2: Sitting Here On Top of Everywhere

2. "Eldorado/Eldorado Finale" by Electric Light Orchestra [Video: nope.]

Why do I like this song so much? I'm not exactly sure. There are several factors in its favor. Here are a few of them:

1) It's not a well-known song. The fact that not many people have heard the song or know it makes it seem like it's my song and not everybody else's.

2) It's one of those "flying, floating" songs that I like so much.

3) It's a bit over-dramatic in places. That can be fun occasionally.

D) I love the classical orchestration of the "Eldorado Finale" portion of the song. (It's a reprise of the "Eldorado Overture" that comes before "Can't Get It Out of My Head.")

E) I don't know why I like it, I just do!

There's no place like home! (No bellybuttons were exposed in the making of this album cover.)

The album "Eldorado" was ELO's fourth album, and its first real hit. It went to #16 on the album charts, whereas the album before it, "On the Third Day" (known around these parts as "The Bellybutton Album") couldn't crack the Top 50.

I think, from top to bottom, that "On the Third Day" is a better album. Almost all of its songs are great. The album "Eldorado" has three phenomenal songs that act as tent poles to prop up all the mediocre stuff between them. It starts with "Eldorado Overture/Can't Get It Out of My Head" at the beginning of the album, then "Mister Kingdom" holds the tent up in the middle, with "Eldorado/Eldorado Finale" finishing things off with a high note at the end.

I like Jeff Lynne's vocals. "Sitting here on top of everywhere. What do I care?"

COMING UP NEXT: Finally, The End. The #1 Song on the list. (And it's not from ELO, Billy Joel, They Might Be Giants, Queen, or Midnight Oil!)

3: Here We Are Waving Brenda and Eddie Goodbye

3. "Scenes From an Italian Restaurant" by Billy Joel [Video: Scenes From an Italian Restaurant.]

Yes, this is my favorite Billy Joel song. But it wasn't always.

The very first music I purchased as a kid was the 8-track of Billy Joel's album "The Stranger." (My brother had already purchased ELO "A New World Record," ELO "Out of the Blue," and Queen "News of the World," but "The Stranger" was the first I purchased with my own money.) (It was also the only 8-track I ever purchased. I saw the writing on the wall, and when "52nd Street" came out, I bought it on cassette. My brother was still buying 8-tracks for a while longer.)

When I first listened to "The Stranger," I thought of "Scenes From an Italian Restaurant" as "that long song." I didn't really care for it. Why? Well, it was a long song, it starts off kind of slow, and, unlike most of the other songs on the album, I wasn't familiar with it.

But, given some time and some maturity, by the time I reached high school my opinion of the song had changed. While I still wasn't a huge fan of the slower "Bottle of Red" opening and closing to the song, but found the "Things Are Okay with Me These Days" and "Brenda and Eddie" parts of the song incredible.

Really, it's the "Brenda and Eddie" part that carries the song. The big waterbed. The paintings from Sears. The deep pile carpet. The Parkway Diner. (They can never go back there again.) Ah, the summer of '75! It's too bad Brenda was so lazy and Eddie couldn't afford that kind of life.

Of course, now I look at it as a bit of masterful songwriting by one of the best of all time. I think it certainly helps that the song wasn't a hit. Yes, it's a very well-known song, but it's only well-known to true Billy Joel fans. It's a song that very, very rarely gets played on the radio. It's like the great secret song you have to really search to know. It's not for everybody, just for me and the other really smart people with good taste. (Yes, I'm a really smart person with good taste.) (If you don't believe me, just ask me.)

Yes, here we are waving Brenda and Eddie goodbye!

COMING UP NEXT: Orchestral maneuvers (in the dark.)

4: I've Paid My Dues (Time After Time)

4. "We Will Rock You/We Are the Champions" by Queen {#4; 10/77} [Video: We Will Rock You;   We Are the Champions (with the iconic black and white leotard.)]

Boom-boom-clap. Boom-boom-clap.

The beat is iconic and unmistakeable. "We Will Rock You" is one of the most instantly recognizable songs ever. The beat, the clapping, the chorus. Everyone knows "We Will Rock You."

Everyone knows "We Are the Champions," too. Whenever your team wins the championship, a rendition of "We Are the Champions" is sure to follow. (Someday, Vikings. Someday.) (Someday, Jazz. Someday.)

Each song on its own is a powerhouse juggernaut. Together, they are more unstoppable than a juggernaut, if that is even possible.

I've only done karaoke in public once. My family and my brother's family were at a family pizza place in Orem, Utah. My oldest daughter, who was either two or three at the time, wanted to get up on stage and sing. She started off with "Old McDonald" and worked her way through a few other children's songs. With her inspiring us, everyone else eventually got up on stage for a song or two. (Even my father-in-law "delighted" us with a rendition of "16 Tons.")

My brother, John, chose "Piano Man" as his song. It's an excellent song, and it's fun to sing along with. But, one thing we all learned that day is that "Piano Man" is a long song. And when you are up there singing it by yourself, it seems to go on forever.

So, when it came my turn to go onstage to sing a song, I learned from my brother's mistake. I picked a very short song. I picked the exact two minute-long "We Will Rock You." And, to further assuage my possible embarrassment, I brought little Roni onstage with me to help me sing the chorus. (She may have been young, but she already knew the chorus of "We Will Rock You.") I may not have been the best karaoke singer, but I certainly wasn't the worst.

When it came time to make this list, it was a really close call between "We Will Rock You/We Are the Champions" and "Bohemian Rhapsody." Both songs were really neck and neck. So, why did I eventually choose "We Will Rock You/We Are the Champions" to be one notch higher than "Bohemian Rhapsody?" I think a lot of it has to do with when the songs came out. "Bohemian Rhapsody" first hit the charts in January of 1976, when I was still just 9 years old. I was still young enough that I didn't listen to too much radio and I never had control over what music I listened to.

"We Will Rock You/We Are the Champions" hit the charts in October of 1977. It may have only been a year and a half later, but there is a big difference between a 9 year old and an 11 year old. By late 1977, I was much more of a radio listener and much more of a fan of popular music. And "We Will Rock You/We Are the Champions" was such an amazing song that it really ingrained itself into my brain and my psyche. (Although, in the deepest reaches of my memory, KRSP, Rock 103 from Salt Lake City, which for us in Arimo, Idaho was the coolest radio station we could ever find, played the songs in the reverse order. They played "We Are the Champions" first, then followed it with "We Will Rock You." Mind you, this could be my memory playing tricks on me. It wouldn't really make sense, because on the album they are in their traditional order. And yet, that's the way I think I remember it was.)

Anyway, they are two damn fantastic songs, and when you put them together: wow!

COMING UP NEXT: The softer side of Sears.

5: Is This Just Fantasy?

5. "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen {#9; 1/76---#2;3/92} [Video: Bohemian Rhapsody.]

Rock opera. That's what they call "Bohemian Rhapsody."

Me, I've never been to an actual opera. (Unless you count Phantom of the Opera, which I don't think you should because I think it is a play and not an opera. Even though it has the word "Opera" right there in the title.)

This song is, of course, a big bombastic blast from the past. I remember, as a kid, hearing Casey Kasem on his "American Top 40" program, say that this was the most expensive song ever recorded. (That was a long time ago, though. I'd bet that these days it probably costs more to get Beyonce's fishnet wrangler into the studio than it cost to make "Bohemian Rhapsody.")

Just four guys, singing a little tune.

The thing that makes this song so good is that, well, it is so darn GOOD. For Christmas this year we got a karaoke machine. The kids love it. We got them some kid music for the machine (including the obligatory Frozen karaoke disc.) And, The Wife got me some 80s music and big four-disc set of party favorites, not by the original artists. "Bohemian Rhapsody" is on one of those discs. And, as soon as the kids heard the song, they glommed right onto it. They gravitated right towards "Bohemian Rhapsody!" Because it is such a great darn song! Even when sung by the "Karaoke Express Singers" or whoever the heck it is that sings the song on the karaoke disc. (I feel I must expose them soon and often to the real version by Queen, so they can enjoy the song in its full greatness.)

The song also follows the many-different-songs-in-one format that I like so much. There is:

1) The "No Escape from Reality" beginning.

2) The "Mama, I Just Killed a Man" ballad.

3) The "Scaramouch Fandango" opera part.

D) The "So You Think You Can" guitar rock-out part.

and E) The "Nothing Really Matters" ending.

Great, great stuff. I can't believe it only made it to #9 when first released back in 1976. (Songs that did make it to #1 in 1976? "Convoy." "Theme from S.W.A.T." "Theme from Welcome Back, Kotter." "Afternoon Delight." All wonderful songs, but come on, seriously?)

Of course, the song had a major renaissance when it was used in a scene from the movie Wayne's World, with the characters from the movie singing along whilst driving in their car. That scene, of course, reminded me of a time several years earlier when a couple of doofuses sat in the back seat of the high school band tour bus and sang this song into a tape recorder. We were Wayne and Garth long before Wayne and Garth were.

Party on, Garth! (Any way the wind blows.)

COMING UP NEXT: A song for the Vikings and the Jazz. (Someday.) (Maybe.)

6: He'll Rip Your Lungs Out, Jim!

6. "Werewolves of London" by Warren Zevon {#21; 3/78} [Video: Werewolves of London. (Nice werewolf. Thanks!)]

I cannot name one song by Warren Zevon other than "Werewolves of London." None.

Before sitting down to write this, I could tell you two things about Warren Zevon:
1) He sang "Werewolves of London."
B) He died of cancer, and shortly before he passed away he made a heartfelt, emotional appearance on The Late Show with David Letterman.

That's it. That's all I know.

Now, I get the feeling that I'm missing out. Zevon was well liked and well respected. He apparently put out a lot of excellent music. I feel like I should look into it more. Maybe I should listen to his other stuff. (If it's half as good as "Werewolves of London," it would certainly be worth it.) I might actually discover more great music to like.

He kind of looks like John Denver. Or maybe he just beat up John Denver and stole his glasses. (Draw blood!)

So, no, I don't know much about Warren Zevon, but what I do know is this: This song is FANTASTIC!!!

It's fun, it's funny, it's clever, it's weird, it's bouncy, and it's certifiably sing-along-able!

The opening piano riff is jaunty and joyous, and puts a smile on my face every time. (The only problem with it is that the turd-juggler known as Kid Rock stole the piano bit, mashed it up with the highly overrated "Sweet Home Alabama," and made a "new" song that makes me want to punch him in the face every time I hear it.)

The lyrics, of course, are superb, from the opening line ("I saw a werewolf with a Chinese menu in his hand, walking through the streets of Soho in the rain.") to the very last line, "I saw a werewolf drinking a pina colada at Trader Vic's. His hair was perfect.")

There's more! Like, "He's the hairy-handed gent who ran amok in Kent." (Why are people who are amok always running? Does anyone ever stand amok?)

There's, "You better stay away from him, he'll rip your lungs out, Jim."

And don't forget Lon Chaney and Lon Chaney, Jr. walking with the queen.

But that's not all! There is, as was pointed out to me by a somewhat psychotic junior high English teacher, perhaps the greatest line of alliteration ever sung in a song, "Little old lady got mutilated late last night."

Oh, and did I mention the werewolf howls? Lots and lots of werewolf howls!!!
"Aaahooo!"
"Aaahooo!"
"Aaahooo!"

The only thing that's missing (besides maybe some hand-claps) is a series of follow-up songs:
"The Werewolves of Munich"
"The Werewolves of Brisbane"
"The Werewolves of Tampa"
"The Werewolves of Inkom."

COMING UP NEXT: It's just a fantasy. (Or is it?)