7: No Help, No Help From You

7. "Thunderstruck" by AC/DC [Video: Thunderstruck.]

There have been a lot of Australians (or "Ozzies") on this HondoJoe Top 200. We've had a few songs from Met At Work. There was INXS. And, of course, a bunch from Midnight Oil. But here we have the top song by an act from Australia: "Thunderstruck" by AC/DC!

If this song doesn't get you pumped up, I don't know what will. It's got a great build-it-up-a-piece-at-a-time beginning. It starts with some guitar. Next, some chanting of "Uh-ahh-ahh-uh-ahh." Then we get the "Thunder!" shouts, accompanied by some pounding drums. Next, the lead singer joins in on the "Thunder!" shouts, and we get another layer of guitars. Finally, the silky-smooth voice of the lead singer breaks into some lyrics.

My kids really like this song. They'll join in on both the "Uh-ahh-ahh-uh-ahh" and "Thunder!" chants.

Before this song I always kinda liked AC/DC. Some of their songs were pretty good, and they definitely knew how to rock, and I saluted them for that. But, this song is just on such another level of awesomeness. The guitars, the drums, the screeching vocals all blend together perfectly.

And, of course, it also helps that they are easy on the eyes!

It's Mr. No-Neck and his sidekick Mr. I'm-Too-Old-To-Be-Wearing-These-Shorts

(I've always thought of AC/DC as the world's most rockingest boy band!)

COMING UP NEXT: Do you like pina colada?

8: He Was Afraid (Uh Oh!)

8. "The Diary of Horace Wimp" by Electric Light Orchestra [Video: The Diary of Horace Wimp.]

Gee, I wonder why I would like this song so much? It's the story of my life. (Actually, it's not the story of my life. Being late for work has never really been a problem for me. The rest of the song pretty much applies to me, but not that part.)

Belly buttons? Not today.

Apparently, the song was released as a single in England and was a Top Ten hit. But in the USA it was only an album cut.

I always like when someone tweaks the chorus of a song, but only if there is a reason to do so. The first two times it is "Horace Wimp, is this your life? Go out and find yourself a wife." But, for the last verse it is "Horace Wimp, is this your wife? Go out and find yourself a life."

I always have wondered, though, what happened to Saturday? I understand why there isn't a "Saturday" verse, because it would throw off the timing with an odd number of verses. But, why couldn't they throw in a "Saturday" at the end when the chorus is listing off the days of the week? It actually fits in nicely, if you give it a try.

Over the course of this whole HondoJoe Top 200 experience, I've tweaked the rankings occasionally as I've gone along. (The last time I did I flipped "You May Be Right" up one to #15, while dropping "Hold the Line" down to #16.)

I almost changed the ranking of this song at the last minute, moving it up two or three notches. Why? Well, the song has a new connection with me. Over the last few weeks I've been singing it, sometimes with the real lyrics and sometimes with altered lyrics, as a lullaby for my baby Charlee. Mostly I change the words to "Close your eyes and go to sleep," but when I first start she will usually give me a good smile when I sing the "doo-bow doo-bow doo-bow doodly-doodly doo-bow" part. (She thinks I'm funny.) (Somebody has to.)

COMING UP NEXT: Our final visit from Australia!

9: Paul Is a Real Estate Novelist

9. "Piano Man" by Billy Joel {#25; 2/74} [Video: Piano Man (The official video.) And then there is this gem, the original music video for "Piano Man," which features some nice, authentic 1970s peoples: Piano Man (Original 1970s version).]

Here it is, the quintessential Billy Joel song! All of our old friends are here: John at the bar; Paul, the real estate novelist; Davy (who's still in the navy); the waitress; and the old man who seems to be doing who knows what to that tonic and gin. (Dude, get a room!)

(While I'm here, a question. Is Paul a real estate agent who happens to write novels, or is he a novelist who writes about real estate?)

It's a great song. There's some fine harmonica work. There's some "la la la diddy dahs." It is an excellent song.

So, doesn't it seem a little low on the list? Only at #9? If this is the quintessential Billy Joel song, and if I'm such a Billy Joel fan, shouldn't it be a bit higher?

Well, probably. But, the song has three things against it. 1) For one thing, it's almost too popular. It's hard for it to be my favorite song if it is everyone else's favorite song, too.

2) There's the issue of the stupid, chopped up, edited version that's still floating around out there. Every time I hear the edited version, which goes right from John at the bar to the waitress, skipping over Paul and Davy, I get very, very angry. So, as I listen to the song and it's the edited version, I get really angry. And, if I listen to the song and it's not the edited version, there's still a few seconds of annoying anticipation in there where I'm afraid it might be the edited version. I hate the edited version.

And finally, C) there is a little bit too much of an ego in this song. "It's me they've been coming to see." "Man, what are you doing here?" It's got that hint of selfishness and arrogance. A little too much, "I sure am great, aren't I?" (Yes, he is great, but a little humility goes a long way.)

Still, these things only cloud the song up a little bit. It's still easily one of my ten favorite songs of all time!

******************************************

Over his career, Billy Joel had 42 different songs land in the Billboard Hot 100. Of those 42, eleven made it into the HondoJoe Top 200, with "Piano Man" being the highest ranking of those eleven. So, here are the 42 hits of Billy Joel, ranked in HondoJoe order:

1. "Piano Man" Hondo #9 {#25; 2/74}
2. "You May Be Right" Hondo #15 {#7; 3/80}
3. "Big Shot" Hondo #21 {#14; 2/79}
4. "Lullabye" Hondo #26 {#77; 3/94}
5. "She's Got a Way" Hondo #71 {#23; 11/81}
6. "Allentown" Hondo #89 {#17; 11/82}
7. "You're Only Human (Second Wind)" Hondo #93 {#9; 7/85}
8. "Pressure" Hondo #102 {#20; 9/82}
9. "Sometimes a Fantasy" Hondo #107 {#36; 10/80}
10. "Movin' Out" Hondo #140 {#17; 3/78}
11. "Tell Her About It" Hondo #165 {#1; 7/83}
12. "It's Still Rock and Roll To Me" {#1; 5/80} ("Should I try to be a straight A student?")
13. "The Longest Time" {#14; 3/84} (Came out in Spring of the year I graduated high school, and has a high school reunion themed video. Why isn't this higher?)
14. "And So It Goes" {#37; 10/90} (I like the simple piano ballads, even if they are sad.)
15. "An Innocent Man" {#10; 12/83} (A note so high Billy wouldn't sing it in concerts.)
16. "Honesty" {#24; 4/79} ("Mostly what I need from you.")
17. "My Life" {#3; 11/78} ("I don't care what you say anymore.")
18. "River of Dreams" {#3; 7/93} (I initially didn't like the gospel-ish sound of it, but it's definitely grown on me over the years.)
19. "Travelin' Prayer" {#77; 8/74} (Fun early HillBilly Joel!)
20. "Say Goodbye to Hollywood" {#17; 9/81} (I really like Songs In the Attic more than I should.)
21. "Keeping the Faith" {#18; 1/85} ("The good old days weren't always good, and tomorrow ain't as bad as it seems.")
22. "She's Always a Woman" {#17; 8/78} (Would probably be higher if "she" seemed a little nicer. (I don't want to be cut.))
23. "Leave a Tender Moment Alone" {#27; 7/84} ("Just when I'm in a serious mood, she is suddenly quiet and shy.")
24. "I Go To Extremes" {#6; 1/90} (Some great piano pounding.)
25. "We Didn't Start the Fire" {#1; 10/89} (An even better "history lesson" song than "Rasputin," "The Night Chicago Died," and "Major Tom.")
26. "The Entertainer" {#34; 11/74} ("I'll be put in the back in the discount rack like another can of beans.")
27. "Just the Way You Are" {#3; 11/77} (An excellent song, but it's gone through a bit too much Sinatra-fication over the years.)
28. "Only the Good Die Young" {#24; 5/78} (Loses a lot of points for the message of the lyrics.)
29. "This Is the Time" {#18; 11/86} (Remember that time I was making a list ranking the hits of Billy Joel? That was awesome!)
30. "A Matter of Trust" {#10; 8/86} (Since I was on my mission when it came out, I didn't hear anything from the album The Bridge until a year or so after it came out. And I prefer "Running On Ice" and "Big Man On Mulberry Street" to any of the songs that were released as "hits.")
31. "Don't Ask Me Why" {#19; 8/80} (One of my least favorite songs from the album Glass Houses, and yet it's still a pretty good song.)
32. "The Night Is Still Young" {#34; 10/85} ("Rock and roll music was the only thing I ever gave a damn about.")
33. "Uptown Girl" {#3; 9/83} (It really is a pretty silly song. With a very silly video.)
34. "To Make You Feel My Love" {#50; 8/97} (Billy's final charting single, written by Bob Dylan. I've heard other versions of the song, but I prefer Billy's.)
35. "Modern Woman" {#10; 6/86} (Is it just me, or does this song seem like a bit of a rehash of "Easy Money?")
36. "Downeaster Alexa" {#57; 5/90} ("Tell my wife that I'm trolling Atlantis.")
37. "Goodnight Saigon" {#56; 3/83} (Sorry, never one of my favorites. It always seemed to me that Billy was trying a bit too hard with this one.)
38. "All About Soul" {#29; 11/93} (Meh. So many better songs from this album that weren't released: "Blonde Over Blue," "Shades of Gray," "No Man's Land," to name a few.)
39. "Baby Grand" {#75; 4/87} (No disrespect intended to Ray Charles, but this song never did anything for me.)
40. "Worse Comes to Worst" {#80; 6/74} (If there's a better song about a "woman in New Mexico," I haven't heard it.)
41. "All Shook Up" {#92; 8/92} (From the movie Honeymoon In Vegas, a rare Nicholas Cage movie that is actually watchable.)
42. "That's Not Her Style" {#77; 8/90} (This song is so nondescript that I actually couldn't remember how it went. I had to actually listen to it. And when I did, I was unimpressed.)

COMING UP NEXT: What about Saturday?

10: Time Is Still Marching On

10. "Older" by They Might Be Giants [Video: Older.]

By the time I went to my first They Might Be Giant concert, I was a really big fan of the band. I found out they were coming to Salt Lake City, and I really, really wanted to see them live. So, I got a couple of tickets to their show at the Utah State Fair grounds. I ended up taking a date, a girl I knew who, for our purposes today we'll call "Nancy." 

The night had its highs and lows (including having to stand there seemingly forever waiting for the band to come out on stage), but one of the biggest highs was when They played a song I had not heard before. It was a fairly simple song, but it was catchy and pretty funny. "You're older than you've ever been, and now you're even older. And now you're even older. And now you're even older." At that point I thought I knew all of They Might Be Giants' songs, but this one was new to me.

When the concert was over, I did all I could to find a recording of the song, but to no avail. I couldn't find it anywhere. 

Several months later, They Might Be Giants came back to town, and once again I desperately wanted to see their show. I convinced one of my best friends and his wife to drive several hours in order to go to the concert with me. It was an excellent concert, despite the venue being a closed down store. And, once again, They sang this song. Again, I loved the song, but I was still frustrated by my inability to own the song and play it whenever I wanted.

Finally, They Might Be Giants put the song "Older" on the soundtrack album for the television series Malcolm In the Middle. And I finally was able to own a recording of this awesome song.

My favorite part of the song is the exaggerated pause between "Time" and "is still marching on." (This exaggerated pause can best be seen here, in this performance of the song from Late Night with Conan O'Brien: Older (Conan).)

One of the best features of this song, of course, is that it makes an excellent birthday song. To this day, whenever eating out at a restaurant and the waiters and waitresses gather around someone to clap hands and sing some version of a happy birthday song, I sing this song along with them. It's the best birthday song ever!

And now, you're older still.

COMING UP NEXT: 88 keys to life.

11: What's That Blue Thing Doing Here?

11. "Fingertips" by They Might Be Giants [Video: Nope. But there is this fun little video made by a They Might Be Giants/Star Wars fan: Fingertips (Star Wars).]

The first They Might Be Giants album I owned was "Flood," which contained the hits "Istanbul" and "Birdhouse In Your Soul." The follow-up album was titled "Apollo 18," and it had this "song" near the end of it.

I put "song" in quotation marks because I'm not really sure if it is a song or not. It is actually 21 little songs or snippets of songs that are smushed together. Is it a song, or is it 21 different little songs?

Of those 21 "songs," some are, of course, better than others. My favorites include:
"What's That Blue Thing Doing Here?"
"Please Pass the Milk, Please"
"I'm Having a Heart Attack"
"I Found a New Friend Underneath My Pillow"
and "Aren't You the Guy Who Hit Me In the Eye."

Apparently, the idea was to have 21 choruses of songs, so that the whole thing kind of sounded like a K-Tel commercial. You see, this is why I like They Might Be Giants so much. All of life should be like a K-Tel commercial!

John and/or John

Also, They Might Be Giants recommended that listeners play the album "Apollo 18" in shuffle mode, so that the 21 song snippets from "Fingertips" would be interspersed randomly among all the other songs from the album. And, I've got to admit, it is a bit jarring and fun to finish listening to some long song (like "Paradise By the Dashboard Light") only to have it followed by nine seconds of "What's That Blue Thing Doing Here?"

They Might Be Giants are a creative crew, and this song is pretty much at the height of their creativity.

COMING UP NEXT: Happy Birthday! (How did you know?)

12: Oh, Those Russians!

12. "Rasputin" by Boney M [Video: Rasputin. (Nice cape!)]

This song has no business being this high on the HondoJoe Top 200. It really doesn't. It is a stupid song. It is a silly song. It is a song about a Russian, sung by a German, lip-synched by a guy from Aruba. It is an idiotic song.

And yet, every time I hear it, I smile.

It's a very fun song. It starts off with a disco-ish, Russian-ish beat. When I hear the music, I want to do that Russian dance, you know, the one where I have my arms folded and kick my legs forward, one at a time, from a squatting position. I want to dance like a cossack. (True, I can't actually physically do that dance, but I still feel like I want to do that dance.)

Boney M in full, lip-synching action!

My favorite part of the song is the "news report" in the middle of the song. "But when his drinking and lusting and hunger for power became known to more and more people, the desire to do something about the outrageous man became louder and louder." I can't decide if the guy sounds more like Tom Brokaw or Ted Koppel. (Actually, it sounds more like Chris Parnell doing an imitation of Ted Koppel.) Either way, it's the best!

Boney M was the brainchild of a German named Frank Farian, who happens to be the same guy behind Milli Vanilli. Apparently, Boney M was very popular in England and in Europe. The song "Rasputin" was a big hit over there, and a humongous #1 smash in Canada, but it didn't even make the charts here in the United States. (Although I do definitely remember hearing it on the radio in Idaho back in the day.)

"Oh, those Russians!"

COMING UP NEXT: One song, or twenty-one songs?

13: It Belongs to Them (Let's Give It Back)

13. "Beds Are Burning" by Midnight Oil {#17; 4/88} [Video: Beds Are Burning.]

You know, I'm sure a lot of people think of Midnight Oil as a "one hit wonder." That's too bad, because they had several good albums before this song on the "Diesel and Dust" album, and they had several good albums after this song, too.

But, when you think of Midnight Oil, this is the song you think of, and rightfully so. It's a fantastic song. Before it, I had never heard anyone with a voice quite like that of Peter Garrett's. (I had also never seen a dancing style quite like Peter Garrett's, either.)

How can we dance?

During my first year at Idaho State University, I played me some church basketball. I was the backup center on a really good team. We didn't lose a single game in the regular season, didn't lose a single game in the stake tournament, and didn't lose a single game in the regional tournament, until the championship game, when we lost by about 20 points. I didn't play much, but I did get out on the floor for a several minutes every game. Before every game I would get myself pumped up by listening to "Beds Are Burning." (I'm sure that's how the guys from Midnight Oil intended their song to be used.)

(Actually, looking back, I'm not too proud of my time on that particular church ball team. I found out later from a good source, the stake athletic director, (my brother John), that after one of our games some of my teammates made some disparaging racist remarks to a black guy on the other team. I didn't play organized church ball again for about 15 years.)

One of the things about this song that particularly stands out to me is the use of the trombone. As someone who played (or attempted to play) the trombone in high school, the fact that the song has a couple of great trombone slides in it, including one at the very end of the song, is absolutely incredible!

As trombone players we were always trying to insert trombone slides into any and/or all of the songs we played. We finally succeeded in getting one in when we played the "NFL Today" Theme. It was a great triumph for the trombone section. We really thought all songs could be improved by a trombone slide here or there. "Beds Are Burning" certainly goes a long way at proving us right!


COMING UP NEXT: Back in the USSR!

14: Hey You With the Pretty Face

14. "Mr. Blue Sky" by Electric Light Orchestra {#35; 6/78} [Video: Mr. Blue Sky (Official 2012 Video).]

From the time I first started formulating the HondoJoe Top 200 until this finalized version, no song climbed higher from its initial listing than this one. I originally had it at song #104. But then I'd hear it and think, "No, that's got to be higher." So, I'd move it up. And I kept doing that again and again and again until it finally ended up all the way here at #14. 

Part of that is because "Mr. Blue Sky" has become the quintessential ELO song. During the London Olympics, when they were playing songs by famous English artists at the Olympic stadium, when it came time for ELO the song they chose was "Mr. Blue Sky." When Jeff Lynne performed at this year's Grammy Awards show, the song he sang was "Mr. Blue Sky." (It has also been used frequently in movies and movie trailers in recent years.)

"Mr. Blue Sky" wasn't the biggest ELO hit, but it is the song that has endured in the public consciousness more than any other ELO song. And why not? It's a damn good song. It's peppy and upbeat and happy and fun. It's a cheerful, joyous, wonderful song!

An image from the "Official 2012" Mr. Blue Sky video.

That being said, there is a bit of an annoying story that goes with the "Official 2012" video that I linked to above. In 2012, Jeff Lynne released a "new" greatest hits album, titled "Mr. Blue Sky: The Very Best of Electric Light Orchestra." Unlike other ELO greatest hits collections, of which there are many, this one was actually "new." That's because Jeff Lynne re-recorded all of the hits, making them sound so close to the original recordings that it would be very hard to differentiate them for the average fan.

Why did he do this? According to Jeff Lynne he did it because with the advances of technology and such, he could make the old songs sound better than the original versions.

However, there are cynics who say he meticulously re-recorded his old songs so that when they get used in movies, movie trailers, or commercials, he can use the "new" recordings of the songs so he doesn't have to pay any money to his original band mates for the use of the original songs. Yes, Jeff Lynne wrote and sang all of those songs, but it still seems a little skeevy to me.

*************************

The Electric Light Orchestra had 25 songs that charted on the Billboard Hot 100. Of those songs, remarkably only five are on the HondoJoe Top 200, and this is the highest one of those. And now, because no one asked for it, here is a ranking of those 25 songs on the HondoJoe scale:

1. "Mr. Blue Sky" Hondo #14 {#35; 6/78}

2. "Do Ya" Hondo #23 {#24; 2/77}

3. "Eldorado Overture/Can't Get It Out of My Head" Hondo #40 {#9; 12/74}

4. "Don't Bring Me Down" Hondo #64 {#4; 8/79}

5. "Sweet Talkin' Woman" Hondo #144 {#17; 2/78}

6. "Turn To Stone" {#13; 11/77} (Gotta love that "fast-talking" section!)

7. "Twilight" {#38; 10/81} (Excellent drum work by Bev Bevan!)

8. "Strange Magic" {#14; 3/76} (Great dreamy ballad.)

9. "Telephone Line" {#7; 6/77} ("Hello. How are you? Have you been alright through all those lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely nights?")

10. "Last Train to London" {#39; 12/79} (Disco music at its finest.)

11. "Hold On Tight" {#10; 7/81} (Simultaneously wins and loses points for having a verse in French.)

12. "Roll Over Beethoven" {#42; 4/73} (The perfect marriage between rock and classical!)

13. "I'm Alive" {#16; 5/80} (Like a first-person version of "Born To Be Alive.")

14. "Four Little Diamonds" {#86; 10/83} (A fine "she done me wrong" song.)

15. "Showdown" {#53; 12/73. Then again: #59; 8/76} (Used perfectly in the Bill Murray/Woody Harrelson bowling movie Kingpin.)

16. "Shine a Little Love" {#8; 5/79} (I still wonder if "Don't Bring Me Down" would have made it to #1 if it had been the first song released off of the "Discovery" album instead of this nice disco number.)

17. "Daybreaker" {#87; 5/74} (A bouncy little instrumental song from The Belly-Button Album "On the Third Day.")

18. "Livin' Thing" {#13; 10/76} (Great violin work by Mik Kaminski.)

19. "Evil Woman" {#10; 11/75} (One of ELO's most well-known hits, but not my favorite.)

20. "Calling America" {#18; 2/86} (ELO's final charting hit. It's okay.)

21. "Rock 'N' Roll Is King" {#19; 6/83} (Almost an exact rip-off of "Hold On Tight," but without the French verse.)

22. "It's Over" {#75; 10/78} (A nice enough song, but there are more than half a dozen other songs from "Out of the Blue" that would have been better to have released as a single.)

23. "All Over the World" {#13; 8/80} (It's a fine song, but I'm just not much of a "party" person.)

24. "Confusion" {#37; 10/79} (Much like "It's Over," I felt there were many other songs on the album that would have done much better if they had been released.)

25. "Xanadu" (with Olivia Newton John) {#8; 8/80} (Come on, it's an Olivia Newton John song, not an ELO song.)

COMING UP NEXT: That's why you need a fire extinguisher in every room.

15: We All Enjoyed the Weekend (For a Change)

15. "You May Be Right" by Billy Joel {#7; 3/80} [Video: You May Be Right. (But, for some reason the last bit of the song is cut off.)]

Here's the lead-off song from my favorite Billy Joel album. (I love the breaking glass sound effect before the song starts.)

Don't throw it, Billy!

This song is involved with one of my favorite stories from my youth. (I've already written about this experience. Here's a link to that story: Dirty Jokes and Lemonade.) The lead singer of the live band at a Youth Conference dance felt the need to change the lyrics from "I told you dirty jokes." Unfortunately for him, he originally changed it to "I told you dirty stories," which actually makes it worse. Then, the next time he sang the song, he changed it to "I gave you lemonade."

It's a great song for questioning one's sanity:
"You say that only proves that I'm insane."
"You may be right, I may be crazy."
"It just may be a lunatic you're looking for."

COMING UP NEXT: Today's forecast.

16: The Things That You Say That You'll Do

16. "Hold the Line" by Toto {#5; 10/78} [Video: Hold the Line.]

Plain and simple, this is an absolutely well-crafted pop/rock song. It's well written. It's well played. It's well sung. It's about as close to perfect as a pop/rock song can be. (My main nitpick would be with the lyrics. "Hold the line. Love isn't always on time." What exactly does that mean? I don't know. Not that it really matters.) (My second nitpick? Couldn't they have found some place in the song to throw in a few hand claps?)

There are so many great things about this song, and that's not even counting the fun from the video. (I mean, I could mention that the lead singer has a Dan Dierdorf/corrupt-cop-from-an-episode-of-McCloud vibe to him. Or how the guitar player is wearing Doug Henning/Mork from Ork rainbow suspenders. Or that the keyboard player has good Jeff Lynne facial hair, but needs to work on his afro. I could, but why would I?)

No, the music itself has plenty of great features. Features like:
*The opening drums
*The opening piano pounding
*Great guitar riff
*Falsetto!
*Multiple "Ooo ooo ooos"
*Multiple "Whoa, whoa, whoas"
*More fun sing-along falsetto!
*Repeated falsetto! ("Love isn't, love isn't always on time!")
*"Whoa, whoa, whoa" ending.

It's just absolutely great!

COMING UP NEXT: It's Saturday? I'm sorry.

17: Saving the World From Solomon Grundy

17. "Superman's Song" by Crash Test Dummies {#56; 10/91} [Video: Superman's Song.]

Learn something new everyday. I did not know that this song was a "hit." I never heard it when it "skyrocketed" to #56 on the charts in 1991. It wasn't until Crash Test Dummies big hit, "Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm," shot up to #4 on the charts in 1994 that I had ever heard of the group. I liked the song, so I bought the album. I liked the album, so I bought their previous album, "Ghosts That Haunt Me," which contains "Superman's Song."

I really like the lumbering low voice of lead singer Brad Roberts. He's one of the few singers that I feel I can really sing along with and hit all most a significant portion of the notes.

Superman is great. He really is. But did they really have to tear down Tarzan in order to make Superman look good? "Tarzan was king of the jungle and lord over all the apes. But he could barely string together four words: I Tarzan, you Jane." (It's like if you were talking about how Tom Brady is the greatest New England Patriot quarterback ever. You really wouldn't need to point by point compare him to Steve Grogan.)

As I've mentioned before, the mix tape that I made of "Superman" songs has been very popular with my family. I was really surprised, not long after they started listening to it, when my wife was walking around the house singing this song. It's a weird, weird song, and I thought only someone as weird as me would like it. And maybe children, because children are weird. I thought my wife was a bit more normal than that, but here she was, walking around singing "Superman's Song" by the Crash Test Dummies! (Of course, she did marry me, so I probably underestimated her weirdness factor.)

And now, for no particular reason, here are my Top 7 Lois Lanes from television and movies:

7. Kate Bosworth

Horribly miscast. Horrible movie.

6. Noel Neill

Not really her fault. The television show paired her off with Jimmy Olsen more than with Clark/Superman.

5. Margot Kidder

A little too smokes-three-packs-a-day for me.

4, Amy Adams

I'll be honest, I haven't seen the movie. So, she might be higher or lower on this list. (But I do like her in other things.)

3. Phyllis Coates

The world needs more women named "Phyllis!"

2. Teri Hatcher

Unfortunately for her, gets downgraded a bit for that "clone-who-needs-to-eat-frogs-to-survive" storyline.

1. Erica Durance

Edges out Hatcher with a slightly higher "spunk-over-ditzy" ratio.

COMING UP NEXT: Kansas? Not anymore.

18: Don't Call Me Baby

18. "One Country" by Midnight Oil [Video: One Country.]

After my mission, I spent a year at BYU, then left to move to Pocatello to go to Idaho State University. I moved in with a good friend, but he soon left me for a younger woman. I moved into a place of my own for a few months, but then got an offer to roommate with an old acquaintance from my mission.

It wasn't too long after I moved in with Dean that Midnight Oil came out with their "Blue Sky Mining" album, their follow-up to their breakthrough "Diesel and Dust." (Both albums are great.) As roommates, Dean and I had some arrangements. I bought most of the food. He did almost all of the cooking. I did most of the dishes. (And then, eventually, he left me for a younger woman, too.)

I didn't like to do dishes. I would usually procrastinate. So, when I finally did get around to doing the dishes, there was a pretty big pile of them. To help me get through the doing of the dishes, I would usually put an album on and crank it. The album I chose more than any other (or at least the album I most associate with doing dishes in that basement apartment) was "Blue Sky Mining" by Midnight Oil.

"Blue Sky Mine" and "Forgotten Years" were the songs from that album that got some radio air time, and they are both excellent songs. But, for me, the standout song from the album was "One Country." It's a dynamic ballad. A few years ago I was talking to Dean, and somehow the group Midnight Oil came up. "Oh, they had that one song," he said, and I knew exactly which song he meant. (One of the few times someone talking about "that one song" by Midnight Oil wasn't referring to "Beds Are Burning.")

Look, they're almost even smiling!

"Blue Sky Mining," with "One Country" on it was released in February of 1990. In 1991, U2 came out  with their "Achtung Baby" album, which featured a song called "One." At the time, and to this day, I've thought that U2's "One" is just a bit too similar to Midnight Oil's far superior "One Country." Maybe it's just me.

I also think that U2's "Vertigo" has a guitar riff that is very similar to one from Midnight Oil's "Redneck Wonderland." Does U2 listen to Midnight Oil albums for inspiration? Probably not. But, who can say?

Who would win a fight between U2 and Midnight Oil? I have no doubt it would be Midnight Oil. Even if Peter Garret decided to be a pacifist and not fight, he would still probably knock Bono out with one of his inadvertent arm flails while singing.

"Who wants to please everyone?

  Who says it all can be done?

   Still sit upon that fence?

   No one I've heard of yet!"

"Don't call me baby. Don't talk in maybes."

COMING UP NEXT: Not the favorite song of Edgar Rice Burroughs.

19: We Choose Between Reality and Madness

19: "Summer, Highland Falls" by Billy Joel [Video: Nope, but there is this one, where he explains why he wrote the song: Summer, Highland Falls (Explained).]

When I bought Billy Joel's "Songs In the Attic" album, this is the song that jumped out at me. It's so simple, so clean, and so wonderful. The music is great, the lyrics are fantastic! It's a very well-written song.

"They say that these are not the best of times, but they're the only times I've ever known."
"A time for meditation in cathedrals of our own."
"For we are always what our situations hand us, it's either sadness or euphoria."
"For all our mutual experience, our separate conclusions are the same."
"Our reason coexists with our insanity."
"And though we choose between reality and madness, it's either sadness or euphoria."
"Perhaps we don't fulfill each other's fantasies."
"And as we stand upon the ledges of our lives, with our respective similarities, it's either sadness or euphoria."

It's just a great, great song. Would it be better if it were named "Sadness or Euphoria" instead of "Summer, Highland Falls?" Probably not.

COMING UP NEXT: Are U2 thieves?

20: You're Living In a Disco

20. "Pop Muzik" by M {#1; 8/79} [Video: Pop Muzik. And: Pop Muzik 2.]

This is definitely another "wheelhouse" song. 1979 was an important year for the formulation of my musical taste, and this particular song is pretty much pop music perfection.

There are lots of fun lyrics:
"Shuffle with the shoe shine."
"Mix me a molotov."
"You're living in a disco, forget about the rat race."
"Wanna be a gunslinger? Don't be a rock singer."

I especially like the way he works "Fe fi fo fum," "Eeny-meeny-miney-mo," and "Knick-knack-paddywhack" into the lyrics. Fine work!

There are also some good "Shoobee-doobee's" and "la-la-la's" to go around.

All these years I never really knew who "M" was. In researching for this post, and looking at the videos, I see that "M" was really just some guy from England named Robin Scott. And, when I watched the videos, I was absolutely amazed at how normal looking he was. I was expecting some really weird looking dude. Instead, he's blandly handsome. In fact, he reminds me of that one guy from the last few seasons of Law & Order.

Robin "M" Scott

And…

Assistant District Attorney Michael Cutter

This song gets bumped up a bit more on the list because my son has taken a liking to it, as well.

"Get up. Get down."

COMING UP NEXT: These are the best of times?

21: So Much Fun To Be Around

21. "Big Shot" by Billy Joel {#14; 4/79} [Video: Big Shot.]

What can I say, it's another great rockin' tune. We've had a bit of a run here of good old fashioned guitar rock songs, with "Big Shot," "Miss America," "Do Ya," "Let It Run," and "I Don't Care Anymore."

This was the second release from the album "52nd Street." "My Life" was the first, and ended up being a bigger hit, but, in my opinion, "Big Shot" is the better song.

Me, I could never be a "Big Shot." I've never been to Park Avenue. I've never had Dom Perignon. I've never worn Halston. I don't know anyone at Elaine's. (I've never even been to Elaine's.) (Heck, I don't even know anyone named Elaine!)

COMING UP NEXT: M & M.