66: I'm a Little Glowing Friend

66. "Birdhouse In Your Soul" by They Might Be Giants [iTunes? Yes.] {Video: Birdhouse In Your Soul. (That's some darn fine choreography!)}

Memory can be a fickle thing. It was over 24 years ago, so I can't be positive that anything I'm about to tell you is the absolute truth or not. But, I'm pretty sure this is the song that made me purchase my first They Might Be Giants album. 

I had heard "Istanbul (Not Constantinople)" on the radio a few times, and I liked it a lot. But then one night, (April 3, 1990, to be precise) I saw They Might Be Giants perform "Birdhouse In Your Soul" on the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson, with Doc Severinsen and the Tonight Show Band playing along. (It so happens that on that particular night Jay Leno was guest-hosting for Johnny, because at that point Johnny Carson was pioneering the three-day work week, and Jay hosted on Thursday and Friday nights.) (God bless Johnny Carson!)

The room must listen to me. Filibuster vigilantly!

Not long after seeing this performance, I was filling out an order for the Columbia House Record and Tape club, and when I saw the listing for the They Might Be Giants album "Flood," with the accompanying blurb of "Quirky Brilliance," I put it on my list of records to purchase.

Through the magic and wonder of YouTube, I can watch that "Tonight Show" performance right now, in the comfort of my modern home. And so can you. Here is a link to it: Birdhouse In Your Soul: They Might Be Giants with Doc Severinsen.

Doc and his band seem to be having a pretty good time, and the horn section really adds to the song. (I wish I could be as casually cool as Doc Severinsen seemed to be all those years.)

It's an awesome song with some fun lyrical twists:

"Blue canary in the outlet by the light switch. Who watches over you?"

"Not to put to fine a point on it. Say I'm the only bee in your bonnet."

"So the room must listen to me. Filibuster vigilantly."

And, my favorite:

"There's a picture opposite me of my primitive ancestry which stood on rocky shores and kept the beaches shipwreck-free.

Though I respect that a lot, I'd be fired if that were my job, after killing Jason off and countless screaming Argonauts."

Some pretty fun stuff!

COMING UP NEXT: The end of the beginning.

67: It's No Better To Be Safe Than Sorry

67. "Take On Me" by A-ha {#1; 7/85} [iTunes? Yes.] {Video: Take On Me. (One of the more famous videos of the MTV era.)}

This song came out just as I was leaving to go on my mission. I heard it a few times and probably saw the video once before coming home two years later. It's one of the most famous and creative videos ever, but there's more to it than that.

This song gets points in a lot of different areas. First, it's a great workout song, with a steady, fast beat that takes a good effort to stay up with.

It's also a great falsetto song. As the chorus goes on, the voice pitch gets higher and higher and higher until it reaches dog whistle or Olivia-Newton-John-on-Xanadu levels, making it fun to try to sing.

And then there's the lyrics. I'm really not sure what he is trying to say, and the lyric websites haven't been any help to me here, but at one point, at the highest octave possible, it seems like he is singing, "L-M-N-O-PEE!!!" (And I'm always up for some good alphabet singing.)

Fonzie must have been big in Oslo.

If people ever say, "Nothing good ever came out of Norway," you can rebut them with, "But what about A-ha?" Also, these guys have the best names this side of Diesel:

Morten Harket: vocals
Pal Waaktaar: guitar
Magne "Mags" Furuholmen: keyboards

(They can be used together in a sentence like this: "Luke Skywalker made sure to fasten his harket before climbing aboard the waaktaar for the four hour ride to Furuholmen.")

I didn't hear A-ha's follow up to "Take On Me" until several years later, but when I did, I thought "The Sun Always Shines On TV" was a very, very good song, too. Makes me wonder if I should listen to more Norwegian music.

COMING UP NEXT: Need a light?

68: Good Things Are Fantastic!

68. "I Love Things That Are Great (Theme from the Tony Bennett Show)" by Alec Baldwin (as Tony Bennett) [iTunes? No.] {Video: I Love Things That Are Great. (This is a video of the entire skit. Only the opening song is at #68 on the HondoJoe Top 200.)}

Nobody expected Alec Baldwin to be in the HondoJoe Top 200! Yet, here he is.

Back in the day, when I was single and had lots and lots of free time, I used to have a) the technology, and 2) the know-how, of how to take snippets of stuff off of the television and convert them to mp3 form that I could play as music on my computer. (In fact, that's how I got my version of "Girl" by Davy Jones, found at #106 on this list, from off of a Brady Bunch VHS that I bought, and "All Fall Down" by Electric Light Orchestra Part II, found at #171 on this list, also from a VHS tape I purchased.)

Unfortunately, now that I have been married for close to eight years, I'm not sure if I still have the technology to do that, but I am certain that the know-how to do it has been replaced by things like "how to properly change a diaper," "how to potty-train a boy," and "what to do when a diaper-change and/or potty train goes awry."

So, I'm lucky I got this song when I did.

Alec Baldwin is a bundle-full of happiness. Always.

This song comes from an episode of Saturday Night Live featuring Alec Baldwin portraying an upbeat Tony Bennett on a recurring skit called "The Tony Bennett Show." Here are the lyrics:

I love things that are great.
Good things are fantastic.
Guess what? I also paint.
Just a hobby, nothing drastic.
I dig everything except for things I don't.
And I'll try anything except the things I say I won't.
But one thing's for sure:
I love things (shu-dooba-du-bee-bop) that are great!

It's just a 55 second snippet of a song, but if it doesn't put a smile on your face, you probably don't know how to smile. In fact, before my original Mac desktop computer died, this song was the runaway leader in the "Most Played" iTunes category. (I'm not sure why it was the most played. Other than it's a good thing, and good things are fantastic.)

COMING UP NEXT: L-M-N-O-PEE!

69: Too Many Moonlight Kisses

69. "When I Fall In Love" by Rick Astley [iTunes? Yes] {Video: When I Fall In Love.}

This is, pure and simple, a great love song. And it has some very personal meaning for me from when I was a-courting my soon-to-be wife.

Now is where you are thinking, "Okay, I can understand that. But why the Rick Astley version? Really? Rick Astley???"

That's a valid question. In my vast record collection, I had many different versions of this song, including a fine version by the Lettermen, and what is probably considered the standard bearer for this song, by Nat King Cole. They're both great, but I prefer the Rick Astley version.

Why? I'm not sure. It could be the arrangement. It could be Rick's deep, rich baritone voice. It could be that if someone that goofy looking can sing this song so well, maybe there's hope for me. It could be all those factors and more. I just know that I prefer the Rick Astley version.

He's never gonna give, never gonna give you up.

Rick Astley was a  strange phenomenon. A dude who looks like Howdy Doody with a voice like Nat King Cole. Even when watching the video to this song there was a disconnect for me between the voice and the person singing. It looks more like someone's annoying nephew Nate lip-synching, not an actual recording artist. (I also especially like it when it appears Rick has violinists and harpists twirling around his head.)

(For the record, I do not have an annoying nephew Nate.) (But if I did, he'd probably look a lot like Rick Astley.)

COMING UP NEXT: Tony Bennett? Probably not.

70: Walking On the Water, Walking On the Air

70. "Heart and Soul" by T'Pau {#4; 5/87} [iTunes? Yes.] {Video: Heart and Soul. (The video is very important to the appeal of this song. I'll discuss it more below.)}

This song came out the last month or two that I was a Mormon missionary. The first memory I have of this song is at a Kmart in Fairmont, West Virginia, hometown of Mary Lou Retton. I'm guessing I saw an image of T'Pau lead singer Carol Decker from the video for this song on one of the televisions in the electronics department. Wow! (Do you remember where you were the first time you saw Carol Decker in the "Heart and Soul" video?)

A short time later I had full access to MTV at my brother's apartment back in Idaho, and I cherished every time they played the video.

That, my friends, is a beautiful woman!

Of course, at the time I thought the group T'Pau consisted of some random guys and two beautiful women, the gorgeous one (pictured above) who did the spoken word/rapping, and the not-quite-as-attractive tall-haired woman who did the singing.

Tall hair + big earrings = not quite as attractive.

It took me a while to realize that these two women were, in fact, the same person. (It's amazing what they could do with trick photography and video editing in 1987!) It was the close-ups of Rapping Carol Decker's face that had me mesmerized. 

Not only was she beautiful, but the way she pronounced words was hypnotic. "Walking on the water, walking on the air." I had never before heard anyone say the word "air" in such a way that it didn't seem to have an "r" in it. (The video ends with Carol asking "Must I beg you?" No, no you musn't, but I'd be fine if you did.)

Of course, the appeal of this song isn't solely that Carol Decker was an attractive woman. It was that she was an attractive woman who was actually a fan of Star Trek!!!

Yes, as we all know, the name of the group T'Pau was taken from a Vulcan high priestess from an episode of Star Trek. (Of course, the chances are that the group name was suggested by one of the nondescript, unimportant members of the band, and not by Carol Decker, but why spoil it with thoughts like that?)

T'Pau (I like the Carol Decker version better.)

Of course, any Star Trek fan worth his weight in tribbles is familiar with the episode featuring T'Pau. It involves Spock's seven-year sexual cycle, an arranged marriage, and a combat to the death between Spock and Captain Kirk. 

The subject of that arranged marriage was the beautiful but illogical T'Pring.

T'Pring! (I think that's the official name of my ring tone.)

For all their talk about logic, this whole episode makes the Vulcans seem pretty darn illogical and possibly downright zany. Spock ends up actually killing Captain Kirk, only for him to be brought back to life by some voodoo doctoring by Bones McCoy. The whole thing seemed a bit silly. The silliest part? That T'Pring would actually rather be with a doofus like Stonn instead of Spock. Highly illogical!

Even Stonn is questioning T'Pring's taste in men.

All that said, I think I prefer the earthbound, 1980s version of T'Pau:

Must I beg you?

COMING UP NEXT: It's Howdy Doody Time!

71: I Don't Know Why It Is

71. "She's Got a Way" by Billy Joel {#23; 11/81} [iTunes? Yes] {Video: She's Got a Way. (Not one of Billy's better hair days.)}

"Songs In the Attic" was a very interesting album. I'm not sure if it was a lazy album, a courageous album, or a little bit of both. I've never seen any other artist try to pull off what Billy Joel did with "Songs In the Attic." Whatever he was trying to do, for me at least, it worked.

At the time "Songs In the Attic" was released, Billy Joel was coming off one of the most successful three album runs that any artist has ever had, both commercially and artistically. "The Stranger," "52nd Street," and "Glass Houses" were all incredibly popular, and Billy Joel was flying about as high as any rock star could.

So, for his next album he decided to re-release a bunch of songs from his earlier, less successful albums.  In a way, it seems lazy. Why put out a new album when my hordes of fans will pay good money for a bunch of rehashed old songs?

I don't know what it is, but I know that I can't live without her.

Or, was it actually a bold move? Billy believed in these songs. He knew they were good, but they hadn't reached the audience he would have liked them to. Couple that with the fact that some of those original recordings didn't showcase the songs to Billy's liking because of the use of session players instead of his own band, and he thought new, live recordings of the songs would sound better.

When "Songs In the Attic" was released, I was unfamiliar with any of the songs on it. I bought the album, listened to it, and loved it. I immediately went back and bought copies of his pre-"Stranger" albums "Piano Man," "Streetlife Serenade," and "Turnstiles." (I would have bought "Cold Spring Harbor, too, but it wasn't available at the time.)

So, the "Songs In the Attic" idea certainly worked on me! I wonder how much the sales of those earlier albums were bumped up by "Songs In the Attic?" I'd bet it put a fair bit of money in the pockets of Billy Joel or whoever was mismanaging his money for him at the time.

"She's Got a Way" is a simple, beautiful love song. Just a man, his piano, and some words. It's a great song.

COMING UP NEXT: Are you out of your Vulcan mind?

72: I'm Newly Calibrated

72. "Better Now" by Collective Soul [iTunes? Yes] {Video: Better Now.}

I wrote briefly about Collective Soul way back at #192 with their first hit, "Shine." I really like Collective Soul. They seem a bit out of place when compared to other late-90s, early-00's bands. They weren't really "alternative." They were never "hip" or "cool." I'm pretty sure Collective Soul has never been called a "jiggy" band.

They just play the guitar and rock.

After they hit the scene with "Shine," they had several other minor hits. They quickly settled into a rhythm, where they would release an album and I would really like two or three songs on that album. These songs, like "Gel," "Heavy," and "Run," would all be really good, but just lacking some little thing to push them over the top to being great songs.

The song "Why, Part 2" almost made it to great status. It's a really good rocker of a song, and I actually included it in one of the rough drafts of the HondoJoe Top 200. But, eventually it missed the cut.

And then there's this song. "Better Now" is an excellent rock song. It has driving guitars. The riff is a little reminiscent of "Rock You Like a Hurricane" by the Scorpions, except better. The song has a bit of an optimistic feel to it with the whole "Better Now" vibe. (It also helps that lead singer Ed Roland has a low enough voice that I can at least attempt to sing along.)

But what really makes "Better Now" slightly better than all the other really good Collective Soul songs is the out-of-nowhere, totally unexpected saxophone. The song is three minutes and fifteen seconds long, and it is pretty much just heading for the closing fade-out when, with 38 seconds left, the saxophone comes a-blaring!

I've said before that I don't usually care for long instrumental fade-outs, but this is a definite exception. I'm not sure why, but that closing saxophone just really brings the whole song together and makes it awesome.

(I think the band added the sax on later, because if you watch the video, there is absolutely no one playing the sax at the end while the rest of the band plays on the guitars. In fact, a different version of the video features the song without the fading sax, and the song most definitely lacks without it.)

COMING UP NEXT: A song not sung by a chipmunk.

73: I'm Interested In Things

73. "Doctor Worm" by They Might Be Giants [iTunes? Yes] {Video: Doctor Worm.}

Sometimes it's good to be horny.

I know I go on and on a lot about the Electric Light Orchestra and their orchestration and violins and cellos and such. But, sometimes I like horns, too.

This song has some good horn work. They aren't overpowering horns, and they aren't particularly fancy horns, they are just good, solid horns that make up the backbone of this song. (Which is kind of funny since it's not a song about horns, but it is a song about playing the drums.)

Another big selling point about this song is that it is one of my favorite workout songs. It has an excellent pace for my workouts on the elliptical, and it works for me at whatever stage of working out I am in. It's slow enough that I can still keep its pace even when I haven't worked out for months and am just starting up again. And it's fast enough for those times that I have been working out for months and I need faster paced songs.

"When I get into it I can't tell if you are watching me twirling the sticks."

"Someday somebody else besides me will call me by my stage name."

COMING UP NEXT: Good, better, best! (Again.)

74: What Could Go Wrong?

74. "Do What You Want" by OK Go [iTunes? Yes] {Video: Do What You Want (Wallpaper version). (Some videos are more important to see than others. This video is one you will want to see. It is a hoot.)}

Reminds me of the couches in the foyer at the Arimo church back in the day.
(Suddenly I want to sluff Sunday School.)

OK Go is a band known mostly for their videos, not their songs. As the years have gone by, OK Go videos have gotten more and more complex, intricate, and demanding. Unfortunately, their songs have gotten a little less fun and a little less rocking.

"Do What You Want" is one of their earlier songs, and it's an absolute beast of a rocker. Great guitars. Great riffs. Great sing-along-ability. And some damn fine cowbell! It probably doesn't hurt that the lyrics have a wonderful hedonistic bent to them. "Do what you want. What could go wrong?" And while there are many arguments that can be made against pure "do whatever I want, seek out pure pleasure" hedonism, it's hard to argue that it sounds pretty good in a rock and roll song every now and then.

This is one of the newest songs on the HondoJoe Top 200. When I first made the list, I worried that I had put it a little too high because it was a bit more fresh in my mind than some of the other songs. Well, in the many months it has taken from when I started the list until now, I can say that if anything I probably have this song too low on the list. It's a damn good rock song! (The fact that I've watched the video with the kids dozens of times, and that they both really like it, probably helps.) It's hard to go wrong with guitars and cowbells.

COMING UP NEXT: Doctor, doctor, give me the news.

75: Kicking Edgar Allan Poe

75. "I Am the Walrus" by the Beatles {#56; 12/67} [iTunes? Yes] {Video: I Am the Walrus. (First of all, this is an actual music video from the Beatles! Second of all, it's actually pretty good.)}

Who is your favorite Beatle?

For me, it's always been pretty simple. First, I'll eliminate Ringo right off the bat. Why? Because he is Ringo. And then, as much as I like George, he's out, too. He's a very talented and under-appreciated guy, but he is, was, and always will be the "third Beatle."

So that leaves John and Paul. I always liked Paul best. Paul seemed nice, I liked his solo work best, and, yes, he was the "cute" one.

John, on the other hand, seemed more angry, more hippie-ish, more arrogantly intellectual, and his marriage to Yoko broke up the band. Plus, he had the audacity to say that the Beatles were bigger than Jesus.

Nice jackets! (THANKS!)

And yet, here we are with "I Am the Walrus," one of my favorite Beatles songs. As much as I like Paul, this song shows just how brilliant/insane/funny/flippant/talented John Lennon was. Dang, this is a great song!

Of course the lyrics are the star of the show here, but I'd be remiss if I didn't mention the orchestration backdrop to the song. I'm sure the violins and cellos here had more than a bit of influence on Jeff Lynne and his Electric Light Orchestra.

But yes, those lyrics:
"I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together."
"Yellow matter custard, dripping from a dead dog's eye."
"Sitting on a corn flake, waiting for the van to come."
"Man, you should have seen them kicking Edgar Allan Poe."
"If the sun don't come you get your tan from standing in the English rain."
"Mister city policeman sitting pretty little policemen in a row."
"Man, you've been a naughty boy, you let your face grow long."
"Boy, you've been a naughty girl, you let your knickers down."
"Elementary penguin singing Hare Krishna."
"I am the eggman. They are the eggmen. I am the walrus."
"Ho, ho, ho; hee, hee, hee; ha, ha, ha."
"Goo goo g'joob."

Nice work, John.
(On second thought, maybe I just like this song because I'm fond of the idea of someone kicking Edgar Allan Poe. That dude could've used good kicking.)

COMING UP NEXT: Hedonism: Is It Good?

76: Watching You As You Watch Me

76. "Ordinary Dream" by Electric Light Orchestra [iTunes? Yes] {Video: Ordinary Dream. (Once again, a video of a live performance by Jeff Lynne actually makes the song seem duller than it is. As much as I love his music, Jeff Lynne doesn't seem to be a very enthusiastic or energetic live performer.)}

Sometimes people say stupid things.

A while back I was listening to the radio one day and the DJ (remember DJs?) at the classic rock station was talking about how annoying it is when you go to a concert and the group insists on doing a song or two from their new album. He then said that not only should they stop playing new songs at their concerts, but that the groups should stop putting out new albums altogether!

Like I said, people say stupid things.

Who is to say when a group should stop putting out new albums? Foreigner's third album, Head Games, was pretty crappy. Maybe they should have stopped there. But, if they had we would have missed out on "Juke Box Hero," "Urgent," and "I Want to Know What Love Is."

One of the problems with the current radio format is that there is no outlet for new songs from old groups. New music stations won't play songs by old groups, and classic rock stations won't play any new songs by old groups, because the songs aren't "classic" yet. There's no way those songs can ever be "classic" if no one ever gets to hear them!

In 2002, Boston came out with the album Corporate America, which featured the excellent song "I Had a Really Good Time." No one noticed. In 2003, Styx released the album Cyclorama, which had a lot of great songs on it. Not many people cared at all.

In 2001, Jeff Lynne decided it was time for the return of the Electric Light Orchestra. He planned a big tour to go with the release of the album, which was titled Zoom. And then, the crickets chirped. Jeff Lynne found out that the ELO name couldn't sell out big stadiums like it once could. Radio stations didn't care to play anything off of Zoom, because ELO wasn't relevant and none of the songs were "classic." Life sucks.

As an album, Zoom was pretty scattershot. Half of the songs on the album are so instantly forgettable that I forgot about them. (Instantly.) There are three or four songs that are pretty good. And then there is this song, which is fantastic! It's one of those soaring, floating songs that I like so much, but it also has a jarring little guitar bit repeated several times through the song that compels me to air-guitar along with it every time it plays. It's just well-crafted songmanship. Jeff Lynne is a very talented man.

That DJ was, of course, an idiot. These are the musicians who wrote and performed the songs we love. Why would we deny them the chance to write more music? What I wouldn't give for Billy Joel to come out with some new material. Who knows, for all the great songs he's written over the years, maybe Paul McCartney has yet to write his greatest song? And if the price of maybe getting some more great songs is that we have to listen to a song or two we aren't familiar with at a concert, well I'm willing to pay that price.

COMING UP NEXT: How do you like your egg, man?

77: Sitting Around the House

77. "Good" by Better Than Ezra {#30; 7/95} [iTunes? Yes] {Video: Good. (The song may be "Good," but the video is terrible. It's one of those videos that makes me want to grab the director, slap him across the face, and tell him it's actually okay to leave the camera in one spot for more than two seconds at a time. I watch this video and I get motion sickness.)}

Sometimes a song evokes a specific memory. And, sometimes it evokes something more than just a memory. Sometimes it evokes a feeling.

I'm not sure when this happened (other than it was some time after 1995 when this song came out.) I was going through a period where I was constantly sick. I had a cold, I lost my voice, and I just couldn't get to where I was feeling better. This had been going on for several weeks. I was, literally and figuratively, sick and tired of being sick and tired.

And then one day, on my way to work, I heard this song. And as the song went on, I just felt somehow better. Better than I had in several weeks. I'm sure the song wasn't the cause of my suddenly feeling better, but in my mind I linked listening to "Good" with finally being able to feel "good" for the first time in weeks. I always liked this song, but ever since then I've really liked this song.


Aside from "Good" making me feel good, I also really like the multiple use of the phrase "sitting around the house." It reminds me of the old joke, "Your mama's so fat that when she sits around the house, she really sits around the house!"

Sitting around the house.

When I Googled images for the phrase "sitting around the house," this, a photo from the Washington Post, was the second image that came up. (I'm pretty good at sitting around the house, too.)

COMING UP NEXT: Dream Weaver (But NOT Dennis Weaver)

78: There's Something About You, Girl, That Makes Me Sweat

78. "Need You Tonight/Mediate" by INXS {#1; 10/87} [iTunes? Yes] {Video: Need You Tonight/Mediate.}

"There's something about you, girl, that makes me sweat." I don't know if truer lyrics have ever been sung. (And I'm not talking about any one girl. Pretty much all girls elicit this reaction.)

This song is from the very end of what I call my "Wheelhouse" period, which began in 1978 or 1979 when I was twelve or thirteen years old, and ended towards the end of 1987 when I had just returned from my two years as a Mormon missionary and was in my sophomore year of college at BYU. I'm not sure why the "wheelhouse" ended then. After my sophomore year I left BYU for Idaho State University. Maybe it's because when I left Provo for Pocatello I felt like an "adult" for the first time. My parents were divorced, and I was working to support myself for the first time. Yes, I was still going to college, but I didn't really feel like a student anymore. And the music of the late 70s/early 80s was changing.

To be honest, I really don't know why. But this is one of the last songs of my "youth." It most definitely reminds me of that second year at BYU, which wasn't a particularly good time for me. I felt lost in the crowd that second year at BYU. The semester this song came out, my smallest class had at least 150 students, with several much bigger than that. It didn't seem to matter to anyone if I showed up or not. And, although I liked and got along with my roommates, I felt I just didn't fit in with most of the cliques  there.

Anywho, back to the song. It's pretty darn good, isn't it? And, there's more to the song than just the song. On the album, and often times on the radio, "Need You Tonight" melded right into the next song, "Mediate." That's why they're here together on this list. Without "Mediate," "Need You Tonight" would be in the HondoJoe Top 200, but nowhere near this high. It needs "Mediate" to fill things out.

And, "Mediate" (especially the video) reminds me of Tim Kazurinsky. In the video for "Mediate," the band member of INXS are seen holding up big cards with some of the lyrics from the song, which is pretty much just words that end in the suffix "-ate." (My favorite line from "Mediate?" Unquestionably it is: "At 98 we all rotate.")

Well, back in the dark days of Saturday Night Live, during the early 1980s years without Lorne Michaels, one of the featured players was Tim Kazurinsky. And he did a very funny bit where he played a doctor who would hold up cards which featured made-up ailments which all ended in the same suffix. (If you ask me, those Lorne-less years (also known as the Eddie Murphy years) are a bit under-rated. There actually was some funny stuff there.)

Tim Kazurinsky's Dr. Jack Badofsky: I laughed every time.

(Here's a link to one of Kazurinsky's routines: Phobias.)

Oh, and we can add INXS to the long list of Australian bands on the HondoJoe Top 200. (I blame Paul Hogan.)

COMING UP NEXT: Good, Better, Best

79: Pick Up Your Feet

79. "Driver's Seat" by Sniff 'N' the Tears {#15; 7/79} [iTunes? Yes] {Video: Driver's Seat.}

This is definitely an early "wheelhouse" song. 1979! I was thirteen years old, just starting 8th grade. My sister had left the house, and my brother was entering his senior year of high school. Their influences on my musical tastes and listening habits were on the wane. I was finally in the driver's seat.

"Jenny was sweet. She always smiled for the people she'd meet."
"Feeling alright. A little jiving on a Saturday night." (I always thought the lyrics were "a little driving on a Saturday night," but all the song lyric sites I just looked at said it was "jiving." I think I still prefer "driving.")(I'm a stubborn man, and 35 years of singing it one way isn't about to change overnight.)

I've gotta say, I'm not a big fan of that "'N'" in the middle of Sniff 'N' Tears. I think I'd like it better without the quotation marks. Of if they had standard double quotation marks.

I've never heard any other songs by Sniff 'N' the Tears. I wonder if they were any good?

COMING UP NEXT: Gonna make you sweat! (With special guest Tim Kazurinsky.)

80: People Just Liked It Better That Way

80. "Istanbul (Not Constantinople)" by They Might Be Giants [iTunes? Yes.] {Video: Istanbul; or here: Not Constantinople (Tiny Toons).}

"Quirky Brilliance!"

That was the two word review that appeared next to the listing of the They Might Be Giants album "Flood" in the Columbia House Record and Tape Club. "Quirky Brilliance!" It's not often two words can so succinctly sum up something as complicated as the entire musical catalog of a band, but there you have it.

"Istanbul" was the first song I ever heard by They Might Be Giants. I heard it, and I liked it. I'm a big fan of quirky. (And, as far as brilliance goes, well, duh!) So, when I was looking for a filler album to complete my 13 tapes for one of the several times I joined Columbia House, I thought I'd take a chance on They Might Be Giants.

One guitar plus one accordion equals quirky brilliance.

Obviously, it was a good choice. Many, many albums and several concerts later, They Might Be Giants have cemented themselves into the HondoJoe Cognitive Triad as one of my three favorite musical acts of all time.

And it all started in Istanbul. (But not Constantinople.)

COMING UP NEXT: Jenny, Jenny, who can I turn to?

81: Head For the Girl I Left Behind

81. "Down In the Silvermine" by Diesel [iTunes? Yes] {Video: Yes, but we'll get to that in a minute.}

First of all, yes, I know I probably have the wrong song by Diesel on this list. "Sausalito Summer Night" was the one hit Diesel had in America, and it is a fantastic song. It's got that driving, memorable guitar riff. It's a great story song about a road trip in an old junker car. And, it actually mentions root beer. It's a great song, and it is very deserving to be on the HondoJoe Top 200.

But it isn't. Instead, I chose "Down In the Silvermine." It's a song that definitely falls into the "I don't know why I like it, I just do" category. It never made it onto the Hot 100, but I do remember hearing it on the radio a few times. And I liked it. It's happy. It's jaunty. It speaks positively about a good work ethic. It's fun. "Days are long but the work is fine, down in the silvermine!"



Based on "Sausalito Summer Night" you (and I) probably would guess that Diesel is a group from somewhere around the San Francisco Bay area. You (and I) would be wrong. Diesel is actually a Dutch group from the Netherlands and/or Holland.

I have never personally understood the naming here. Is it the Netherlands or is it Holland. And if it is either one of those, why in the heck are they the Dutch??? Deutschland is Germany, so shouldn't they be the Dutch? Can't they be Netherlanders or Hollandaise? How many freaking names does this dadgum little country need?

Looking very Hollandesque. 

Speaking of names, Diesel was a four man band with some excellent rock and roll names. Let's consider them one at a time:

Rob Vunderink-lead singer. I can picture someone with a bad, exaggerated German accent saying something like, "I vas vunderink if I should change my name from Rob to Robbie."

Mark Boon-guitar. No relation to Daniel Boone. (As far as I know.)

Frank Papendrecht-bass. Could be someone's negative assessment of the Pilsbury dough boy. "Pop 'N Fresh? No, more like Papendrecht!"

And, finally, the whole reason for going over these names:

Pim Koopman-drums. Yes, that's right, the drummer's name is Pim Koopman. Go ahead and try to say it several times without slipping up once and calling him "Kim Poopman."It can't be done. This, my friend, is one of the greatest names in the storied history of rock and/or roll! Pim Koopman!!!

Apparently to other Netherlandiers, Pim Koopman is better known from his days in the band Kayak than as the drummer of Diesel. (Maybe they have diesel powered kayaks in Holland.) (Or maybe the Netherlands.) (Possibly the Dutch.)

When I looked for a video for this song, the first thing I found was this: Down In the Silvermine 1. It's not the best quality, but what do you expect from an old Hollandanian television program. The highlights are Rob Vunderink's Joker-ish grin, Mark Boon sporting a classic Diane Keaton hairdo, along with a creepy Doug Henning mustache, and the all-too-rare glimpses of a very intense Pim Koopman on the drums.

But then, with a little more digging, I hit the jackpot! The first video was somewhat amusing, but the second video is a downright hoot. Here it is: Down In the Silvermine 2 (with dancers!) Apparently this video is from some Dutchian kid show. It starts out with the creepy, winking, ringleader/host who looks like the kind of guy who always thinks he's about five times funnier than he actually is.

We see the band for an instant, but then in march the dancers! There are four attractive women in ill-fitting shiny silver jumpsuits. And, of course, these women are carrying pick-axes! These are good looking Netherlandish women, but as a dancing troupe they are not nearly as talented as the Marsh Valley High School Drill Team. (I don't mean that as an insult to the Marsh Valley Drill Team. You could, literally, pick any four girls off of the drill team and they would dance better than these four Hollandanian babes.) The dance moves are lame, they don't do them in unison, and at one point as the women are swinging their pick-axes I was actually fearful for some of the children in the front rows. (Thankfully the least competent dancer somehow misplaced her pick-axe and was left to pantomime, or someone may have lost an eye.)

The other area where this video improves upon the first one is that Kim Poopman Pim Koopman has been moved to where he is in front of the other band members, the better to show off his incredible technique. Now, I doubt that Will Ferrell and the writers on Saturday Night Live studied old Netherlandic kid show videos before making the famous "More Cowbell" sketch, but I wouldn't be shocked if they did. Watching Pim Koopman flailing away on the drums, I'm seeing the same beard as worn by Will Ferrell's character, and a similar tight shirt. I only wish they had let Pim Koopman try to explore the studio space with some cowbell. (Or maybe a pick-axe.)

COMING UP NEXT: Mmm….Turkey!

82: I Heard Them Laugh, I Heard Them Cry

82. "Dreaming of 4000" by Electric Light Orchestra [iTunes? Yes.] {Video? No.}

This song is all over the place. It starts off with a rocking guitar riff. It drifts into a slow ballad. It changes pace several times. It has great use of that early Electric Light Orchestra orchestration.

It really is a song that sounds like no other song.

It comes from the album "On the Third Day," which I think is a fantastic album from beginning to end. It's also the album that has the cover with all of the members of ELO exposing their belly buttons.

The infamous "Belly-Button" album cover! (If you look closely enough, you might even see some lint.)

While it's not exactly the greatest album cover ever, it is actually pretty funny. (I had owned the album, on cassette, for several years before I noticed all the belly-buttoning. I'm not always the most observant person in the room, but in my defense the picture on that cassette was pretty small.)

Unfortunately, as the years went by Jeff Lynne had a falling out with almost everyone else who was ever in the band. (More on that when I finally get around to writing "The Brief (Ha!) History of ELO and the ELO Family Tree of Musical Acts.") And, because of this falling out, when Lynne released the album re-issues in recent years, he changed the album cover, removing all of the belly-button pointing in favor of posing himself as God. Here's the new album cover:

And on the third day, Jeff Lynne eliminated his bandmates. And he was much pleased.

Sorry, but I prefer the belly-buttons. (If you don't believe me, just ask Barbara Eden.)

COMING UP NEXT: Diesel and dust!

83: Jonas Nordwall Has a Large Organ (And he knows how to use it)

83. "Tragedy" by Jonas Nordwall  [Nothing. No iTunes, no video. Nothing.]

Back in the day, I used to spend a fair amount of time in thrift stores looking for old records. I especially looked for odd and/or funny album covers, or albums that might contain odd and/or funny songs on them.

One subcategory of albums I would look for would be albums featuring the organ. I'm not totally sure why. Part of it might have been because of a joke once told by David Letterman discussing  the Oscar-nominated movie "The Piano" and comparing it unfavorably with a movie you might see at Times Square called "The Organ." For some reason this joke appealed to my sophomoric and/or moronic sense of humor.

Anyway, I ended up buying a few random albums of organ music. I didn't often listen to these albums, because I'm not actually a big fan of organ music. Usually. But then I saw that one of these organ albums featured a song by the name of "Tragedy."

Does the size of the organ really matter? Opinions vary.

It couldn't be the same song as "Tragedy" by the Bee Gees from their "Spirits Having Flown" album, could it? The song that is a definite Honorable Mention to the HondoJoe Top 200, my favorite Bee Gees song (slightly ahead of "You Should Be Dancing"), and a song that we played in pep band back in the day? I had to find out.

And what I found was that yes, indeed, it was "Tragedy!" But it was "Tragedy" as I had never heard it before! With Jonas Nordwall pounding it out on the organ, "Tragedy" is about as happy and fun of a song as you'll be likely to hear! (The only "tragedy" is that Nordwall's version of the song is not available on iTunes or YouTube. It really is a hoot!)

 A young Jonas Nordwall (and his large organ).

And that's how David Letterman, Barry Gibb, Robin Gibb, Maurice Gibb, Jonas Nordwall, and a very large organ conspired to help make a happy little tune called "Tragedy" one of my favorite songs of all time!

COMING UP NEXT: Dream a little dream.

84: Everybody Needs a Bosom for a Pillow

84. "Brimful of Asha" by Cornershop [iTunes? Yes.] {Video: Brimful of Asha. (It's a pretty clever video, with the band "playing" on a bunch of old 45 sleeves.)}

This one is firmly in the "I don't know why I like it so much, but I do" column. Is it the frequent repeating of the number 45, evoking days of misspent youth and misspent money on old 45 singles? Is it the generous use of the word bosom? Is it the fact that, yes, "everybody needs a bosom for a pillow?" Or is it that the song has a really good groove to it, a groove that makes me move?

Probably a little of all of the above.

This is another one of those mid-late 90s songs. I heard it and I liked it. Of course, back in those days if I really liked a song I would track it down and buy the album. Unfortunately, other than a cover of "Norwegian Wood" by the Beatles, I found the rest of Cornershop's album to be a grand overabundance of sitar. Lots and lots of sitar. (A little sitar goes a long ways.)

The 90s were an awkward time. If I liked a song in the 70s or the early 80s, I would just buy the 45. And then, once the 2000s rolled around, if I like a single I could purchase it on iTunes. But the 90s? No. You had to buy the whole album.

It was a two-edged sword. Often I would end up with useless "one-song" albums like this one from Cornershop, or the one by Nine Days, featuring "Absolutely (Story of a Girl)" and a whole bunch of unmemorable flotsam. But, occasionally I would find an album full of great songs that would turn me into a fan of a group, like what happened to me with Harvey Danger and the Old 97s.

Who knows, maybe I missed out on a bunch of great groups in the past and the present because I only bought the single. Maybe Bourgeois Tagg, Katrina and the Waves, or the other Wade Egan had albums that I would have fallen in love with if I'd only given them a chance? Was there more to M than just "Pop Muzik?" I'll probably never know.

While I think that over, I'll listen again to "Brimful of Asha" and its talk of 45s. (It's got a groove that makes me move.)

COMING UP NEXT: Your organ is showing!

85: You Really Know How to Dance

85. "What I Like About You" by the Romantics {#49; 2/80} [iTunes? Yes] {Video: What I Like About You.}

This is definitely a "what were we thinking" song. When this song was released in February of 1980, the number one song in the country was "Do That To Me One More Time" by The Captain and Tennille. Seriously. And yet, the highest that "What I Like About You" could make it on the charts is #49. Really? Really??? REALLY???

(What were we thinking?)

Of course, this song has stood the test of time a bit better than "Do That To Me One More Time." And that's probably because it is a near-perfect pop song. It is so incredible, in fact, that I think it is time for a Running Diary of What Makes This Song So Great.

For the purposes of this Running Diary of What Makes This Song So Great, I will be using the video I linked to above. The comments will be about the actual song as one would hear it on the radio, not about the video. (That said, let me just say that I was a bit surprised, and am always impressed, when it turns out the drummer is also the lead vocalist. I have a hard enough time walking and chewing gum at the same time, I can't even fathom drumming and singing simultaneously.)

So, without further ado (because there's certainly already been enough ado) here is the Running Diary of What Makes This Song So Great:

0:01-Nice guitars
0:05-Hand claps!
0:11-Hey!
0:15-Uh-huh.
0:17-Hey!
0:20-Uh-huh.
0:23-Lyrics start with the song title, are understandable, and are sing-alongable.
0:34-Yeah!
0:36-Ah-ah. (Back-up singers.)
0:42-That's what I like. (Repetitive back-up singers, singing the song title repeatedly.)
0:59-Yeah!
1:00-Ah-ah. (Back-up singers.)
1:06-That's what I like. (Repetitive back-up singers.)
1:17-SCREAM!!! (And it's a very good scream!)
1:20-Guitars.
1:30-Hey!
1:31-Harmonica solo!
2:05-Yeah!
2:07-Ah-ah. (Back-up singers.)
2:13-That's what I like. (Repetitive back-up singers.)
2:23-Exaggerated whisper!!!
2:36-Hey!
2:39-Uh-huh.
2:40-2:42-Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
2:45-Uh-huh.
2:46-Lip Blubbering!!!
2:48-Hey!
2:51-Uh-huh.
2:54-Hey!

That's some dang fine work! I've noted before that I am a big fan of hand claps, and they do a fine job of including them here. (Maybe they could have worked in one more round of hand claps? That might be asking a bit much.)

They have an excellent scream, and the multiple uses of "Hey!" are fabulous. But, I think it's the use of the exaggerated whisper and the lip blubbering that really push this song to the top. Those are two underused techniques that are very, very effective.

And then, of course, is the ending. One of the best endings of any pop and/or rock song ever. They simply give out one more yell of "Hey!", then drop the mic and walk away. Perfect!

Hey!

COMING UP NEXT: 19 Bosoms!

86: Me Looking At You, You Looking At Me

86. "That's All" by Genesis {#6; 11/83} [iTunes? Yes] {Video: That's All.}

I've said before that the HondoJoe "Cognitive Triad" of musical acts is: Electric Light Orchestra, Billy Joel, and They Might Be Giants. It wasn't always that way. Before I discovered They Might Be Giants in 1990, that third spot was up for grabs.

It was probably first occupied by Queen. Queen, obviously, has some very, very good songs, and they have always been in my Top 5 of musical acts. But, sometimes Queen could put out some stinkers, too. The aforementioned "Get Down Make Love" off the News of the World album and most of both the Jazz and Hot Space albums being good examples of badness. ("Body Language?" Really?)

So, that left an opening for someone, and in 1983 Phil Collins and Genesis made their push. Early in the year, Phil hit a chord with the solo hit "I Don't Care Anymore." And then later in the year Genesis struck with this song. Before long, Phil and Genesis were in that mythical "Cognitive Triad" spot.

(Yes, I know I've said I get annoyed when people don't separate a lead singer going solo (like Sting) and the group they are from (like The Police.) And, I still feel that way about Phil Collins and Genesis. But, I'll admit that it is difficult to differentiate the accomplishments of both entities, the solo singer and the group, in this specific case.)

Phil Collins and/or Genesis maintained that Top 3 status until the movie Buster came out. I'm not sure why I blame Buster. I never saw the movie. Maybe it's because the soundtrack was disappointing. Maybe it's because Phil started to seem a bit too smug all the time. Maybe it's because he followed Buster up by releasing crap like "Another Day In Paradise." (Really, is there a less fun song than "Another Day In Paradise?")

Anyway, "That's All" is an awesome song. The line "Why does it always seem to be me looking at you, you looking at me," reminds me of being in the band room, up on the top row with the rest of the tromboners, trying to sneak a look down at a particular girl in the woodwinds section. (Yes, the same girl I mentioned back at #95 with Dave Edmunds.) (No, I am not obsessed.) (Back in the day, maybe, but certainly not now.)

"I can't feel a thing from my head down to my toes."

COMING UP NEXT: Hay!

87: I've Just Never Been Tested

87. "The Impression That I Get" by Mighty Mighty Bosstones {#23; 12/97} [iTunes? Yes] {Video: The Impression That I Get. (Why is it these ska guys like the Mighty Mighty Bosstones and Madness are always so well dressed? Does a suit and tie make you ska better?)}

Here we are with another song from the late 90s when I was trying to "stay" "hip" and "with-it." (I used a lot of "quotation marks" back then, too.) (And parenthesis.)

This is very much a happy/sad song. It's fun to sing along with, and it's got a nice tempo with some "happy" horns. But, it does make me think of a pretty sad time. Especially the line, "Have you ever been close to tragedy, or close to folks who have?"

Back around the time this song was popular, some friends of mine did indeed have a tragedy occur. That tragedy was compounded by some very serious legal problems. For over three years this family struggled through this tragedy and its aftereffects. They fought through heartache and separation. They dealt with in-laws and outlaws. It was very difficult, but they made it through.

This songs reminds me of them and how they were able to make it through the tragedy. It reminds me that my life has been pretty damn easy. I don't know if I could have gotten through something like that the way they did. I don't know many people who could have.

So, it's a happy/sad song. Happy that I haven't had to go through that kind of tragedy. Sad that my friends did. But, ultimately happy that they were able to make it through the tragedy and still be the damn good peoples that they are.

That's the impression that I get.

COMING UP NEXT: A word from Porky Pig.

88: He Spends His Evenings Alone In His Hotel Room

88. "Spread Your Wings" by Queen [iTunes? Yes] {Video: Spread Your Wings. (Which is more noticeable, Freddie's star-shaped sunglasses, or Freddie's teeth?)}

I've bought a lot of music over the years. 8-tracks, cassettes, 45s, LPs, CDs, MP3s, downloads, and such. But, my music collection didn't really start when I started buying music. It started when my brother started buying music. (Oh sure, my sister had bought music before my brother, even joining Columbia House, but all I remember from her collection was a John Travolta LP that featured a large picture of a shirtless Vinny Barbarino, and a bunch of K-Tel records.)

I'm not sure what order he bought them, or if he bought them all at the same time, but the first three 8-tracks I remember my brother purchasing were "A New World Record" by Electric Light Orchestra, "Out of the Blue" by Electric Light Orchestra, and "News of the World" by Queen.

We listened to those three 8-tracks over and over and over again. (Except for track 3 of Queen's "News of the World," which featured the song "Get Down Make Love," which we found to be "icky.") (Listening to it as an adult, I hold by our youthful judgment. It is an "icky" song.)

"News of the World" is, of course, best known as the album featuring "We Will Rock You/We Are the Champions." On the 8-track, the song that followed that giant hit was this one, "Spread Your Wings."

It's a great, heartfelt ballad. It tells the story of Sammy, who is sweeping up the Emerald Bar. I'm not really sure exactly what the lyrics mean, but I like the way Freddie sings them.

One of the things that stood out the most to me about "News of the World" was the incredible album cover:

As a fan of comic books, I was a fan of this cover.

But it wasn't just the front cover. The inner fold was awesome, too:

True, this image wasn't available on the 8-track, but I did see the LP in record stores.

The "robot" on the album cover brought to mind the giant robotic Iron Man villain by the name of Ultimo.

Ultimo Lives! (And he will rock you!)

Is it a coincidence that the first three albums my brother bought, three albums that had such a huge influence on my musical tastes for my whole life, have album covers that feature an Iron Man villain and a spaceship? They didn't talk much about "synergy" back in the mid-70s, but I think my Star Trek and comic book love melded together with these albums to an extreme degree. Just sayin'.

COMING UP NEXT: Impressions or Impersonations?

89: Filling Out Forms, Standing In Line

89. "Allentown" by Billy Joel {#17; 11/82} [iTunes? Yes.] {Video: Allentown. (I didn't remember this video. It's not that great.)(Unless you like shirtless steel workers.)}

This is definitely a "wheelhouse" song. Released in November of 1982, it came out early in my junior year of high school. And it reminds me, probably more than any other song, of playing church basketball. Mostly because I always changed the lyrics to:

"Everyone had a pretty good shot,
but I made sure that their shot was blocked.
'Cause something happened on their way to that place,
they had a basketball slammed back in their face!"

Yes, it's pretty silly. Yes, it's pretty stupid. But, that's how I used to always sing it, and that's how it's ingrained in my memory.

And now, because no one asked for it, my Top Five people named "Allen" (or "Alan.")

5. Alan Hale Jr.

Skipper!!!!!

Yes, the main reason I like Alan Hale, Jr. is because of his close proximity to Dawn Wells and Tina Louise. Does this make me a shallow person? Probably.

4. Alan Rickman

And I haven't even seen any of the Harry Potter movies.

The dude is seriously involved in two iconic movie quotes:

"Yippee-kie-ay, mother#@$%^*!" from Die Hard 

and

"By Grabthar's Hammer, you shall be avenged!" from one of the most under appreciated movies of our time, Galaxy Quest.

3. Alan Alda

He's eaten a river of liver. (And an ocean of fish.)

Hawkeye Pierce. Come on, he's just one of the greatest characters in the history of television! (Not as great as Frank Burns, but pretty darn great.)

2. Tim Allen

Did I mention I liked Galaxy Quest?

You know, I wouldn't really consider myself a Tim Allen fan. Home Improvement? It was okay, but nothing to write home about. (I have never written home about Home Improvement.) I have never really thought, "A new Tim Allen movie? I've got to see that!" In fact, the vast majority of his movies I could care less about. That said, he happens to be the star of two of my Top Ten favorite movies of all time, Galaxy Quest and Big Trouble. (I know what you're thinking. Big Trouble? Top Ten favorite of all time? Yes. Sorry, but I am a big, big fan of Dave Barry. I want to be Dave Barry when I grow up. And I happen to think Big Trouble is a funny, funny movie. So there.)

(And besides all of that, he is also the voice of Buzz Freaking Lightyear!)

1. Alan Page

THE Purple People Eater!

Alan Page is the reason I have been a Minnesota Vikings fan for over 40 years. (I'm not sure if this is a reason I should like him or a reason I should loathe him.)

He was the first defensive player to ever win the NFL MVP award. He is in the Football Hall of Fame. And, after he retired he later became a justice on the Minnesota State Supreme Court! (Maybe he's not as qualified for the US Supreme Court as Sandra Day O'Conner, but he definitely has more quarterback sacks than her.)

COMING UP NEXT:  Ultimo lives!

   

90. Better, Better, Better, Better, Better, Better, Oh!

90. "Hey Jude" by the Beatles {#1; 9/68} [iTunes? Yes] {Video: Not the studio version of the song, but close: Hey Jude. (Worth watching the video for the nerd who looks like a young Dwight Schrute at the 3:29 mark, and for the amazingly uninterested girls at the 3:43 mark. And lots of cool sixties fashions.)}

I mentioned I liked "Na-na" songs, right? Well, the last four minutes of this song are nothing but "na-nas" and some of the best screaming you'll ever hear in a song.

Nice jackets. (THANKS!) 

Of all the songs that the Beatles released, this was their biggest hit. Why? They took a sad song….and made it better! How did they make it better? They used the Power of the Na!

(And you really should check out the uninterested girls at the 3:43 mark of the video. They are very interesting in their uninterestingness.)

COMING UP NEXT: Going for a drive up I-78.

91: You Make Me Weep

91. "Lovin', Touchin', Squeezin'" by Journey {#16; 7/79} [iTunes? Yes.] {Video: Lovin', Touchin', Squeezin'. (You have to see it to believe it!)}

Women's fashions. I had no idea I'd be writing about women's fashions when I set out to write a post about "Lovin', Touchin', Squeezin'" by Journey.

Nice blouse, Steve!

Yes, I've got something else for the "Things I Learned On the Interwebs" File. When I watched the video for this song, I was amused by the red top that brilliant and talented singer Steve Perry is wearing. And I started to write about it, calling it a "halter top."

Seriously. Nice blouse, Steve!

For all of my life, I have thought that a women's shirt, unbuttoned and tied at the bottom, was called a halter top. But now, I have discovered that I have been wrong all those years. Apparently, a "halter top" refers to the top of the shirt, not the bottom. (I probably should have figured that from the use of the word "top" in "halter top," but I didn't.) A "halter top" is a top that goes or ties around a woman's neck but does not, necessarily go over her shoulders.

I didn't think anything could top Steve's blouse. Then I met Neal's fro.

What I had always thought of as "halter tops" are actually called "tie-front shirts" or "tie-front blouses." I'd like to thank Steve Perry for helping to educate me on this subject. (Although, if I were to be truthful, I'd rather have been educated on this subject by Lynda Carter.)

As far as the song goes, obviously I like it. I like the little bit of piano at the beginning. I like the tale of heartache and woe. Of course I like the distinctive vocal stylings of Mr. Steve Perry. And, I'm a big fan of the super-long "Na-na" fade-out ending. Never underestimate the power of a good "na-na-na!"

In fact, I can think of a certain song that would have benefitted greatly from a bit of a "na-na-na." "The Breakup Song" by the Greg Kihn Band is an excellent song. But, I propose that if Greg and his band were to change the "uh-uh-uh, uh-uh-uh-uh-uh" to "na-na-na, na-na-na-na-na," the song would be much easier to sing along with, and would have landed higher on the charts than the #15 it reached in 1981.

Seriously. The next time you hear "The Breakup Song," replace the "uh-uhs" with "na-nas" and see how much more fun it is to sing.

Believe in the Power of the "Na-Na!"

COMING UP NEXT: Did someone say "na-na?"

92: Carrying Pictures of Chairman Mao

92. "Revolution" by the Beatles {#12; 9/68} [iTunes? Yes.] {Video: Revolution. (It's a good try, but the lip movements and the actual singing are just a bit off.)}

The Beatles. They were kind of a big thing. More than a little bit influential. And, pretty darn good.

This song has a lot of big selling points:
* A great, driving, guitar opening.
* The repeated jarring falsetto of "Don't you know it's gonna be."
* More times repeating "all right, all right, all right," than this side of a Matthew McConaughey impersonator convention.
* Lots and lots of patented Beatles screams. (Not actually patented.)
* And, one of the greatest lines in the history of rock and roll:

         "If you go carrying pictures of Chairman Mao, you ain't gonna make it with anyone, anyhow."

Do NOT carry this around!

And you know, to be honest, things did start to pick up for me when I finally took that picture of Chairman Mao out of my wallet on my 40th birthday.

(Actually, when I wrote the two chapters of my book that I didn't have a plot for, one of the ideas I had was that the aging, single protagonist of the story had a friend who was always planting pictures of Chairman Mao in his clothing, wallet, possessions and property as a way of razzing him for still being single. It was a decent idea that could have been milked for some humor. It's too bad I didn't have an actual plot for the story.)

COMING UP NEXT: Is that you, Mr. Whipple?

93: Feeling Like a Stumbling Fool

93. "You're Only Human (Second Wind)" by Billy Joel {#9; 7/85} [iTunes? Yes.] {Video: You're Only Human. Things we know about George Young: He's good at climbing bridges. He has a cute blonde girlfriend. He is easily distracted. He is a bad driver. He needs a new wallet. He's from the Class of '88. He's very good at catching harmonicas. He really likes blue jean vests.

(Me, I've never really understood vests. Unless it's bulletproof or part of a three-piece suit, I don't see the purpose.) (One more exception: my father-in-law uses the many pockets of his vest to smuggle contraband into Disneyland. They'll search your diaper bag, but they won't look at the vest.)

(And, in the "Things I Learned From the Interwebs" Files, the actor who played the drowning nerd with thick glasses would later go on to fame as Adam Savage, one of the hosts of the popular-ish television program Mythbusters.)}

This song was released on July 1, 1985, about two weeks before I reported to the MTC for the beginning of my two-year Mormon mission. So, since I wasn't going to be able to listen to the song for two years, I listened to it pretty much non-stop for those two weeks. (I imagine it would have been pretty difficult to be a huge Billy Joel fan and know that he came out with a new song right at the same time as a two-year departure to a strange, foreign land. I'm sure I had pity for someone in that situation while I listened to the song for the 423rd time.)

Obviously, the song also has a very good message. Over the years, I've had different periods where I fought with depression. I don't think I ever had really bad, clinical depression, more likely just the blues, doldrums, and the feel-sorry-for-myselfs. But, I never, ever got close to the point of thinking about suicide. I guess I'm the kind of guy who wants to watch the show all the way to the end, even if it's a crappy show. (Which explains why I didn't walk out of the theater during Modern Problems, possibly the worst Chevy Chase movie ever. (And that's saying a lot!))

(This, of course, is not to make light of those who have actually suffered from real depression. Never having really had it, I can't fathom how it can control people's lives. I'm just glad that my own personal funks never reached those depths.)
(Also, I think "My Own Personal Funks" would be a good album title.)

Anywho, I'd like to thank Billy Joel for making a great anti-suicide song. (And for doing so without multiple usage of the word, "damn.")

COMING UP NEXT: 45 or 33 and a third?