107: A Number I Can Always Dial For Assistance

107. "Sometimes a Fantasy" by Billy Joel {#36; 10/80} [iTunes? Yes] {Video: Sometimes a Fantasy. I had never seen this video before. Sorry, but it is not a good video. Billy looks especially creepy, and the crotch shots at the end of the video are particularly disturbing. (Plus, what are the chances a guy that looks like Billy Joel could ever get a woman that attractive? I mean, really?)}

There are a lot of good reasons why this song is on the list: 1) Rocking guitars! 2) Phone-dialing sound effects! C) It's a great exercise song! (It even gets a little faster towards the end, for a good exercising kick.) And, 4) There's a hint of "unrequitedness" to it, based on the fantasy vs. reality aspects of the lyrics.

But, come on, we all know the real reason this song is on the list:

Pants!!!

Yes, that's right, I said pants!

I'm not really sure why, but the idea of a grown-up, successful rock star like Billy Joel panting into the telephone in the middle of a song was especially funny and/or "cool" to a young teenage boy. (Not that I ever openly did any heavy breathing into a telephone.) (At least not on purpose.)

It's funny, but back in the day I....wait, what's that? That smell. What is that smell? Is it? Could it possibly be? Yes! Rich Corinthian leather!!!

Sometimes a Fantasy is all you need!

Scene: People are departing from a small airplane as TATTOO and MR. ROARKE watch.
TATTOO: "Boss, who is that? She looks like a nice lady."

MR. ROARKE: "Ah, Tattoo, she is a very nice lady. That is Ms. Wanda Jenkins, a secretary from Topeka, Kansas."

Ms. Jenkins takes a sip from a drink with an umbrella in it.

TATTOO: "What is her fantasy?"

MR. ROARKE: "She simply wants to have a nice, quiet, relaxing weekend in a tropical island paradise."

TATTOO: "Sounds like an easy fantasy, Boss."

MR. ROARKE: "Ah, it's never as easy as it sounds, Tattoo. What Ms. Jenkins doesn't realize is how the decisions she makes on her nice, quiet, relaxing weekend in a tropical island paradise could mean the difference between a healthy-looking vacation suntan and a deadly, debilitating sunburn!"

"Sometimes a fantasy is all you need!"

COMING UP NEXT: Where's Peter Tork?