the song exists. Not only does this bastardized version of the song exist, but Billy actually had the audacity to put the chopped version on his "Greatest Hits" album! Blasphemy! Of course, I prefer the full, complete version of the song.

[NOTE: I went to look for proof of this assertion, but ran into trouble. I thought I had both versions of "Pressure" on my iTunes, but could only find the full version. (I probably deleted the edited version in a fit of rage years ago.) Then I tried to find the shortened version on the iTunes store, to no avail. Flummoxed, I then turned where all good, knowledge-seeking people look for accurate facts. According to our omniscient-ish friends at Wikipedia, the edited version chops one minute and twenty four seconds off of the song, cutting it from 4:40 to 3:16. They also say that only the first pressing of "Billy Joel's Greatest Hits Volume 1 and 2" contains the edited version. Subsequent releases had the full album version.]

Now it's time for the Top 4 Cultural References in the song "Pressure" by Billy Joel:

4. Time Magazine

I read it, too? (No, I don't.) 

Strangely enough, I've never really had the time to read Time magazine. I used to have time for Entertainment Weekly, Sports Illustrated, TV Guide, and Wired, but now I don't have any time for any of them, either. This is what happens when you have a full-time job and are a full-time dad. (Also, with my bizarre work schedule, any time I sit still for ten minutes I fall asleep.)

(While I'm here, what's the big deal about Benedict Cumberbatch? Why is he so famous and successful? I'll tell you why: he has a really cool name! That's it. That's the only reason. Is he handsome? No, not particularly. Is he a great actor? Not any more so than thousands of other aspiring thespians. No, 89% of the reason why Benedict Cumberbatch is famous and successful is because his name is "Benedict Cumberbatch." If his name were something more common, like, say "Martin Freeman," he would be just another unknown struggling actor.)

3. Channel 13

Probably not the Channel 13 Billy Joel was thinking of.

When I think of Channel 13, I think of FOX 13, the local affiliate of the FOX network here in Utah. And when I think of FOX 13, even though I haven't seen a new episode in six or seven years, I think of The Simpsons. (I don't even watch the reruns, either. I don't want my kids to get naughty-ish ideas from Bart, idealistic-ish ideas from Lisa, or binky-ish ideas from Maggie.)

2. Peter Pan

Captain Hook could definitely use some Peter Pan advice.

Once upon a time, my family and I visited a friend who lived in Rexburg, Idaho. That friend showed my kids the very politically incorrect Disney video of Peter Pan. It seemed innocent enough at the time. Little did we know our daughter would fixate on the villainy of Captain Hook.

Captain Hook would become one of her favorite imaginary friends. She would play with him, talk to him, and occasionally try to reform him. He also helped her come up with one of her first jokes: "What would happen if Captain Hook lost his other hand? He'd be Captain Two Hooks!" (She may or may not have a future in comedy.)

1. Sesame Street

Can you tell me how to get there?

I have two young kids. I have watched a lot of Sesame Street. It's changed a bit since I was a kid. It's way too Elmo-centric these days. But that's okay. There's still enough Cookie Monster to make it good.  And I can't get too much of Oscar the Grouch. And fun-loving Ernie and sourpuss Bert. And Grover is always good for some comic relief. (That said, I never really got the appeal of Big Bird.)

And, beside being educational, the show can also still at times be pretty funny. Here's one of my favorite skits: Celebrity Lullabies with Ricky Gervais.

COMING UP NEXT: Australian astronomy?

103: A Cuddle and a Peck On the Cheek

103. "Come Dancing" by the Kinks {#6; 5/83} [iTunes? Yes.] {Video: Come Dancing.}

Here's something for the "Things I Learned On the Interwebs" File! For over 30 years I've loved this song and sang along with it. But, I never knew exactly what he was saying. Was it "pally?" "Polly?" A bad mispronunciation of "parlor?" A bad mispronunciation of "palace?"

I never knew. I just sang along saying "pally," not knowing what exactly they meant by it. And then I looked up the lyrics to this song on metrolyrics.com. There are several websites that feature song lyrics, so why do I usually use metrolyrics? Because they generally have fewer pop-up ads than the other sites. That said, I know that metrolyrics is not the be all and end all of song lyrics. Inaccuracies creep in. Just the other day while looking at the lyrics for "Jessie's Girl" they tried to tell me Rick sings "I want to tell her that I love her, but the point is probably mute." Of course, it's not "mute," it's "moot." (I learned this from Jesse Jackson on Saturday Night Live.) (Unless you happen to adhere to the philosophy of Joey Tribiani from Friends, who would say it is a "moo" point, meaning worthless, like a cow's opinion.)

Anywho, I looked up the lyrics for "Come Dancing" and found that the word I've been struggling with all these years is "palais." It's a French word meaning "palace." Because I don't totally trust metrolyrics, I double-checked the word on Wikipedia. (Wikipedia is trustworthy, with a 74% accuracy rate. That's good enough for a "C" grade, and we all know that "Cs get degrees.")

Wikipedia confirmed that the word "palais" is French for "palace," and also noted that it was also a word used for dance clubs in the United Kingdom back in the 1950s and 1960s. So, there you have it: palais!

Aside from the ever-confusing "palais," this song is a treasure trove of awesome lyrics. [Side note: Has there ever been a trove that isn't a treasure? Something to think about.]  There's:
"She would be ready but she'd always make them wait in the hallway in anticipation. He didn't know the night would end up in frustration. He'd end up blowing all his wages for the week, all for a cuddle and a peck on the cheek."

And: "My sister should have come in at midnight, and my mom would always sit up and wait. It always ended up in a big row, when my sister used to come home late."

And also the great: "Out of my window I can see them in the moonlight. Two silhouettes saying "Goodnight" by the garden gate."

And, just like "Jessie's Girl" before it, the song has a "gotta turn it up" guitar moment, right after "The day they knocked down the palais, part of my childhood died," (at the 2:27 mark of the video.) Can't go wrong with a kid playing air guitar on a tennis racket! (And, apparently, people who make videos think that "gotta turn it up" guitar moments should be accompanied by breaking mirrors.)

I like the video. I'm not sure if he's a smarmy guy with a moustache, a guy with a smarmy moustache, or a smarmy guy with a smarmy moustache.

Plus, we get the history of a certain parcel of land. Palais, then bowling alley, then supermarket, then parking lot.

COMING UP NEXT: Sesame Street: Where is it? And how do I get there?

104: I've Been Funny, I've Been Cool With the Lines

104. "Jessie's Girl" by Rick Springfield {#1; 3/81} [iTunes? Yes.] {Video: Jessie's Girl.}

"You know, I feel so dirty when they start talking cute. I wanna tell her that I love her, but the point is probably moot."

Ah, Jessie is a friend. And "Jessie's Girl" is a song. A song with many qualities to recommend it. Such as:

*The jealousy/unrequited love angle. (Yes, since all of my "love" was unrequited until so late in my life, I still have a soft spot for songs about unrequited love.)

*Great lyrics. There are many great and memorable lines in this song. My favorite, without a doubt, is "I've been looking in the mirror all the time, wondering what she don't see in me. I've been funny, I've been cool with the lines. Ain't that the way love's supposed to be?"

*Guitar! This song has a moment that demands that the volume be turned up. When the guitar rocks just after the "Ain't that the way love's supposed to be?" line (at the 2:00 minute mark in the video), the volume level must be turned up. It's pretty much an involuntary reaction.

*Rick Springfield is a handsome man. (Just sayin'.)

*There's a dog in a white shirt and tie!

*And, finally, there's the General Hospital factor.

Funny. Cool with the lines. 

Dr. Noah Drake. Rick Springfield was Dr. Noah Drake on General Hospital. Yes, I watched General Hospital. (I really didn't have much choice.)

My mom watched soap operas. She had three shows that she usually watched: One Life to Live (with main characters Asa, Bo, and Clint Buchanan); Days of Our Lives (with Bo and Hope, Brady and Marlena); and General Hospital. 

Days of Our Lives aired at 3:00 PM, so it was usually on when I got home from school. The other two shows, One Life to Live and General Hospital made up a lunch-time block between noon and 2:00 PM. And, if we weren't out in the field working on the farm, my dad would take us home for lunch, and we would all watch these two soap operas. 

Often we wouldn't get home for lunch until 12:30 or so, so we would only see a bit of One Life to Live. But we would usually stay and watch the entire episode of General Hospital before going back out to work. (Yes, Dad liked watching the show.)

Of course, if we were out in the fields on the tractor, which we often were, we would take a sack lunch and miss out on the show. It didn't really matter, though, because the shows were so slooooww moving that you could miss several episodes and still pick up on the story without missing a beat. (In fact, after not seeing the show for the entire school year I could usually catch right back up with the story in a day or two.) (I wonder if I tuned in today if some of the same old storylines would be ongoing.)

I still remember some of the characters. There were Luke and Laura. Luke's sister Bobbi. Dr. Noah Drake. My favorite was Robert Scorpio, because he had a cool name, and he was Aussie.

There were a lot of actors and actresses who would go on to more famous work. Demi Moore. Janine Turner (from Northern Exposure.) The beautiful Emma Samms would go on to Dynasty. John Stamos played a young punk named Blackie before moving on to Full House. A young Rush Limbaugh played a tough drug dealer named "Turk." (Okay, I totally made that last one up.)

And, of course, there was rock legend star Rick Springfield as Dr. Noah Drake.

"I'll play along with the charade. There doesn't seem to be a reason to change."

COMING UP NEXT: You should be dancing. Yeah.

105: There's Nothing Wrong With My State of Mental Health

105. "Who Can It Be Now?" by Men At Work {#1; 7/82} [iTunes? Yes.] {Video: Who Can It Be Now? Highlights of the video:
At 0:28: Wrist-flick watch-check.
At 1:17: Colin Hay chest hair peeking out from sports coat.
At 2:06: Scary drummer rocking the "overalls with no shirt" look.
Last minute of the video: Guitar player wearing tight-whities.}

"Who can it be knocking at my door? Go away. Don't come 'round here no more. Can't you see that it's late at night? I'm very tired, and I'm not feeling right. All I wish is to be alone. Go away. Don't you invade my home."

"I like it here with my childhood friends."

Sax and psychosis.

Pop and paranoia.

It's a "wheelhouse" song. It's a "sing-along-ability" song. And, it's by some Aussies. I don't know why, but it seems I'm predisposed to like songs by Australians. I blame my brother. And Paul Hogan. And The Man From Snowy River. And crazy-eyed Collin Hay.

And did I mention the "overalls with no shirt" look? Awesome!

COMING UP NEXT: Watching soap operas with my mom and dad.

106: Me and My Whole World

106. "Girl" by Davy Jones [iTunes? No. At least, not the "real" version that I have.] {Video: Girl. My favorite? The head-bobbing music producer.}

"Girl, look what you've done to me. Me, and my whole world."

This song is important on many levels. A) Childhood memories of watching The Brady Bunch; 2) I had it on one of my first mix-tapes for my wife; 3) I had it on one of my first night-time mix-tapes for my daughter;  D) It's a catchy, sing-a-long-able tune; and E) Davy Jones is British!

Of course, the lesson we most learn from the Brady Bunch episode this song comes from is that if you make a promise you can't keep, don't worry, because if you are persistently annoying and whiny enough, you just might get your way after all.

Marcia! Marcia! Marcia! (And people think Jan is the whiny one!)

The version of the song that I have in my iTunes was ripped directly from a DVD of the original episode, back when I had the technology and know-how how to do such a thing. (I wouldn't have the faintest idea how to do that now. The brain cells that used to house that knowledge are now busy dealing with how to get children to eat their vegetables.)

[NOTE: The video link is now fixed. (I hope.)]

COMING UP NEXT: Knock, knock. Who's there?