141: No Dark Sarcasm In the Classroom

141. "Another Brick In the Wall" by Pink Floyd {#1; 1/80} [iTunes? Yes] {YouTube: Another Brick In the Wall. (Wow, that's a cheery little video, idn't it?)}

How naive was I in 8th grade when this song came out? I didn't even know the meaning of the word "sarcasm." When I would sing along to this song (and didn't we all?) I would change the lyrics to "no Dukes of Hazzard in the classroom." Mind you, I knew the lyrics weren't "Dukes of Hazzard," but I didn't know what "dark sarcasm" meant, so I'd rather sing about one of my favorite television programs.

(My how times have changed. Sarcasm? Do I know sarcasm now? Sarcasm is my friend.)

This was an immensely popular song at the time. It's fun(-ish) to sing along with. And it has some memorable lyrics. Plus, it dares to ask the musical question: How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat? (You may have guessed by now, but I'm kind of fond of musical questions.)

COMING UP NEXT: A song that, unfortunately, was not written by Burt Bacharach. (Or Jack Kerouac.)

142: You Don't Have To Wear That Dress Tonight

142. "Roxanne" by The Police {#32; 2/79} [iTunes? Yes] {YouTube: Roxanne.}

"Roxanne" is the perfect confluence of prostitution and falsetto.

(As far as I know.) (Not that I've had any personal experience or anything.)

I'm trying to think of songs that have inspired more bad falsettos and I'm having a hard time. Sure, there are a lot of different songs featuring Steve Perry vocals that send men into the falsetto zone. And then there are the high notes on "Take On Me" by A-ha that get me every time. Also, for the older crowd, "Tiptoe Through the Tulips" by Tiny Tim. But I'd put "Roxanne" right up there at or near the top of that list.

While I'm here, let me point out a pet peeve of mine. (What? Me grumble and complain about something? That's so unlike me.) Looking up this song at various places on the interwebs, I've often found it credited to "Sting and the Police."

NO!!!

This is a song by The Police. NOT Sting and The Police. Plain and simple: The Police.

Yes, Sting was a member of The Police at the time, and yes, he was the lead singer on this song. But THIS SONG IS BY "The Police."

Likewise, it is never "Phil Collins and Genesis." It is either Phil Collins or Genesis. It is never "Lionel Richie and the Commodores." It is either Lionel Richie or the Commodores. It is never "Peter Cetera and Chicago." It is always just Chicago. (No one cares about Peter Cetera.)

I might be talked into accepting "The Police, featuring Sting" or "Genesis, featuring Phil Collins," but most days I don't like those, either. (Because I'm grumpy.)

Now, put away your makeup.

COMING UP NEXT: 8th grade: Who needs it?

143: Holy Cow, I Think He's Gonna Make It!

143. "Paradise by the Dashboard Light" by Meat Loaf {#39; 8/78} [iTunes? Yes] {No official video}

Mmmm....meatloaf! I used to regularly get the meatloaf at Frontier Pies in Pocatello. It had a glaze of barbecue sauce on it. Delicious!

Yes, I'm a hack. I couldn't write about Meat Loaf without talking about meatloaf. It just wouldn't be right.

(It doesn't have to have barbecue sauce, by the way. I'm okay with gravy, too.)

What's that? You say we're not here to talk about the food? You say you want to talk about the musician who calls himself Meat Loaf? This guy:

Not nearly as appetizing. Or meaty. (Although ham is meat, and this guy is definitely hammy.)

I like this song for a number of reasons. 1) It's darn fun to sing along with. 2) I love the baseball play-by-play interlude with Yankees announcer Phil Rizutto. 3) It's an excellent eight-minute long exercise song. The length of the song, plus the three parts to it, make it great for filling up some time during a 30 or 40 minute workout. D) It reminds me of being in Sheldon's basement. He (or Kendall) had it on record, and Sheldon introduced me to the song. He thought it was cool, so I thought it was cool, too. (Sheldon wasn't always my arbiter of "cool," but he was on this occasion.)

Of course, back then I didn't realize the sheer sextitude of the lyrics. Oh well. It's still great to fire me up when I'm on my elliptical.

COMING UP NEXT: The song that launched a million bad falsettos.

144: Communication Breakdown All Around

144. "Sweet Talkin' Woman" by Electric Light Orchestra {#17; 2/78} [iTunes? Yes] {YouTube: Sweet Talkin' Woman.}

This probably won't make any sense to you, but this is one of my absolute favorite country music songs ever. I know what you're thinking. (Besides "HondoJoe, where do you find time to juggle?") You are thinking: "Country? This song is from the height of ELO's disco phase. This ain't no country song!"

Of course, you would be right. But, I propose that the next time you hear this song you think about replacing some of the guitars and violins with some steel guitar, and then sing it with a heavy country "twang" in your voice. And then you'll realize this makes an excellent country music song! (Once you start, you can't stop. I always sing along with a country twang whenever I hear this song anymore.) (Does this make me crazy? No. I was crazy long before I started doing this.)

After seeing the video for this song, I don't feel quite as bad that I've never had the opportunity to see ELO in concert. He's a brilliant musician, but Jeff Lynne doesn't exactly have a riveting stage presence. (A giant afro and goatee can only take you so far.) (Also, in watching the video I was surprised that Jeff actually allowed a spotlight to shine occasionally on bass player Kelly Groucutt.) (And his giant afro.)

COMING UP NEXT: Where's the beef?