126: I'm the Next Big Thing

126. "Beverly Hills" by Weezer {#10; 4/05} [iTunes? Yes] {Youtube: Beverly Hills.}

Here's a group that has one of my five favorite non-Cognitive Triad albums of all time. And they only have one song in the entire HondoJoe Top 200. And it's not from the album that I love so much.

Sound familiar?

Much in the same way that "Makin' Some Noise" is my favorite Tom Petty song, even though it's not on the excellent "Full Moon Fever" album, "Beverly Hills" is my favorite Weezer song, even though it's not on their incredible debut album "Weezer" (The "Blue" album.)

That debut album is chock full of great songs. "In the Garage" and "The World Has Turned and Left Me Here" in particular were in the first draft of the HondoJoe Top 200 before they got bumped for more ELO and Billy Joel.

"Beverly Hills" is a fun, rocking song. There's something about the rhythm of this song that just really catches me. (I always want to jump up at that third beat.) And the lyrics apply, too:

"The thing is, I don't stand a chance. It's something that you're born into, and I just don't belong."

COMING UP NEXT: A treatise on homosexuality in Southeastern Idaho in the late 1970s. (With costumes.)

127: A Gigantic Nuclear Furnace

127. "Why Does the Sun Shine?" by They Might Be Giants [iTunes? Yes]
{Here's a youtube video, but it's not of their original version of the song, which is still my favorite: Why Does the Sun Shine? (Rock).}

Hey! Education can be fun! Does it matter to me that the scientific "facts" of this song, written in the 1950s, are no longer considered accurate? No! That's the thing about science. Everyone thinks science is an exact science, but most of it is just guess work. Yes, it's educated guess work. But, guess work nonetheless!

Scientists today are certain that they know certain things. But, in the future, when other facts come into evidence, that certainty won't certainly be as certain anymore.

Science: what a bunch of hogwash! (That's why I got a vague liberal arts degree. It's vague. I can make stuff up without having to pretend it's the be-all, end-all of anything. And if I'm wrong? No one cares!)

But, yes, the sun is about 93 million miles away. (And that's why it looks so small.)

COMING UP NEXT: Is that you, Jed? Jethro? Ellie May?

128: Tonight's Episode: Sing a Song of Murder

128. "Barnaby Jones Theme" by Jerry Goldsmith [iTunes? No.]

Youtube it here: Barnaby Jones Theme. (You'd think Larry Hagman would merit a "Special Guest Star," wouldn't you?)

Or here: More Barnaby Jones. (Fatman before he was Fatman!)

Or maybe here: Yet More Barnaby Jones. (Mindy's Dad?)

Or, possibly here, too: Barnaby Jones? Yes! (Webster's Mom?)

You are probably thinking, "The Theme from Barnaby Jones? Really?" To which I answer, "Yes, really." I really do like this song! It's got a nice, dramatic feel to it, and it quickly puts me in the mood for an adventure. It's not the song's fault that the rollicking adventure it prefaces mostly involves a grinning old man sitting behind a desk.

Tonight's Episode: I Think I'll Sit In This Comfy Chair For a While

Of course, there were a lot of great television theme songs back in the day. Barnaby Jones is here because a) I really like the song, and 2) to represent all of the other great theme songs that couldn't make this list. Songs like:

Run, Hippies, Run!

Or this: The Adventures of Lupus

Or maybe this: Machine Guns R Us

Or, perhaps, this: Oh, Danny Boy

Or possibly this: The Hardy Boys Mysteries?

Sorry about that. As you can see, it was pretty easy for me to get trapped in a youtube rabbit hole for hours and hours. I was barely able to stop myself and get back to the real world.

Anyway, the Barnaby Jones Theme is an excellent song. And, above all else, never forget that it is:

A QUINN MARTIN PRODUCTION!!!

COMING UP NEXT: Gas! (Lots and lots of gas!)

129: Lovey-Dovey All the Time

129. "The Joker" by Steve Miller Band {#1; 10/73} [iTunes? Yes] {YouTube: The Joker}

(The video is just footage of the band playing the song. But it is well worth the time just for The Scarf at the 1:20 mark.) ("Oh, drummers," I say, as I shake my head in knowing disbelief.)

What can you say about this song? What can't you say about this song? If you want to talk about memorable lyrics, then this here is a song you want to be talking about. In fact, why don't we do a Top Ten Things About "The Joker" by the Steve Miller Band?

10. "I'm a Joker." The title of the song is one of the least interesting moments in the entire song.

9. "I speak of the pompatous of love." Undoubtedly the most over-rated line in the song. Yes, I get it. It's a nonsense word. Usually I like it when people try to make up their own new words. (I've personally been pushing to change "sandwich" to "sammich" for years.) But for some reason, I'm not fond of this attempt. Maybe it's because someone tried to make a movie about it:

"A better guy-talk comedy than 'The McMullen Brothers?'" Really? High praise. High praise, indeed!

8. "You're the cutest thing I ever did see." Okay, now we're getting into the lines in the song that I actually like. This is a good multi-purpose line that can be used on a wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, child, puppy, kitty, random baby, chocolate chip cookie, or just about anything good and/or praiseworthy. (We seek after cute things!)

7. "I'm a picker. I'm a grinner." This line reminds me of Hee Haw. (And that's a good thing.)

6. "Lovey-dovey, lovey-dovey, lovey-dovey all the time." This line reminds me of one of the three hottest chicks on the entire Gilligan's Island island. Which also brings to mind the other two hot chicks from that show. (And that's a good thing.)

5. The "wah-wah" of the guitar. This is where Steve makes the guitar sound like the stereotypical sound of a dude whistling at a cute woman. It can be heard right after the "Maurice" line and after one of the "lovey-doveys." (At about 1:50 of the video.)

4. "Some call me the Gangster of Love." I, personally, have never been called "the Gangster of Love." I'm beginning to think it will never happen.

3. "Some people call me Maurice." I have, on the other hand, been called Maurice. It was in reference to Belle's father on Beauty and the Beast. As in, "crazy old Maurice." Why? Well, because my daughter is similar to Belle in the following ways: 1) She's beautiful. 2) She's smart. C) She likes to read books. And D) Everybody thinks her dad is kind of crazy.

The Gangster of Love?

2. "Some people call me the Space Cowboy." I like the idea of a "space cowboy." (I really should probably watch Firefly one of these days. I've heard good things.) Of course, this line also reminds me that Joey Tribianni's imaginary friend when growing up was a space cowboy named Maurice.

1. "I really love your peaches. Want to shake your tree." I've never said this to a woman. I have, however, said it to a peach tree. So I guess I do have that going for me.

COMING UP NEXT: Tonight's Episode: Sing a Song of Murder!

130: You Didn't Have to Squeeze Me

130. "I Thank You" by Tom Jones [iTunes? Not the version I have.]

I have never thrown my underwear at anyone during a concert. (I'm just sayin'.)

I can't find the version that I have of this song anywhere on iTunes or YouTube. That's too bad, because it really is a tour-de-force of yelling, screaming, hollering and excitation that only the curly-haired Welshman can give you.

Thank you, Tom Jones. Thank you.

Ah, the life of Tom Jones!

COMING UP NEXT: Jack Nicholson? Heath Ledger?

131: I Am a Honeybee

131. "Authenticity" by Harvey Danger [iTunes? Yes]

This is the second (and final) song in the HondoJoe Top 200 by Harvey Danger. It's a great rocker featuring some nice cowbell work.

I really, really, really like Harvey Danger. They only put out three full studio albums, and each of the albums contains several excellent songs. "Carlotta Valdez" and "Theme from Carjack Fever" are both excellent workout songs. "Old Hat," "Sad Sweethearts of the Rodeo," "Private Helicopter," "Cream and Bastards Rise," "Elvis, I Don't Love You Anymore," are all great fast-paced songs that I highly recommend. And "Little Round Mirrors," "Moral Centralia," and "Pike Street/Park Slope" are "softer" songs that are also very, very good. And, of course, "Jack the Lion" was already featured here in the Top 200 at #161.

Did I mention that I really like Harvey Danger?

COMING UP NEXT: Please, don't throw your underwear.

132: I Give My Time to Total Strangers

132. "Until the Night" by Billy Joel [iTunes? Yes] {YouTube: Until the Night (Live).}

"I never ask you where you go after I leave you in the morning. We go our different ways to separate situations."

"As they pour into the streets I will be getting closer. As the cars turn their headlights on."

I love the imagery of this song. As the song reaches its climax I can almost see all the tail lights of the cars driving home for the night.

I used to always wonder who was singing the song with Billy. I looked at the liner notes on the album to see if some special guest star had been credited with singing it with Billy. It took me years to figure out that both parts were being sung by Billy Joel in a duet with himself! (Ah, the magic of the recording studio.)

COMING UP NEXT: More danger and more cowbell.

133: I Had an Amplifier, Too

133. "Makin' Some Noise" by Tom Petty [iTunes? Yes]

I never much cared for Tom Petty. Oh, sure, some of his songs were a little catchy, but I didn't really like him all that much. To me he was like Jackson Browne, only uglier.

And then the Full Moon Fever album came out. Dang, that's a great album!!! It's easily one of my 25 favorite albums of all time, and probably in my top five albums by anyone not in the HondoJoe Cognitive Triad. (ELO, Billy Joel, and They Might Be Giants.) (Of course, it's probably not a coincidence that Full Moon Fever was produced by and features Jeff Lynne.)

As I've stated earlier, none of the songs from Full Moon Fever made it into the HondoJoe Top 200, although several make the honorable mention list. Petty followed up Full Moon Fever with another album produced by Jeff Lynne, Into the Great Wide Open. It produced the hits "Learning to Fly" and the title track, both of which are very good. The rest of the album just isn't as good as Full Moon Fever, with one exception. This song.

"Makin' Some Noise" has a great guitar riff that is repeated throughout the song. It makes excellent use of the cowbell. (I'm telling you, you're gonna want that cowbell!) And, it's a very good song to work out to.

On this song, Tom Petty is makin' some excellent noise! And, yes, my opinion of Tom Petty has changed over the years. I think pretty highly of him now. (Even if he is still uglier than Jackson Browne.)

COMING UP NEXT: A one-man duet.

134: Monkey Business On a Sunny Afternoon

134. "Tarzan Boy" by Baltimora {#13; 10/85} [iTunes? Yes] {YouTube: Tarzan Boy.}

Baltimora is not from Baltimore. Baltimora is actually from Italy, and their frontman is an Irishman named Jimmy McShane. Pretty interesting, no?

And yet for all that intrigue, that has to be one of the most boring videos I've ever seen. I had never seen the video before, and it is leaving me a little perplexed. It's not often that a video will make me like a song less, but that's what this one did. The song is fun. The guy looks interesting. But.....bleh.

Now, to change the subject, I'd like to talk about songs in advertisements. I like songs in advertisements. There are a large number of songs that I was first introduced to because they were in commercials. Often, it's new music, like when Vertigo by U2 was being used for iPod commercials a few years back.

But, sometimes it's older music that I just wasn't familiar with. That was the case with John Lennon's Instant Karma. I first heard it in a Nike commercial 20+ years after the song originally came out, and I thought, "Dang, that's a great song!"

And, of course, sometimes they take a song that I'm very familiar with and use if for a commercial. That's where Tarzan Boy comes in. Because of the imagery of the commercial it was used in, pretty much every time I hear this song I picture a bottle of Listerine swinging through the jungle.

Come to find out that the people at Pixar are the ones responsible for my swinging mouthwash memories. (Here's a link to the commercial: Tarzan Boy Listerine.)

I'm not sure if having the images from this commercial come to mind when I hear this song is a good thing or not. But, there is one instance of use of a classic song in a commercial that still haunts me to this day. Several years ago Dominoes ran some ads to promote their new buffalo wings using We Will Rock You by Queen. Every once in a while, in the deep dark recesses of my brain, when I hear the song I still think: "We will, we will rock you, buffalo wings." (I really hope the guys from Queen put the money they made from selling out to Dominoes to good use.)

COMING UP NEXT: Charley T. Wilbury, Jr.!

135: It's Like It Was Sung By Angels

135. "Take Off" by Bob and Doug McKenzie {#16; 1/82} [iTunes? Yes]

("This is where the DJ talks. Don't say anything.")

Why did we think Bob and Doug were funny? Was it the funny accents? Was it the silly hats? Was it the goofy faces? Did they ever actually say anything that was funny?

Yes! The answer to all of those questions is yes! Not only were they funny, they were also very musically gifted. It's like they sung like angels. And the drum solo? Amazing!

In fact, I would say Bob and Doug are definitely on the list of best musical brother duos of all time. Sounds like time for a Top Five:

5. The Righteous Brothers

Two handsome men! (Sponsored by Brylcreem.)

4. The Everly Brothers

It's good to see that even guys with freakishly large craniums can make it in the music industry.

3. The Brothers Johnson

Yello!
("Strawberry Letter 23" is an underrated classic.)
(And HondoJoe Top 200 Honorable Mention.)

2. The Doobie Brothers

Ma and Pa Doobie must be soooo proud!

1. Bob and Doug McKenzie

Beauty, eh?

It's a beauty way to go.

COMING UP NEXT: An Italian group with an Irish frontman, none of whom are from Maryland.

136: I'm At My Wits End

136. "Cruel to be Kind" by Nick Lowe {#12; 7/79} [iTunes? Yes] {YouTube: Cruel to be Kind.}

"You still mystify, and I want to know why."

I've never really understood what this song means. "Cruel to be kind?" I don't get it. "It's nice to be nice to the nice?" That I understand. But, if you want to be kind you need to be cruel? I just don't get it.

That said, I still really like this song, and I always have. I'm not sure why. It's a good sing-along song.

I had never seen the video before. It's an interesting wedding video. Something that might be only interesting to me: the guitar player in the purple suit/limo driver is none other than Dave Edmunds!

"I pick myself up off the ground to have you knock me back down again and again."

COMING UP NEXT: More from the Maple Leaf.

137: A System of Touch and Gentle Persuasion

137. "Head Over Heels" by Tears for Fears {#3; 9/85} [iTunes? Yes] {YouTube: Head Over Heels}

"I wanted to be with you alone and talk about the weather."

I never really liked Tears for Fears. I didn't dislike them, either. They were just there. I was very indifferent to their first hit, Everybody Wants to Rule the World. I like their next song, Shout, a little bit more, but I didn't love it. And then, this song came out. I'm not sure why I like it so much, but I do. And, as the years have gone by, I like it even more. (You could say "I'm lost in admiration.")

The video is pretty silly and fun, too. Even better, though, is the "literal" video: Head Over Heels (literal video).

One of the best things about Tears for Fears is the dude's name. No, not Curt Smith. The other one. His name is Roland Orzabal. How do you pronounce that? Orza-ball? Oar-Zaa-bull? Oar-zay-bull? I'm not sure. But, any way you look at it, we could use more guys named Roland, couldn't we?

COMING UP NEXT: Cruel and/or unusual

138: It's the Ugliness Men, Mr. Horrible

138. "Someone Keeps Moving My Chair" by They Might Be Giants [iTunes? Yes] {No official YouTube video}

"We thought that our dreadfulness might be a thing to annoy you with."

This is a cut from the They Might Be Giants album (from 1990) Flood. It was the first They Might Be Giants album I owned. I got it as one of my selections from the Columbia House record club after hearing Istanbul on the radio and seeing the guys perform Birdhouse In Your Soul with Doc Severinsen and the Tonight Show Band. I figured, "Hey, it can't be any worse than that "Thompson Twins Greatest Remixes" cassette I got." (Doctor! Doctor! is a fine song. However, I do not need a nine minute dance remix of it.)

Upon listening to Flood, I was surprised and amazed at how awesome it was from beginning to end. And one of the songs that stood out to me was this one. Why? Well, it was certainly helped by lyrics like this: "Would it be okay with you if we wrote a reminder of things we'd forget to do today otherwise, using a green magic marker, if it's all right, on the back of your head."

I mean, really, who thinks up lyrics like this? Only minds that are slightly askew. I like to think that my mind is slightly askew, too. So, in They Might Be Giants I found some oddballs I could believe in. And sing along with.

"Mr. Horrible. Mr. Horrible. We're not done with you yet, Mr. Horrible. You have to try on these pants so the Ugliness Men can decide if they're just as embarrassing as we think. We have to be sure about this."

COMING UP NEXT: Something happens.

139: Twenty Bucks Is Twenty Bucks

139. "Maple Leaf Rag" by Russ David [iTunes? No.]

Ah, the daringness of youth. And the things a high school kid would be willing to do for twenty dollars!

I still remember the anticipation of that day. It was pretty exciting. First of all, that your dad was crazy enough to offer you $20 to play Maple Leaf Rag as prelude music for priesthood meeting. Secondly, that you were just stupid enough to do it.

The looks on the faces of some of those old men was definitely worth the twenty bucks. (Easy for me to say. I wasn't the one forking over the cash.) I thought you would just play the song through the first go-round, but no, you played the song in its entirety! (That'll teach them for taking a vote on whether we should sell the organ after the organ had already been sold!)

Straight cash, homey!

The version of this song that I have on my iTunes is by a St. Louis bandleader named Russ David. The song was, of course, originally written and performed by Scott Joplin. But, in my mind it will always be played by some knucklehead high school kid with a crisp twenty dollar bill in his pocket!

COMING UP NEXT: Is this horrible?

140: Mama Leone Left a Note On the Door

140. "Movin' Out" by Billy Joel {#17; 3/78} [iTunes? Yes] {No official video on YouTube}
"He's trading in his Chevy for a Cadillac-ac-ac-ac-ac-ac."
"Working too hard can give you a heart attack-ack-ack-ack-ack-ack."

This song really should have been written by Burt Bacharach-ach-ach-ach-ach.

Or performed by Jack Black-ack-ack-ack-ack.

Or perhaps Jack Mack and the Heart Attack-ack-ack-ack-ack. (You may remember Jack Mack and the Heart Attack's main claim to fame as being the band that was playing when the bomb went off at the Atlanta Olympics.)

This song, from The Stranger album, was one of the first to get me hooked on Billy Joel. It made Hackensack seem like a magical, wonderful place. It made me want to get a Chevy so I could trade it in for a Cadillac. It made me want to check out the place down on Sullivan Street across from the Medical Center. It's a darn good song.

You oughtta know by now....

COMING UP NEXT: It's the Andrew Jackson song!