22: Your Home State Sure Must Be Proud

22. "Miss America" by Styx [Video: nope.]

On September 8, 1984, I was a fairly fresh freshman at BYU. That evening, something magical happened. I had three desserts at the cafeteria. (Yes, I gained a lot of weight that freshman year.) Oh, also that evening, Miss Utah, Sharlene Wells, was named Miss America!

The apple of the public's eye. (Her home state sure was proud!)

Of course, just a few months earlier the previous Miss America, Vanessa Williams, was forced to resign after nude photos of her surfaced. (Surfaced? What, were they previously below the surface?) So, at the time, and to this very day, there are a lot of people who feel that Sharlene only won because the Miss America people were looking for a squeaky clean Mormon who would have no skeletons in her closet. (Just a two year supply of food.)

That's not really fair to Sharlene. She's clearly a beautiful and talented woman. 

I remember, at the time, being surprised that the news stories about Vanessa Williams' downfall didn't play this song. It fits perfectly for her story. 

This is, of course, a great rock song. James "J.Y." Young usually dwelled in the shadow of bandmates Dennis DeYoung and Tommy Shaw, but he would usually have one song on each Styx album, and this one just happens to be the best Styx song ever. (In my opinion.)

Of course, it also helps this song's standing that when I was away for two years as a Mormon missionary, one day in the mail I got a cassette tape. (Yes, we used cassette tapes back in the day. How quaint.) On that cassette tape was a massage message from a friend who was vacationing at the time in Sweden. His roommate played the guitar, and they sang a few songs for me, one of which was "Miss America" by Styx. At the time, I couldn't listen to the actual "Miss America" by Styx. But I could listen to my friend's version of "Miss America," so I often did. (His roommate was pretty good on the guitar.)

"Next year, what will you do when you have been forgotten?"

COMING UP NEXT: One hint: Honey.

23: I Heard the Police Playing With Their Guns

23. "Do Ya" by Electric Light Orchestra {#24; 2/77} [Video: Do Ya.]

When they formed the Electric Light Orchestra, Jeff Lynne, Bev Bevan and Roy Wood were members of a band called "The Move," which was a very successful band in the late 1960s and early 1970s. In England. The Move had a large number of Top Twenty hits, and even reached #1 on the charts with a song or two. In England.

However, they didn't have much luck on this side of the pond. The Move only charted once on the Billboard Hot 100, and that was with a little song written and sung by Jeff Lynne called "Do Ya." "Do Ya" climbed all the way to #93 on the Hot 100 in October of 1972. And that's the extent of their chart success in America. (But really, they were a big, important, and influential band.) (In England.)

A few years and several popular albums later, Jeff Lynne decided to try "Do Ya" one more time. He knew it was a great song, and he thought he might have a bit more success now that his band had made a name for themselves. In America.

It's a great rocker song, with an excellent guitar opening and some fine drum work by Bev Bevan.

Great music, and an excellent painter, too!

Wait…

A great musician. (I wonder if he can paint?)

COMING UP NEXT: Is that you, Sharlene?

24: From Out of the Valley Came Long Tall Sally

24. "Let It Run" by Jeff Lynne [Video: nope.]

You've probably never heard this song. Most people probably haven't. That doesn't mean that it's not awesome.

The year was 1984, and ELO was coming off of the release of the "Secret Messages" album. It was not a critical or commercial highlight for the group. The writing was on the wall. So, Jeff Lynne went out and did a little solo work, writing and singing a couple of songs for the soundtrack of a movie called Electric Dreams. (The movie was about a love triangle featuring a woman, a man, and the man's computer.)(I've never seen the movie, but I did buy the soundtrack.)

One of the two songs, "Video!", was released as a single, but didn't make the charts. It's a fine, fun song that just missed making the HondoJoe Top 200.

"Let It Run," however, did make the list. It's a great rock/pop song. It starts out with some driving guitars. There's some good 80s synthesizers. There's a bit of piano pounding. There's some references to classic rock and roll songs. (Johnny B. Goode and Long Tall Sally.) And, it's a great song to listen to whilst working out.

And he paints, too! (Wait, that's not Jeff Lynne, is it?)

It's definitely a rare song. I can't find it on iTunes. Here's a link to a YouTube "video" that at least plays the music: Let It Run. 

COMING UP NEXT: You do?

25: We Never Played by the Same Rules, Anyway

25. "I Don't Care Anymore" by Phil Collins {#39; 2/83} [Video: I Don't Care Anymore.]

I believe this song comes from the album that features a close-up picture of the face of Phil Collins on the cover.

I kid Phil Collins. Because of his album covers. Because he deserves it. But, dang he sure knew how to channel that anger into some good songs! (Maybe if he gets pissed enough from me teasing him about his album covers, he'll start making some good, angry music again.)

I think that's what really drew me to Phil Collins to begin with. It was the anger and the angst.

I had never known heartache, but I could tell that Phil Collins had. Phil Collins made a broken heart sound gloriously disastrous.

The Anger and the Angst

Later, when Phil had less reason to be angry, he just wasn't as good. But, that's okay, because if you were to ask him, I think Phil would say, "I don't care no more. No more, no more. No more, no more. No more, no more. No more, no more. No more, no more. No more, no more."

COMING UP NEXT: Run, Runaway.

26: Dream How Wonderful Your Life Will Be

26. "Lullabye (Goodnight, My Angel)" by Billy Joel {#77; 3/94} [Video:  Lullabye (Goodnight, My Angel).]

There's really not much to say about this song. Just listen. It's a beautiful song. 

I've sung this song to all three of my babies. I was singing it just minutes ago, trying to get my baby girl down for a nap so I could write this.

It's this song that most aggravates me that Billy Joel won't write more new songs. He's a fantastic song writer. He has a skill. He has a gift. I wish he would use that skill and share that gift more. Sure, there's a chance there might be a lot of mediocre songs like "Two Thousand Years," and "That's Not Her Style." But, if there's a chance there could be more gems like this, I think it's a chance worth taking.

Come on, Billy!

"Some day we'll all be gone

but lullabies go on and on.

They never die

That's how you and I 

Will be."

COMING UP NEXT: Complete and total indifference.

27: Suspended Animation, a State of Bliss

27. "Learning to Fly" by Pink Floyd {#70; 10/87} [Video: Learning to Fly.]

First of all, let's be sure which "Learning to Fly" we are talking about. "Learning to Fly" by Tom Petty is a fine song. So is "Learn to Fly" by the Foo Fighters. This is not either of those songs. This is "Learning to Fly" by Pink Floyd off of their album "A Momentary Lapse of Reason."

Is there a better example of a "flying, floating" song than one called "Learning to Fly," and featuring a video of someone flying and floating? This song came out right when I got home from my mission, and the video was played a lot as I tried to get myself reacquainted with music videos. The mountain venues of the video and the flying, floating feel of it, stuck with me. (The video was shot in the mountains of Alberta, Canada.)

Also, there is a little guitar riff that is played several times throughout the song that I especially like. It's hard to describe it, but every time it plays I feel compelled to air-guitar along with it.

COMING UP NEXT: Who needs sleep?

28: Wreckage Everywhere I Turn

28. "No Rewind" by The Orchestra [Video: nope.]

You know, one of these days I've really got to write that "Brief (Ha!) History of the Electric Light Orchestra and the ELO Family Tree of Musical Acts." 

But, for now, here's a brief recap of where we are. ELO drummer Bev Bevan wanted to keep recording music as ELO, but Jeff Lynne didn't. And so, Electric Light Orchestra Part Two was born. Eventually, several other former members of ELO joined Bevan, including bassist Kelly Groucutt, violinist Mik Kaminski, and orchestral arranger Louis Clark. (Along with them was session singer and songwriter Eric Troyer.)

Eventually, Bev Bevan decided to retire, and when he did, he sold the "ELO" portion of the group's name back to Jeff Lynne. The other guys, now joined by guitarist/singer Parthenon Huxley, wanted to forge ahead. Unable to legally use the name "Electric Light Orchestra" in any form, they decided to call themselves "The Orchestra." 

It sounds like a decent name for an ELO-ish band. Until you think about how it works for an internet search. (It doesn't. It's about the least Google-friendly band name this side of 90s group "Live.")

Anyway, The Orchestra put together and released an album in 2001. The album's name: "No Rewind." It is an abso-freakin-lutely excellent album!!! It is far better than Jeff Lynne's ELO album "Zoom" that was released about the same time. In fact, "No Rewind" is better than all but three or four of the original Electric Light Orchestra albums! It is, without a doubt my favorite album released this century!

The Orchestra is still together (minus Kelly Groucutt, who has passed away), and they still tour occasionally, performing the hits of ELO. Last July they made an appearance at the Deer Valley ski area in Park City, Utah. My brother John and I were able to attend the concert. It was fantastic! They performed almost all of ELO's hit songs, and did so in fine fashion. It was a great concert! But, I was probably the only one in the crowd who was a bit disappointed that they didn't play any of their own original songs from the "No Rewind" album.

The song "No Rewind" was written and sung by our old friend, Eric Troyer. It's a hidden gem of a song that hardly anyone knows about. "I'd do it all so different, but there's no rewind."

COMING UP NEXT: Comfortably floating.

29: Ain't Much I'm Asking

29. "I Want It All" by Queen {#50; 5/89} [Video: I Want It All.]

What in the heck was wrong with people in 1989? How could they not see that this is a great song? "I Want It All" by Queen could only make it to #50 on the charts, and yet here is a partial list of the crap that made it to #1 in 1989:

"My Prerogitive" by Bobby Brown
"Lost In Your Eyes" by Debbie Gibson
"Like a Prayer" by Madonna
"Rock On" by Michael Damian
"Satisfied" by Richard Marx
"Toy Soldiers" by Martika
"Batdance" by Prince
"Girl I'm Gonna Miss You" by Milli Vanilli
"Hangin' Tough" by New Kids On the Block
"Cold Hearted" by Paula Abdul
"Listen to Your Heart" by Roxette
and
"Another Day In Paradise" by Phil Collins

That, my friend, is a list full of turdage! And yet, "I Want It All" could only make it to #50?!?

I firmly believe that if "I Want It All" had been released more during the middle of Queen's heyday, in the late 70s or early 80s, it would have been a giant hit. It's an excellent song! A great rocker! Greed is good! Instant gratification! I want it all! And, I want it now!!! (Seriously. "Body Language," which is a horrible song, made it to #11 in 1982. If "I Want It All" had been released in 1982 it would have at least reached the Top 5!)

I should point out that there are two versions of this song, the album version and the single version. Usually when this happens, I prefer the album version, because the single version often chops off portions of the song. (See: "Pressure," "Come Sail Away," and "Piano Man.")

However, in this instance it is the single version that is far superior. Why? The album version starts with some guitars, then goes to the first verse, then reaches the chorus. Meanwhile, the single version goes straight to the dadgum chorus! The chorus is the best part of the song! The song is about wanting it all and wanting it now! So, of course the song should lead off with the chorus!!! The difference between the album and the single versions of this song is enormous! I don't know if the album version would even crack the HondoJoe Top 400, and yet the single version is nestled away in the Top 30!!! (That's a big difference!)

(I can think of one other song where the single version is far superior to the album version, only now I can't seem to find the single version anywhere, "Turn Up the Radio" by Autograph. The only version I can find now starts with a guitar intro; in my memory, the song started off with the lead singer yelling "Turn it up!" before any guitars at all.) (I could be mis-remembering.)

COMING UP NEXT: If I could turn back time.

30: A Man and a Woman Had a Little Baby

30. "Three Is a Magic Number" by Bob Dorough [Video: Three Is a Magic Number.]

When I first started compiling this list, almost two years ago, my oldest daughter had just turned five years old, and my son had just turned three. A lot has happened in the two years hence, including the birth of my second daughter.

At the time I started making the HondoJoe Top 200, this song, "Three Is a Magic Number," meant so much to me because of the connection it had between me and my oldest daughter, Roni. When she was little, before she could even walk, when she would see me at the computer she would request to "watch Numbers." No, this was not the television show starring David Krumholtz as a genius crime-solving mathematician. "Numbers" is what Roni called the video for "Three Is a Magic Number."

So, I would set her up on my knee and we would watch "Numbers." We did this many, many, many times. Usually we would follow it up by watching "Dancing Guys." ("Dancing Guys" was the video to "Here I Go Again" by OK Go.)

So, aside from the fact that "Three Is a Magic Number" evokes childhood memories of my own from watching it when I was a kid, the song has a much deeper meaning to me now. (One of my favorite parts is when big number "30" crashes through the doorway. When this happened I would always shake the chair a bit and make a little wall-crashing sound.)

But, as I said, since I started making this list, a number of other songs have had deep and meaningful connections with my children, and although these songs didn't make the HondoJoe Top 200, I felt I should give them a bit of a shout out. Here they are:

"Robot Parade" by They Might Be Giants For several months in a row my son Buzz would request this song as his go to bed music. Of course, he couldn't pronounce the name of the song, so the requests would be for "O-bah Away." "In a future time, children will work together to build a giant cyborg."

"The Hoppity Song" by John Ondrasik John Ondrasik is the name of the singer from Five For Fighting. "The Hoppity Song" comes from an album my wife got for me called "For the Kids," which featured songs for children by modern rock music artists. Both kids, but especially Buzz, loved this song and requested it often as night-time music.

"On a Carousel" by Glass Moon This song was released back in 1982 and only made it as high as #50 on the charts. (It turns out it's a remake of a song by the Hollies that reached #11 back in 1967.) I remembered the Glass Moon version from when I was in high school, and I had it on a cd in the car. It played a few times as I was driving Buzz to preschool, and then he latched onto it. He started requesting it every time we got in the car to take him to or from preschool or his speech therapy. So, I've heard "On a Carousel" many, many times in the past six months. (Roni jokes that it is "Anna Carousel," but not "Elsa Carousel," after the two main characters from the movie Frozen.)

"Swingin'" by John Anderson This one is just starting to catch on. Why? "Little Charlotte, she's as pretty as the angels when they sing. I can't believe she's sittin' in our front room in her swing, just a swingin'." Yes, those lyrics are altered a bit, but little Charlotte is as pretty as the angels when they sing.

The entire soundtrack from the movie Frozen Have you heard of the movie Frozen? Have you heard the soundtrack to the movie Frozen? I've heard the soundtrack at a rate higher than the number of salad plates Anna and Elsa have. (That number is 8,000, for those of you who have heard the soundtrack less than 8,000 times.) Both of my older kids love this soundtrack, and they can't seem to "let it go."

COMING UP NEXT: Everything!!! Immediately!!!

31: Sax and Organs

31. "No Stopping" by the Dave Clark Five [Video: nope. But, since this isn't a very commonly known song, here's a YouTube link to the music: No Stopping.] (It's a rare song, but it is available on iTunes!)

Really? Of all the great instrumental songs out there in the world, this is my favorite? Yes, it's true. I'm weird.

I found this song during my phase of scouring the Deseret Industries and second-hand thrift stores for interesting albums and album covers. The song comes from the soundtrack album from the Dave Clark Five movie titled Having a Wild Weekend from 1965, at a time when the popularity of the band rivaled the popularity of the Beatles.

Dave Clark was not the lead singer of the Dave Clark Five. Discuss.

I'm not sure why I like the song so much. It's got a great, fast pace. (This makes it a fantastic workout song!) And it's got the drums, the organ, and the sax. But mostly, I'd say, it's that crazy 60s organ, flailing away. (The base line of the song is a bit reminiscent  of the theme from the Batman television show.) And, the song has a great ending, with a bit of drum and one last flourish on the organ.

It's a darn fun song! I dare you to listen to it without smiling.

COMING UP NEXT: Because learning is fun!

32: To Fall Down At Your Door

32. "I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)" by the Proclaimers {#3; 6/93 (Originally released in 1988.)} [Video: nope, but you might enjoy this performance of the song on David Letterman's show: I'm Gonna Be (on Letterman) (500 Miles). (Dave's interview with the Reid brothers is pretty funny.)]

I liked this song a lot long before I got married. But, when I think of it now, I think back to the day I got married. Specifically, I think back to my wedding reception.

My wife is an incredible woman. She had picked out a reception hall for our wedding reception. I hadn't actually seen the place on the inside, but I'm sure it would have been delightful. But then, less than a week before the wedding, she got the call that the reception hall had been double booked. There were two wedding receptions scheduled for the same night! 

Now, most bride-to-be's would have gone bat-sh*# crazy at hearing this news. Not my wife. Of course, it helped that the doofuses at the reception hall had a contingency plan in place. One of the two receptions could be held at the old county court house building instead. And, since our reception had been the first of the two actually scheduled, we had the choice of the reception hall or the court house. The court house was the bigger and nicer venue of the two, so we chose the court house, and then frantically tried to inform everyone about the change. (I only heard of one person from our wedding party who went to the original place first.)

(Oh, and as further penance for their mistake, the wedding reception people also provided a free crepe bar for our reception. You can never have too many crepes!)

I bring this all up, because the court house had a very slick wooden floor. And I had some very slick tux-rental shoes. And, soon enough, I found that I am a much better dancer than usual when I have slick shoes on a slick floor. 

The music for dancing at our reception was pumped from my brand new iPad through a small speaker system. The songs played were from the various mix-tape playlists I had made for Amber up to that point. And, one of the songs I most remember everyone dancing to was "I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)." 

To this day, it's the most fun I've ever had at a party.

COMING UP NEXT: The highest ranked instrumental on the HondoJoe Top 200!

33: I Think of Childhood Friends

33. "Come Sail Away" by Styx {#8; 9/77} [Video: Come Sail Away.]

There's a certain kind of song that I like that I really haven't mentioned yet. It's a song that contains like two or three (or more) different songs within one song. We've had a few on the list so far, like "Tainted Love/Where Did Our Love Go," and "Need You Tonight/Mediate." Heck, "Hey Jude" probably falls under this classification, too.

"Come Sail Away" definitely fits this description. There's the "I'm Sailing Away" piano ballad and the "Come Sail Away" guitar rocker. It's two songs in one! (Looking ahead, there are going to be several more songs in the same vein coming up on the list.)

This song, and the album it came from, The Grand Illusion, were the first to really get me to notice the group Styx. It was the first of a great five album run from them, as it was followed up by Pieces of Eight, Cornerstone, Paradise Theater, and Kilroy Was Here. Some great albums with some great songs. I feel bad there aren't more songs by Styx on the HondoJoe Top 200,

One of the best ever uses of a song in television or the movies used this song.  The pilot episode of the great cult classic television show Freaks and Geeks ends with this song being played at a school dance. Sam Weir, the lead geek, has actually asked his dream girl to dance. He walks her out to the dance floor, but just as he's reaching in for a nice slow-dance embrace, the song switches from "I'm Sailing Away" slow dance song to "Come Sail Away" fast dance rocker. It's a great moment. (Here's a link to the scene: Freaks and Geeks Come Sail Away.)

I should also point out here that there is a chopped up version of this song that cuts out one of the verses of the "I'm Sailing Away" portion in order to make the song shorter for radio. Needless to say, that version is dead to me.

COMING UP NEXT: If it's not Scottish, it's crap!

34: This Gallery of Scoundrels

34. "Hello/Honest Men" by Electric Light Orchestra Part Two [Video: Honest Men.]

I rarely shopped at Budget Tapes and Records. It was a tiny little store, not near any other real businesses, tucked away off of 5th Avenue. The few times I did go there, I was usually unimpressed with their inventory. Their selection of tapes and/or records was lacking, both in volume and uniqueness. I didn't go there very often.

And yet, for some reason in 1990 or 1991 while finishing up at Idaho State University, I found myself standing in Budget Tapes and Records. I'm not sure why I was there, but since I was, I did what I always did at record stores. I checked to see if they had anything new or different from my favorite acts. This meant looking in the "J" section for Billy Joel, the "Q" section for Queen, and the "E" section for ELO.

I was very much shocked and surprised when perusing in the "E" area I saw this:

Yes, it was a cassette.

There was a cassette titled "Electric Light Orchestra Part Two." It featured an attractive, nearly nude woman holding a baton over a city at night as a small spaceship with "ELO II" written on it approaches. I had no idea what this album was. The Electric Light Orchestra's second album, which featured "Roll Over Beethoven," was titled "Electric Light Orchestra II," and featured a giant light bulb floating in the sky on the cover. I didn't know if this cassette I just found was a repackaging of that album, or if it was something new. I looked at the song tracks, and saw that I didn't recognize any of the songs. Could this be a new album by ELO?

Of course, I purchased the cassette. When I put it into my stereo and clunked down on the "play" button, I listened in wonder and awe. The first song is a short (only one minute and eighteen seconds) little Beatle-esque ditty called "Hello." It was quickly followed by the incredible sound of a wall of orchestra, and the beginning moments of the second song, "Honest Men."

These two songs completely encapsulated the sound of the Electric Light Orchestra from the 1970s. It was a sound that had been missing from the last three or four ELO albums, and that sound was back! ELO was back!!!

Only, they weren't. The rest of the album was mediocre, at best. (Two more half-decent songs, then the rest was utter crap.)

Someday, I'll get around to explaining the differences between ELO and ELO Part II when I finally finish  A Brief (Ha!) History of the Electric Light Orchestra and the ELO Family Tree of Musical Acts. Until that time, here's the quick lowdown. Drummer Bev Bevan, an ELO founding member, wanted to make more ELO records. Jeff Lynne, who wrote and sang all the ELO songs, did not. Some lawyers got involved, and "Electric Light Orchestra Part Two" was born, with Bev Bevan on the drums.

Is it cheating that I put these two songs together and listed them in one spot on the countdown? Probably. But, "Hello" is such a quick little ditty, and rolls right into "Honest Men" that I've always thought of them as a package deal.

"Honest Men" was written and sung by Eric Troyer, who I mentioned back at song #171 on this list. ("All Fall Down.") They lyrics are a bit hokey, but that doesn't bother me, because I'm a bit of a hokey guy. (I am not, however, a hokey-pokey guy!)

"Throw out the tyrants. The aged fat cats. Outlived their usefulness, they have led us to this mess."

"Call to him, he lives next door, across the street on the upper floor. He's our only hope, we need him now!"

Louis Clark, who arranged a lot of the orchestral work for ELO, arranged the strings on this song. It's got a great sound. (I also like the false ending. False endings can be fun.)

COMING UP NEXT: Two, Two, Two Songs In One!

35: We Are Far Too Young and Clever

35. "Come On Eileen" by Dexy's Midnight Runners {#1; 1/83} [Video: Come On Eileen.]

Many years ago, I made a joke. It wasn't particularly funny, but I still remember it. For some reason, we were talking about songs that get played at funerals, and I said something along the lines of, "You know what song I want played at my funeral? Come On Eileen."

I remember I had started the joke without a song in mind for the punchline, and in that instant of thinking "what song would be the most un-funeral-ish so as to make this joke funny," the song that popped into my mind was "Come On Eileen." Looking back, I'm sure there are other songs that would be funnier as that punchline, but I'm not sure what they are. (Maybe "I'm Still Standing" by Elton John?)

Anyway, even though it was a pretty dumb joke, I've held onto it in my mind for all this time. So, at this point I think I actually do want "Come On Eileen" played at my funeral. And when people question the appropriateness of the song, you can always just tell them, "You do know that Joe was kind of weird, right?"

--------

Previously, I had mentioned how ugly the J. Geils Band is. And then I saw the video for this song. Dexy's Midnight Runners are not a handsome bunch, either. Maybe it's just because of the whole shirtless-with-overalls look. (It's not a good look.)

So, let's compare and contrast:

The J. Geils Band: They ain't no Backstreet Boys!

And then:

Dexy's Midnight Runners: No shirts, no shoes, no service.

The winner? 

Radio. We don't have to see either of them when we hear their awesome songs!

COMING UP NEXT: Something good from Budget Tapes and Records!

36: I've Had the Blues, the Reds, and the Pinks

36. "Love Stinks" by the J. Geils Band {#38; 4/80} [Video: Love Stinks. (Dang! The J. Geils Band really do have faces for radio, don't they?)]

"You love her, but she loves him. And he loves somebody else. You just can't win." These words were my existence in a nutshell in 7th and 8th grades. (Once again, I've already written about this song and its meaning in my life at: Love Stinks (And Other Smelly Tales from Junior High).)

Aside from the junior high connection, "Love Stinks" also figures prominently in one of my favorite movies of all time, The Wedding Singer. And if you don't believe me, just ask fat guy, sideburns lady and the Mutants Over At Table 9. (Here's a link: Sandler: Love Stinks.) My favorite part? "Cindy and Scott are newlyweds! Whoopadeedoo!!!"

COMING UP NEXT: Is it possible? A band uglier than the J. Geils Band?

37: Funny How It Seems

37. "True" by Spandau Ballet {#4; 8/83} [Video: True.]

You can't get much more "wheelhouse" than this song! Homecoming dance, senior year of high school. Double-double date. Standing on my date's porch with a rose while an entire family stared me down. A sweater vest. The Upstairs Restaurant. No food. Finally, to the dance. Slow dancing to "True." (Awkward slow dancing, but slow dancing nonetheless.)

I wrote about this date fairly extensively on my humor column blog. (Here's a handy-dandy link: My Gawkward Date with the Mystery Girl.] Feel free to read the story. Feel free to correct and/or contradict my view of the events that night. It was a pretty crazy night.

And so, "True" always makes me think of that night. I liked Spandau Ballet. They had some other nice songs. ("Gold," "Only When You Leave," and "Communication," to name a few.)

There was a rumor that they were Mormon. I think it's because they were always wearing suits, and their song "Gold" contains a line about "only two years ago," which Mormons would naturally assume had to be about someone on a Mormon mission. But, no, Spandau Ballet were not Mormon, just upper-crust British.

"So true, funny how it seems."

COMING UP NEXT: What's worse than high school? Junior high!

38: You're Free From Pain In the Dream Domain

38. "Silent Lucidity" by Queensryche {#9; 3/91} [Video: Silent Lucidity.]

"Hush now, don't you cry."

Before this song came out, I knew that there was a group named "Queensryche," but I had not, to my knowledge, ever heard any songs by them. I basically only knew of their existence because I occasionally saw their albums while looking in the "Q" section of the record store for albums by Queen.

Then this song came out, and I immediately loved it. It's got that "flying-floating" feel that I like so much. Basically, it's like Pink Floyd's "Comfortably Numb," but without the super-extendo guitar solo at the end.

I bought the album. (Because, back then that was what you did if you liked a song.) I found that the album, "Empire," had two other songs on it that I liked, the title track, "Empire," which is mostly fun because of some guy spouting some incomprehensible statistics over the end of the song (I like silly spoken word songs), and "Another Rainy Night Without You," a nice power ballad.

And, other than those three songs, I've never heard nor thought of Queensryche again.

But, it's a darn good song.

COMING UP NEXT: A hungry fool in a sweater vest.

39: Sister's Sighing In Her Sleep

39. "Our House" by Madness {#7; 5/83} [Video: Our House.]

What Madness is this?

"Our House" is most definitely a "wheelhouse" song. I don't have a particular memory attached to the song, but it does give me a feel-good high school vibe. (Note: Not all high school vibes are "feel-good.")

In fact, back in high school (and maybe even in junior high) I used to write up my own Top 10 songs of the week list. (I listened to a lot of Casey Kasem.) I think I even expanded it to a Top 15 and/or a Top 20 for a while. Somewhere in a deep, dark, dank corner of the house or garage, I still might have one of the notebooks that contained these weekly self-made countdowns.

Even though I've been creating this list (The HondoJoe Top 200!) for almost two years, I hadn't even ever thought of those Top 10s from a bygone era until just now. Somewhere in a crazy corner of my memory, I seem to remember "Our House" being at #1 on my lists for several weeks in a row.

Maybe, when I have time, I'll look to see if I can find those old lists. (And when I say, "when I have time," I mean, "when the kids have grown up," because now that I've added a new baby to the "things I gotta take care of" list, I'm finding that temporal disturbances always seem to leave me with less time than I used to have.)

Now that's a great album cover! (No belly-buttons needed!)

Anyway, this is a great song. "Sister's sighing in her sleep" is an excellent line of alliteration. With references to brother, sister, father, and mother, it's like a modern rock version of a Primary song.

And, because I am very odd, sometimes I'll sing along, changing the words to, "Our house, we lived their with Meryl Streep." (I have problems, but as problems go, this is not one of my worst.)

COMING UP NEXT: Quiet understanding.

40: I Saw the Ocean's Daughter

40. "Eldorado Overture/Can't Get It Out of My Head" by Electric Light Orchestra {#9; 12/74} [Video: Can't Get It Out of My Head. (Bad lip-sync "live" video featuring a furry-headed Jeff Lynne.)]

We finally did it! We've finally reached Casey Kasem territory! Welcome to the HondoJoe Top 40!!!

Keep your feet on the ground, but keep reaching for the stars!

"Can't Get It Out of My Head" was the Electric Light Orchestra's first Top 10 hit. It's off of ELO's fourth album, "Eldorado." The previous album, "On the Third Day"  (known in these parts as "the belly-button album") was excellent, but because America was too busy listening to Tony Orlando and/or Dawn, it never really caught on with the purchasing public. (The album, and its biggest hit, "Showdown," both couldn't crack #50 on the Hot 100.)

But, "Eldorado" made it to #16 on the album charts, and "Can't Get It Out of My Head" went to #9 on the singles chart. 

I had been familiar with "Can't Get It Out of My Head," but I hadn't heard the prelude to it, "Eldorado Overture," until I listened to a long radio interview of Jeff Lynne and Bev Bevan, and they played it as a bit of an intro. I was instantly mesmerized. Yes, "Can't Get It Out of My Head" would be in my Top 200 without it, but it is the "Eldorado Overture" portion of the song that drives it into the Top 40. It's just some great orchestral flare. When I listen to "Eldorado Overture" I can understand all those times that Major Charles Winchester hoarded and played his classical music on his portable record player. This song hits me the same way those records did to him.

[As an aside, when I went to type  "Can't Get It Out of My Head" in to Google, I got the wavy red "spelling mistake" line under "Out of," then it was auto-corrected to "Outta." I found this very perplexing, since "Outta" is not a word. Proof once again that Google is stupid.]

COMING UP NEXT: I'm going slightly mad.

41: Everyone's a Super Hero; Everyone's a Captain Kirk

41. "99 Red Balloons" by Nena {#2; 12/83} [Video: 99 Red Balloons.]

Yes, I like the German version of this song, too. But, it's the English version I'm ranking here. Call me crazy, but when given the choice between understanding and not understanding the lyrics, I'm going to go with understanding almost every time. 

Sometimes, when making a HondoJoe Top 200 entry, I struggle to find lyrics I like enough to put as the title. No such problem with this song. I could have chosen any of the following as the title for this post and been perfectly satisfied:

"You and I in a Little Toy Shop"

"Floating In the Summer Sky"

"The War Machine Springs to Life"

"Opens Up One Eager Eye"

"Worry, Worry, Super-Scurry"

"Call the Troops Out In a Hurry"

"This Is What We've Waited For"

"This Is It, Boys, This Is War"

"The President Is On the Line"

"Super High-Tech Jet Fighters"

"Orders to Identify, Clarify and Classify"

"It's All Over and I'm Standing Pretty"

"If I Could Find a Souvenir"

"I Think of You and Let It Go"

That's a lot of possible great titles! I finally chose "Everyone's a Super Hero, Everyone's a Captain Kirk" because I am a comic book/Star Trek nerd. 

------------

I like women. I do. I really, really do. But, you wouldn't know it from the HondoJoe Top 200!  There are only four songs in the entire Top 200 that have a woman as the main singer. They are:

#195: "Buddha's Delight" by Haley Bennett

#114: "Walking On Sunshine" by Katrina and the Waves

#70: "Heart and Soul" by T'Pau

and

#41: "99 Red Balloons" by Nena.

That's it. That's all. 

I love women. I really do. I love songs by Abba, Cheryl Crow, Pat Benetar, Katy Perry, Taylor Swift, Sinead O'Connor, Alicia Keys, Quarterflash, Alanis Morrisette, The Bangles, the Go-Go's, Belinda Carlysle, Belly, the Cranberries, Bonnie Tyler, the Carpenters, Charlene, Enya, Cyndi Lauper, Laura Brannigan, Heart, Air Supply, Bananarama, and the cast of Frozen.

Of course, right now that come's across about like the racist who says, "I've got lots of black friends."

I really don't know why the Top 200 is so skewed towards men. It just is. I apologize.

COMING UP NEXT: American Top 40!

42: It's All Doing What You Gotta Do

42. "(Ocean Breakup)/King of the Universe" by Electric Light Orchestra [Video: Not exactly, but there is this: King of the Universe (Live).] 

Yes, it's back! It's the return of the belly-button album!

Seven men. Seven belly buttons.

I know I've already commented about this album cover. But, since this is the last song from this album on the list, I couldn't pass up one last chance to visit it. Because it's seven grown men, showing their belly buttons. (I especially like how Richard Tandy and Bev Bevan don't really have to adjust their shirts at all.)

"On the Third Day" is one of my favorite albums, and it starts off with this song. There's the instrumental "Ocean Breakup" part, which brings to mind the ocean waves crashing into the rocky shore. 

In the middle of the song, there is a part where Jeff Lynne is just singing, "Ah, ah," but he's doing so in a very floaty-flying kind of way that I like so much. 

It's an excellent early ELO song.

Maybe ELO were just big fans of Barbara Eden?

COMING UP NEXT: Apparently, HondoJoe is a sexist pig!

43: It's Everything I Wish I Didn't Know

43. "Vertigo" by U2 {#31; 10/04} [Video: Vertigo.]

Once again, I'm probably really angering the fans of a famous rock band. Just as Beatles fans would find it blasphemous that my highest ranked song by them is "Free As a Bird," so to will U2 fans be upset that the only two songs by them in the HondoJoe Top 200 are "Stuck In a Moment You Can't Get Out of" (back at #155) and "Vertigo."

That's right, higher than "Pride," "With Or Without You," "Sunday Bloody Sunday," "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For," and "One." Once again: It's my list, so I don't care what you think!

I first came to hear this song when it was used in commercials by Apple to sell iPods. It's a real catchy song, and the repeated exposure from the commercials nudged me toward actually purchasing the song.

It's got a lot of great components as a song:

*It starts off with a great count-up: "Uno…dos…tres…catorce!" which, of course, means "One…two…three…fourteen!" (It's the best use of miscounting since the "One…two…three…five!" in Supertramp's "The Logical Song.")

*There's a great repeated refrain of, "Hello! Hello! Hola!" This is what helped make the song a much re-sung hit around our house. When I shout to the kids, "Hello! Hello!" they will often echo back to me with "Hola!"

*It's got some rocking guitar riffs.

*There's a fun little spot where Bono says, "All this, all this can be yours! All this, all this can be yours! All this, all this can be yours! Just give me what I want and no one gets hurt!"

*And, the song has a great multiple "Yeah!" ending. In fact, the song ends with Bono screaming "Yeah!" sixteen straight times. (Yes, I counted.)

All in all, this is a very well-crafted pop/rock song. It's got a great beginning, great middle, and great ending. Do I care if the lyrics have no political significance? No. (I haven't much cared about politics since Ross Perot lost the election a few years back.)

COMING UP NEXT: The Return of the Belly-Buttons!

44: I'm Failing In School; Losing My Friends

44. "All For Leyna" by Billy Joel [Video: All For Leyna.]

It's an angry song from an angry young man!

I've never met Leyna, but I know a few things about her. She's pretty mean. She's pretty selfish. (She didn't tell him there were rocks under the waves right off the shore.) She gave him a night. (That's all it was.) She may drop over to say she's changed her mind. (But she probably won't.)

This is a good, angry, growling, sing-along song. Plus, it's got one of those recurring moments that makes me spasm involuntarily. There's the one piano bit that, whenever it comes up, I feel the need to spastically move my hands as if playing the air piano. There aren't many songs that can make me move involuntarily like that. (Drums in "In the Air Tonight;" opening guitar in "Just What I Needed;" and that one weird sound in "Owner of a Lonely Heart" to name a few.)

Why do I have this Billy Joel song rated higher than "Root Beer Rag" and "Prelude/Angry Young Man?" A lot of it has to do with the sing-along-ability of "All For Leyna." It's great:

"I'm failing in school
Losing my friends
Making my family lose their minds.
I don't wanna eat
I don't wanna sleep
I only want Leyna one more time!"

COMING UP NEXT: Do you want to buy an iPad?

45: Life Is Just a Mood Ring We're Not Allowed to See

45. "Absolutely Bill's Mood" by They Might Be Giants [Video: nope.]

Did I mention that They Might Be Giants are weird? And that they are quirky? And that there is occasionally a brilliance to their quirkiness?

This is another great sing-along song, but only if you are accompanied by people that you feel comfortable announcing your insanity in front of.

"My room is comfortably small
With rubber lining the walls
And there's someone always calling my name.
He calls when I'm alone
And he calls when I'm not home
And he calls when I'm stuck out in the rain.
I'm insane.
I'm insane.
I'm insane."

I also like the random "Thank you" or two in the middle of the song.

Obviously, I've paired this song and the one before it on the list, "Exquisite Dead Guy." They are near the pinnacle of my favorite weird and wacky songs by They Might Be Giants. They are perfect examples of the kind of offbeat insanity and silliness that I enjoy from John and John. A couple of fun, deeply disturbing songs.

COMING UP NEXT: Maybe this is why he's such an angry young man.

46: Rotating In His Display Case

46. "Exquisite Dead Guy" by They Might Be Giants [Video: nope.]

They Might Be Giants are weird. And this is one of their weirder songs.

"Exquisite Dead Guy, rotating in his display case, 

Exquisite Dead Guy, swear I saw his mouth move."

There aren't many groups who could write a fun song about a dead guy in a display case. (Maybe the Bay City Rollers, Chilliwack, and Mac Davis, but that's about it.) (Bruce Springsteen could write a song about a dead guy in a display case, but it wouldn't be a fun song.)

One of the best features of this song is the great sing-along-ability of the "ba-ba-da-ba-ba-ba-da-ba's." Not only is it great to sing along with, but each progressive "ba-ba-da" gets louder and louder. (That's called "crescendo.") (I learned that at bartending school.)

And, They ask the musical question: "How'm I sposed to let you know the way I feel about you?" (I like musical questions.)

COMING UP NEXT: Quirky brilliance is insane!

47: Send Me Up a Drink

47. "Major Tom" by Peter Schilling {#14; 9/83} [Video: Major Tom.]

Hey, here's another song about an astronaut named Major Tom. Yes, that's right, there are two songs about an astronaut named Major Tom in the HondoJoe Top 100.

Why do I like the Peter Schilling version more than the David Bowie version? Probably because I heard the Peter Schilling version first. In September of 1983, when this song first hit the charts, I was just starting my senior year of high school. So yes, this is definitely a "wheelhouse" song.

Back at Ground Control, there is a problem….

One of the best features of this song is the use of the countdown. "4…3…2…1." There are a lot of songs with count-ups, but I can't offhand think of any others with countdowns.

COMING UP NEXT: Quirky brilliance is not dead!

48: You Leave Me With My Jaw On the Floor

48. "Here It Goes Again" by OK Go {#38; 9/06} [Video: Here It Goes Again. (Just one of the most popular videos of the century.)]

This song has many things going for it:

*It's a good, upbeat song that is excellent for exercising.

*The video is one of the most clever and fun you'll see.

*My kids absolutely love this video! When Roni was little and I was at the computer, she would always ask to watch two videos, "Numbers," (Three Is a Magic Number) and "Dancing Guys," (this video.)

Before my first mac computer died, the video for this song had been viewed over 100 times. That's a lot of views for a video! And yet, I never got tired of it. It's a great song, and it's a great video.

By the way, the group OK Go most definitely has the highest batting average of any group in my entire iTunes collection. I only have two songs by OK Go in my iTunes, and both songs are not only in the HondoJoe Top 200, they are both in the HondoJoe Top 75!

Some of their other videos are great, too. The kids also really like the video for "White Knuckles," otherwise known as "The Dog Video."

I actually saw OK Go in concert once. Before I had ever heard of them, they opened for They Might Be Giants at the last TMBG concert I went to up at the University of Utah.

COMING UP NEXT: Didn't we already have a song about an astronaut?

49: Home, Home and Dry

49. "Free As a Bird" by the Beatles {#6; 12/95} [Video: Free As a Bird.]

The Beatles are quite possibly the greatest rock band of all time. Their hits are numerous. Their influence incalculable. Their fans legion.

And so, if I were to tell most of those fans that my absolute favorite Beatles song is "Free As a Bird," there would be an almost unanimous cry of "Blasphemy!"

True Beatles fans don't even consider this a Beatles song, as it was culled from merging a demo from John Lennon, decades after his death, with some additions by the other three guys.

To those fans I say: tough. This is my list, and I can like what I like!

"Free As a Bird" is a prime example of those flying, floating songs that I like so much. When I hear those opening notes, I sway as if I am a bird who is flying. Flying freely. Free as a bird.

(Yes, the song was produced by Jeff Lynne. You decide if that had any influence on me.)

COMING UP NEXT: Back to the old treadmill!

50: He Refuses To Bend, He Refuses To Crawl

50. "Prelude/Angry Young Man" by Billy Joel [Video: Prelude/Angry Young Man. (This is from Wembley Stadium in 1984.)(Wembley Stadium: It's the Salt Palace of London!)]

Yes, I know the first concert I ever saw was Bryan Adams/Journey at the pot-smoke filled Mini-Dome in Pocatello. But, as a concert-going experience, it was lacking in several areas. For one thing, the lines getting in to the stadium were so long that Bryan Adams had already come on stage and performed a couple of songs before we were able to actually get inside the building. Then, it turned out Bryan Adams was a surprisingly foul-mouthed performer. (Bleeping Canadians!) And finally, in some foolish effort to "beat traffic" we ended up leaving the concert before Journey was actually finished. (I remember "Separate Ways" reverberating through the building as we walked outside to our car.)

No, my first real concert experience was Billy Joel in the Salt Palace on April 23, 1984. I'm not sure why I was in Salt Lake, but I remember buying four tickets for the concert at the ZCMI in the ZCMI Center downtown. The tickets were $15 each. (I don't think you could park your car at a concert for $15 these days.) (Back in my day….)

When the time came, the Arimo Mafia (with Mike in the place of Chris) sluffed school and headed on down to the big city. 

I remember the thrill of seeing where are seats were: right behind the piano, just a few rows up! The anticipation built until Billy's song "The Mexican Connection" was pumped over the loudspeakers. That's when we knew it was just about time. Some shadowy figures scurried to their spots in the darkness. And then:

BLAM!!! The lights came up and there was Billy Joel, right in front of us with his hands flailing about the piano as he started to pound out "Prelude/Angry Young Man!" It was unlike anything I've ever seen, before or since. His hands were a complete blur, as if he were just randomly pounding the piano as hard and as fast as he could. And yet, he was actually playing the song! (The video I linked to from Wembley Stadium in 1984 captures some of the feel, but it doesn't capture the total awe and amazement of the experience.)

The rest of the show was absolutely excellent, but the two things I'll remember most about that concert are the moment he started playing this song, and the moment, as he was going down the stairs coming off the stage when Billy looked directly at my idiot friend who was cheering and yelling like a mad man. (Not like an angry young man, but like a crazy young man.)

COMING UP NEXT: Blasphemy!

51: Lift That Fork, Eat That Snail

51. "South Carolina" by John Linnell [Video: nope]

They Might Be Giants have been together forever. So far as I know, there has never been so much as a threat of the band breaking up. (In fact, they are touring again this year, coming to Salt Lake City in early May.)

But, there was a time when the guys decided to do some solo side projects. Guitarist John Flansburgh formed a group by the name of Mono Puff and released two albums. (Included are fun songs such as "Night Security," about a night security guard and his giant key ring; "Guitar Was the Case," a jumping guitar instrumental; and "Nixon's the One," a song that extolls the many virtues of Richard Nixon.)(It's a very short song.)

Meanwhile, accordion guru John Linnell released a solo album titled "State Songs." Each song on the album had the title of a state, even though the songs themselves might have absolutely nothing to do with the state the song was named after.

The best of these songs is "South Carolina." It's a fun, upbeat tune about a guy riding a bicycle getting hit by a garbage truck, then receiving a large financial settlement as a result. 

This song is, for me, the ultimate workout song. When working out on my elliptical exercise machine, keeping up with the beat of this song is the absolute fastest that I can go. In fact, if I haven't been on the machine for a while, it will usually take me a month or two of working out before I can get to and maintain the speed of this song. 

Of course, thinking about garbage trucks brings to mind my days as a boy scout garbage collector back in Arimo. Do you think they'd allow that today? Twelve year old kids riding around in the back of a large open bed grain truck or, worse yet, hanging onto a ladder on the side of the truck. Or, how about kids riding in the back of said garbage truck on the way to the dump, throwing things out along the way? (Throwing rotten pumpkins out of the truck and watching them smash on the road was pretty fun. No wonder we liked David Letterman so much.) And, I'm pretty sure hanging on to the front of the truck bed as the hydraulics lifts it up to dump out the garbage would probably be frowned upon, too. {Luckily, we grew up in a time that wasn't too litigious.)

COMING UP NEXT: A song worth sluffing school for.

52: A Song About a Beverage

52. "Root Beer Rag" by Billy Joel [Video: Root Beer Rag.]

Growing up as a Mormon kid in southeast Idaho, I lived a pretty sheltered life. I didn't hear a lot of adults using casual profanity around children unless cows were somehow involved. (Working with cows brings out the swear words in even the most devout Mormons.)

So, I found it a bit jarring when my Grandpa Melton casually flung some profanity my way. Of course, he wasn't the typical Idaho Mormon farmer that I was used to dealing with. He was a hardened blue collar worker from the deep South. Still, it threw me off when I heard him cuss when the cussing wasn't in anger.

I remember two specific incidents. The first happened one day when I was relieving him from tractor-driving duty on the farm. He was helping my Dad on the farm, and he had been driving the big Case tractor for most of the day. I was going to take his place and drive the tractor for the rest of the day. When he got off the tractor he seemed to be in a good mood. He smiled at me and said, "Don't f**k up my tractor!" I was pretty much dumbfounded. I'd never had the "f" word thrown my direction like that before. I'm not sure if I even was able to muster a response.

What does this have to do with the HondoJoe Top 200? Well, the second time Grandpa Melton shot some unexpected profanity my way, it had a little something to do with this song.

I was with my Mom and Grandpa Melton, and we were shopping at the Cache Valley Mall in Logan, Utah. It was at some point after the release of Billy Joel's Songs In the Attic album. I had liked the album so much that I was going back and collecting the earlier albums that the songs on Song In the Attic originally came from.

On this particular day in Logan, I purchased a cassette of Billy Joel's album Streetlife Serenade. We were back in the car and Grandpa Melton started up a casual conversation with me. He asked me what I had purchased. I told him I bought some music. He asked what it was, and asked to look at the cassette. I took it out of my bag and gave it to him.

It was then that Grandpa Melton looked over the cassette in his hand, shook his head in disapproval, and dismissively said, "Streetlife serenade? Sh*t."

I'm not sure why he said it. Maybe he thought Billy Joel had no idea what "street life" was. Maybe he thought that a small town Idaho farm boy and "street life" had no business sharing the same automobile. Or, maybe he just wanted to say sh*t. I'm not really sure.

Of course, "Root Beer Rag" was one of the songs I discovered when I bought Streetlife Serenade, so I'm still glad I made that purchase, despite what my Grandpa might have thought of it at the time.

It's a fun song, and it brings to mind one of my favorite beverages. I like root beer. I like Virgil's, Henry Weinhard, A&W, Stewart's, Hire's, Barq's, and, of course, Mug. (Heck, I even like Shasta root beer!)

COMING UP NEXT: A song about a garbage truck?